In doing my ongoing series “Get To Know”, I have noticed that each person that I interview has a great deal of physical admirability but also has a vast amount of intelligence, humor and self awareness of who they are and of course how they are perceived in the larger scheme of things. One of these people is my good friend George Unda, who currently resides right outside of Los Angeles in Long Beach, California. I got to know George through my laptop screen (minds out of the gutters people) watching the hit online series in which he is apart of called “Where The Bears Are”. Billed as a comedy-mystery series, it focuses on three different friends in the bear world who are thrown into a different murder mystery each season and have to figure out the whodunit aspect by the time the season ends. George plays the hunky and charming Detective Marcus Martinez on the show. [Read more…] about Get To Know “Where The Bears Are” Star George Unda
LGBT
Why You Should Experience Winter Gay Spirit Camp
The harshness of winter has definitely hit us all in the recent weeks, keeping us trapped inside and not really enjoying the latter part of the winter months. Why not change that for the better and take a trip for relaxation, new friendships, education, and great conversation? This is where the Winter Gay Spirit Camp comes into play, which is taking place at the Easton Mountain Retreat, roughly 30 miles north of Albany in Greenwich, NY. Happening during the upcoming President’s Day Weekend, the goal this camp presents is to bring new people together and enjoy the warmth of one another while doing some great activities, lounging in the hot tub, jamming at a dance party and so much more. There is also some great education initiatives and workshops that each person can experience which furthers how fab this event seems to be. I recently sat down with one of the weekend’s hosts, Wil Fisher, who clued me into just how awesome this whole weekend will be. Take a look.
Hi Wil! Thanks for sitting down with us. So the fourth annual Easton Mountain’s Winter camp is rapidly approaching! Can you tell us what this is all about?
Winter Gay Spirit Camp was inspired by our summer camp programs that have a similar traditional camp experience. We thought it would be fun to bring that same playful and community driven energy to a winter camp that involves activities that are best enjoyed in the winter like ice skating, snow tubing, and getting cozy by the fire.
From the looks of it seems like there is a ton to do at this camp. What can someone expect when they sign up for it?
There is a ton to do! Or, you can just take naps and sit in the hot tub all weekend if you want. All activities and workshops are optional. Activities include: yoga, art, a talent show, a dance party, a wine tasting soiree, and more. Workshops offered explore a variety of topics including: the impact of masculinity on our lives; the ways we can speak our truths more directly and lovingly; how we can be of service and make a positive impact on the world; how we can cultivate more wonder and gratitude in our lives; and more.
Is this something all ages can attend or is there a particular age floor for this?
One of the intentions of this camp is to draw a younger demographic to Easton Mountain. That said, there is still a beautiful cross generational experience that happens at the camp, and all ages (over 21) are welcome.
From reading your description Wil, you focus a lot on queer youth programming, marketing and development. Can you go a little bit more in depth into that and how you will utilize that at the camp?
We are planning to invite some of the at-risk queer young adults who attended the recent Easton Mountain Leadership Academy. The young people will have an opportunity during camp to share with the community about their experiences at the academy and their leadership intentions for the future.
So much of the gay community has a negative connotation, yet Easton seems to be the exact opposite. Do you feel there should be more organizations like this?
Yes! I believe that being gay is a gift that should be celebrated! Easton Mountain provides a safe space for LGBTQ people to come together and build community, and that community provides space for its members to discover and then share their unique gifts with the world. This is an important step that supports the potential positive impact the LGBTQ community has to offer to offer.
Easton Mountain provides space for this unique and important community to develop and grow.
Will you ever be open to doing something like this during the summer, or twice a year at that?
During the summer we have Gay Spirit Camp and Gay Freedom Camp. Both camps are similar to Winter Gay Spirit Camp but instead of playing in the snow, we play in the sun! Our new pool with a view of the mountains and pond is stunning, and our summer camps are a great time to enjoy that feature of Easton as well.
What do you hope is the ultimate goal for each person who attend your camp upon them leaving?
