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Top 10 Showtunes for Shunning the Sun

Top 10 Show Tunes For Shunning the Sun

While the relentless heatwave may have passed, summer is still alive and well. What better way to cool off than with an enjoyable Broadway ditty. While “Summer Nights” from Grease is the perfect pick for karaoke with your gal pal after a pitcher full of margaritas and “Summertime” from Porgy and Bess remains one of the most beautiful melodies ever penned by the Gershwins, I have avoided the obvious. If you have suggestions or comments about YOUR favorite songs, I’d love to hear from you. Crank the AC and relax!

1.“The Heat Is On In Saigon” from Miss Saigon

The heat may be on in Saigon, but in this insufferable heat, it isn’t lacking in NYC either. This bouncy tune informs us that two things are rampant in Vietnam: Horny Men and Hookers. Wow! Just like NYC! In the middle of the song, A wide eyed, gentle, barmaid Kim innocently tells us:

“I’m 17 and I’m new here today/the village I come from seems so far away/All of the girls know much more what to say/but I know I have a heart like the sea/A million dreams are in me”

Sometimes I sing this line with personal conviction while I’m getting ready in the morning—until I catch my own reflection in the bathroom mirror and notice the graying temples and receding hairline—then I change my tune to “Why God Why”. This upbeat, raucous song from Alain Boubill & Claude-Michel Schönberg also provides an excellent opportunity for raging theater queens to sing along and feign romantic interest in the ladies. Not since South Pacific’s “There’s Nothing Like a Dame” has a show tune been so “ butch!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do-j6ZnpCEE

Photo courtesty of http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_MvMR2HD-NDg/TA-tcf0AaMI/AAAAAAAAAhs/OnGqYZMofFM/s1600/Miss_Saigon+Poster.jpg — Photo courtesy of Wikipedia

2.“Sit Down, John” from 1776

Talk about troubles! Founding Father John Adams not only had a resistant congress who wouldn’t even debate colonization much less vote on it, but he also lacked a Friederich’s air conditioner to cool his weary, sweat laden brow! This delegate from Massachusetts teaches us all a very important lesson: If you can’t stand the heat or get people to work with you, simply open up a window, stomp your feet like an insolent child, get up and yell, “Vote Yes! Vote Yes! For Independences’ Sake”. Don’t worry that people will think you’re crazy. You are in New York City after all. Music and Lyrics by Sherman Edwards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XDKpk2qEOU

3.“Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid

Ariel longs to be “where the people are” on land, but wise Sebastian the crab reminds her that “Life under the Sea is better than anything they got up there!” This now classic, Oscar award winning Calypso song is lyrical brilliance from Howard Ashman and a sea-sized musical entrée for the ear from composer Alan Menken. Put it on your playlist, be-bop down the sidewalk, and try not to sing along. I dare you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DUXVAg7oWg

Image from http://pamelaalfaro.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/412px-movie_poster_the_little_mermaid.jpg

4.“Somewhere That’s Green” from Little Shop of Horrors

Speaking of lyrical and musical brilliance, this beautiful ballad dates back to Howard Ashman and Alan Menken’s first musical collaboration from this cult classic favorite. Haven’t we all wished to escape the confines of a sadistic dentist who gives us a black eye and a broken arm-just so we can dream of living in a quiet suburban development with a nerdy guy who is raising a man eating plant?

This earnestly sweet lullaby makes us long for a simpler life filled with fresh air, Tupperware parties and “I Love Lucy”. Whatever you are doing right now—just stop. Take a break. Mix your favorite drink, sit down in a cool room, and daydream with Audrey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouLiQ7KhmYU

Image courtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Little_shop_of_horrors.jpg

5.“We Need a Little Christmas” from Mame

Nothing says, “Screw You, Heat Wave!” quite like a Jerry Herman number. Sure…it is technically a Christmas song, but it makes us think of cooler December weather and raises our mood higher than James Franco hosting an awards show.

Just listen and enjoy this perky show-stopper. There’s no real reason to actually “haul out the holly” or “put up the tree before your spirit falls again”, unless like most New Yorkers, you have no storage for Christmas decorations and display them year round– In which case, “slice up that fruitcake” and slap on the sunscreen until you wait for Santa to slide down the chimney.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb9OVjlEZho

Image courtesy of www.moviepostershop.com

6.“A Lovely Day to Be Out of Jail” from The Life

I’ve often told myself that, if I’m ever incarcerated, I will bust out into a show tune once I’m released. Fortunately, Cy Coleman and Ira Gasman created the perfect sing along song. From the 1997 Tony Award winning musical, this mellow jazz selection (sung by characters Sonja and Queen) reminds us that whether it’s 9 degrees or 99 degrees, “every day is spring when you’re sprung from the slam”. It’s like the advice my mom used to give me as a child: “Honey, a day spent out of jail is a day well spent.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msK5duruMrY

7.“Everybody Rejoice/Brand New Day” from The Wiz

“Can’t you Feel a Brand New Day? Can’t You Feel a Brand New Day? Can’t you Feel a Brand New Day” And if you didn’t understand it the first three times, don’t worry! They’ll sing the same line over and over! Lyrically, the song is about as complex as a Justin Bieber Newsletter, but musically you’ll want to leap out of bed and skip down the street like a happy hooker just released from prison (see #6). In my opinion, the movie version of this song from Charlie Smalls is better than the original Broadway cast recording, but either one will leave you smiling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy8dUJEOqos

Image courtesty of http://gaydistrict.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Diana-Ross-The-Wiz-Brand-New-Day.jpg

8.“Where You Are” from Kiss of the Spider Woman

“When you feel you’ve gone to hell in a handbasket/And the world in which you dwell is no paradise…You’ve Got to Learn how not to be where you are”–Excellent advice from the minds of legendary John Kander and Fred Ebb. This memorable mambo is sure to mentally pour you from the pounding sun into cooler climates. And seriously…what on earth is cooler than the indefatigable Chita Rivera singing and dancing in a white tux with tails? Be sure to listen for the high octane tap break. Sometimes I like to dance along to it in my apartment—until my downstairs neighbors pound on the ceiling and ask the herd of elephants to quiet themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXL2Wq0v4-Q

Image courtesty of http://www.theatrepeople.com.au/sites/default/files/images/Where%20You%20Are.jpg

9. “If Ever I Would Leave You” from Camelot

Excuse me for a moment while I express myself like an eighty year old bitter queen whose had one too many vodka tonics around the piano at the Monster Bar, but they don’t write ‘em like this anymore. This lush Lerner and Lowe melody is smoother than the finest aged bottle of cabernet. Sung by the dashingly handsome Lancelot to his fair maiden Guinevere, He reassures her that neither spring, summer, winter, Nor Fall would be a good time to leave. Ok Romeo, but if this relationship starts going south, you’d better pray for a 5^th season called “Divorce”.

Colm Wilkinson sings a version of this on an album called, “Stage Heroes” which is among my favorites, but the Robert Goulet version (featured in the youtube link below) is chock full of creamy croon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwfYHVJHMOA

Image courtesy of http://www.thecobrasnose.com/images6/camelot.jpg

10. “Shine Like The Sun” from 9 to 5

Country music legend Dolly Parton strikes gold with this musical gem from the short-lived stage version of “9 to 5”. I’m convinced that Parton could take the ingredients listed on a box of cheerios and turn them into an anthem of hope and inspiration. Her empowering song reassures us that “There are no guarantees/Life is always a hit or a miss/But I truly believe I won’t always be feeling like this”. Tennessee’s Darling Diva also recorded a solo version on her equally winning album, “Better Day”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6NAYO2SgYs

Image from http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mog1h15q581stej2oo1_1371315062_cover.jpg

“Love” Is In the Air, and It is Remarkable

by Ryan Leeds

Near the end of the Public Theater’s ultra-hip, disco-spiked musical, “Here Lies Love”, leading lady Imelda Marcos (beautifully portrayed with equal parts grace and hubris by Ruthie Ann Miles) pleads to her Philippine nation: “Why Don’t You Love Me?” Perhaps it is because she has lost touch with her constituents? Or maybe it is due to the fact that her husband, President Ferdinand Marcos, has put the country under martial law? Whatever the reasons, you’ll feel as though you’ve received a unique education in Filipino history that will leave you giddy and energized.

Director Alex Timbers (“Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson) has brilliantly staged a 90 minute view of the Marcos Administration with intensity and cleverness. The show includes three moving platforms, slick choreography, audience participation, and a continual dance pulse in the club-like setting. The pulse can be credited to Talking Heads’ front man, David Byrne and DJ Fat boy slim, who have created 28 songs for the show, all of which are highly infectious.

Jose Llana (Ferdinand Marcos) and Ruthie Ann Miles (Imelda Marcos) generate chemistry and sexual energy that can hardly be contained in one space, Behind them, a talented ensemble dance and sing with precision and passion. In the musical’s title song, the lyrics ask: “Is it a sin to love too much?” If the answer is, “yes”, this reviewer must repent. After four extensions and much critical acclaim, numerous others must agree. “Here Lies Love” is simply too hard not to love.

“Here Lies Love” Runs through July 28^th at the PublicTheater, located at 425 Lafayette Street in Manhattan. Tickets are available by phone (212) 967-7555.

Siberia Looks To Break New Ground

by Michael Tyminski

Siberia: Mondays at 10 p.m. Eastern on NBC

(As a heads-up: due to the nature of this show, it is basically impossible not to spoil it’s major conceit, as a result I should advise you that if you want to check out the show with a completely open mind, you should probably watch it before you go any further into this review – Mike)

In retrospect I find this pretty ironic: I spend a disproportionate amount of time railing against the obviously fake aspects of reality TV but I genuinely enjoy a lot of the fake shows that skewer the conventions of said shows. Tonight NBC blurs the lines between “reality” and “drama” to an unprecedented degree with it’s newest summer series: Siberia.

At it’s core Siberia is a psuedo-reality drama set in the titular location – a place known for being as inhospitable as possible. Contestants are forced to live in a village that was seemingly abandoned in place 100 years ago due to mysterious circumstances. It is here that the contestants must fight to survive not only the harsh Siberian winter, but also themselves and the inhospitable and unnatural occurrences around them.

Sixteen contestants arrive blindfolded in the Siberian Forest, with our host, the Jonathon Buckley, arriving to explain the rules of our game (which he calls a social experiment) in which the winner receives a half-million dollars. We then learn the premise of our show: stick 16 people in the Siberian wilderness with no modern conveniences and make them survive until the end of winter. Jonathon then discusses the history of this middle-of-nowhere outpost whose settlers disappeared with no explanation in 1908.

Our contestants then end up on a two mile race through the forest and swamps to run to our tiny settlement. While many of the contestants arrive in a large pack, we are down to two groups of two vying for the last two slots in the settlement (the last two to arrive would be eliminated): an injured player and the bleeding heart who carried him through the forest, and a journalist who leads herself and another contestant down the wrong path. After they’re eliminated we get our next little bit of information: This is a contest of sheer endurance and is about the ability of our contestants to band together. There is a large box that will occasionally grant mystery items and a gate that once passed through eliminates a contestant. Otherwise there are no rules.

Immediately our contestants squabble off over the fact that there are 12 cots for 14 people. The box then signals mentioning the possibility of mushrooms, and the group goes off to find mushrooms and water. They find water but not mushrooms and have a kumbaya moment around the fire only to be interrupted by a nightmarish growl. The next morning, Tommy goes missing while looking for mushrooms, and a cameraman runs into the village bleeding from the head. After the cameraman is whisked away, Jonathon appears to tell us that Tommy died from a fatal accident.

While the plot synopsis feels very mundane, it’s that attention to mundane detail that lets this show shine. For the first three fourths of the episode, this shows plays out like a near perfect reality show to the T: surprise eliminations, squabbles over insignificant issues, the paint-by-numbers casting that every reality show uses, and even the very convincing testimonial inserts they use. The show even manages to ape the visual cues from reality TV: tons of cheap time lapse footage and reused stock shots can be found (the ax into stump shot in particular is used about a dozen times).

However, from the start of that horrifying growl during the camp-fire, the show then picks up into full blown horror mode. Things seem amiss, but very subtly so: a five legged frog, a mysterious shed that’s padlocked shut, Tommy deciding to go deeper into the woods leaving his group (and having a funny exchange with the girls he’s left behind). Unfortunately, the show elects to take it’s horror cues from the Blair Witch school of cinematography which means that many of our most direct horror moments occur off of the camera.

For what it’s worth, our cast more than holds up their end of the bargain. Many reality show participants come off as B-grade actors, and as a result it is no real shock that our unknown actors do an equally solid job sending up reality archetypes. Most of all, for all of the precious little screen time he gets, Jonathon Buckley truly steals the show as the obnoxious reality host in the most Probstian of molds.

The Final Verdict: Siberia is incredibly entertaining as a mash-up of two of pop cultures most renowned and cheapest entities: the reality show, and the horror flick. Our pilot did an excellent job of lulling the viewer into the calm before the storm, and slowly hinting that things are amiss, taking its’ time as if it were a long form horror film. Hopefully it will eventually deliver on this horror and not rely solely on Blair Witch type shots in lieu of occasionally showing the viewer what the contestants are up against. Check it out, it’s a pretty fun ride, though I could also see this show better suited as a binge watching experience.

The Hero Is An Action Packed Summer Thrill Ride

by Michael Tyminski

The Hero: Thursdays at 8p.m. Eastern on TNT

It’s incredible to chart the growth of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He started off in football, at the University of Miami before ending up in the world of professional wr– **ahem** sports entertainment. It was a bit part in 2001’s The Mummy 2: Revenge of the Scorpion King, however, that allowed him to make a jump into movies, often alternating between family friendly Disney star and tough gritty action hero like his role in the Fast and the Furious series. TNT’s newest show is the newest step for The Rock, being a show very clearly molded from his vision.

The Hero is a reality competition that takes nine everyday people and puts them in taxing situations in order to determine which of them gets the title of “Hero”. These situations are designed not only to test their physical skills, but their mental and moral ones as well. Johnson not only functions as executive producer, but host and mentor to the contestants as well.

We open with the Rock explaining the game from the roof of a 60 story building. The mechanics of the game are very closely related to ABC’s The Mole. There are two challenges a show: a team challenge and a solo challenge. One person is designated as a hero who can put large sums of money in the pot or keep them from themselves. The solo challenges are worth $10,000 to the Red Cross and double the time for that weeks solo challenge. Our solo challenger, chosen from the phase 2 participants of our team challenge, then plays for the right to either put $50,000 in the team bank or they can pocket it, guaranteeing that they go home with a fairly large sum.

During the first challenge, Patti (one of our contestants not tabbed for the team challenge) is summoned up to the roof, where the Rock gives her an offer. $25,000 to the pot, or $25,000 in her pocket. After a struggle in which our two most musclebound contestants take 25 minutes to touch hands, our smaller pair acquires the second half of a secret code in 3 short minutes. The team makes it to the summit and puts the code in in the nick of time, giving the extra time for the solo challenge.

Returning successfully, our contestants must discuss whom they will send on the hero’s challenge, where $50,000 of prize money is on the line. Our heroes meet in a pretty cool superheroes lair, where they ask our three remaining heroes about whether or not they would be good for our challenge, which was teased as “in the dark”. The challenge involves walking around Noriega’s Bunker in the dark looking for a generator which will open up all of the lights, unlock the cash, and escape in 20 minutes or less.

Our contestants come from all walks of life including Cheerleader, Cop, Surgeon, Technician, Construction Worker, Fitness Trainer, Single Parent, Salon Worker and Professional Wrestler. Unfortunately, once the rules are in place, they’re all prone to bickering. While it can grate and get excessive at times, it’s intriguing how to see that the rules of the game can divide what one would think would be a fairly unified front.

The Rock plays an interesting combination of host, tempter, drill sergeant, and of course, the trademark flippancy that one would expect from Mr. Johnson. He balances these roles fairly well, though it should be interesting to see whom will take the temptation offer from the Rock, as some of our contestants seem to already have some degree of hero worship for him (no pun intended) from minute one of the show.

There is a ton of beautiful cinematography on this show, including great shots from extreme heights during the Tower Bank challenge and a lot of beautiful sunrise/sunset shots of the Panama city skyline. Similarly, the show’s night vision footage in the Noriega’s bunker challenge is pretty impressive. The challenges are also well designed, as both challenges were completed just barely in the nick of time (though those extra ten minutes were essential).

The Final Verdict: The Hero is one part Mole, one part action movie, and entirely balls to the wall. While the contestant’s bickering can get very annoying very quickly, this is the slickest and most compelling looking reality competition show I’ve seen to date. The challenges are also well designed and compelling to watch. It’s completely worth checking out, and could possibly become must watch if later episodes carry the same amount of entertainment value.

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