I think each individual creates their own goals based on what they are currently looking for in their lives. These goals range from connecting to other men in romantic or platonic ways; trying out new things and new ways of being; connecting to spirit and nature; relaxing; having fun; and more. Easton has so much to offer, there is something here for everybody.
For you and the gang, what are the plans for 2015 and beyond?
2015 is very exciting time for Easton Mountain because it is our 15-year anniversary. To commemorate this exciting occasion, we have a number of initiatives including 4 facility improvement projects, a new membership program, and a 15-Year Anniversary Weekend happening Memorial Day Weekend that will include an outdoor concert and a gala dinner. All are welcome to celebrate this momentous time with us.
What is the best way for people to learn more about Easton?
Our website is a great resource for information about our programs, history, staff and amenities. We also have an active Facebook page and a community based Facebook group that helps people stay connected when they aren’t at one of our retreats. In NYC, Boston and other major cities, there is also a group of folks affiliated with Easton called Living Soulfully who meet monthly for workshops and social gatherings, and all are welcome to attend. The best way to get to know what Easton has to offer though is to come visit us or attend one of our retreats.
Want to learn more about this fantastic experience? Check out their official website for more information.
Drunk Infants With A Trigger Finger Pushing “Send”
Sometimes I look at the things that some of my friends and acquaintances posts on Facebook and I ask myself, “Why are they posting this?” Whether it be too personal, caustic, disturbing, inappropriate or just plain redundant, it makes me wonder how these thoughts, unfiltered; have originated from the same soft-spoken people I know in real life. I know these people to be thoughtful, intelligent and considerate individuals, so what gives?
Is there some kind of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” phenomenon that occurs as soon as we gaze into our screens? I have been guilty of the same. My index finger itching to hit send as soon as someone pisses me off on Facebook. But we cannot all have split personalities, so why does it seem so online? It reminds me so much of when I used to teach children and when I used to bartend because essentially, you’re dealing with the same kind of people: the uninhibited. Granted, children will not shout out curse words and make inappropriate remarks at you (well, some might) and inebriated men at a bar won’t pee their pants and burst into tears (again, some might). Though they both have absolutely no problem telling you what they think and act upon it. Such is not the case with most people in our day-to-day lives… until Social Media stepped in.
Now we have a whole new social and cultural paradigm to explore. The untamed digital frontier is at all of our fingertips and our inhibitions have not yet been developed well enough for this brave new realm of thought and communication. We can literally watch porn while reading an article on the Huff Post, while watching a web series on YouTube and chatting with your friends and family on Facebook, and all with the same machine. Was this even conceivable twenty or thirty years ago? I don’t think so. So it should come as no surprise that we are all very much in our infancy of social media etiquette.
Like infants, we are clumsily grasping at everything we find online. We sometimes naively confuse satire articles from The Onion as actual news and frantically re-post our outrage. Like belligerent drunks, we spill our personal problems, expose ourselves publically and engage in pointless and damaging arguments that we regret later when we come to our sobered senses. And then we ask ourselves, why did we do this? Why did they (others on social media) do this?
A more comprehensive look at the why’s of our duality in social media behavior and inhibition is explained in academic articles such as Dr. John Suler’s The Online Disinhibition Effect. In essence, he gives us insight on people’s self-disclosure online in comparison to that in face-to-face interaction with others. He has identified the following values that influence our online inhibitions such as, Dissociative Anonymity, Invisibility, Asynchronicity, Solipsistic Introjection, Dissociative Imagination, Individual Differences and Predispositions, Minimization of Status and Authority and Shifts among Intrapsychic Constellations.
To paraphrase, these values show us that we become uninhibited as a result of how we perceive the relationship between us and others online. We may disassociate ourselves from other perceived anonymous people online since to us, they are just an avatar or email, and not actual people in our physical presence. We may feel somewhat invisible in that we cannot be directly identified online therefore giving us more confidence to speak freely. We may imagine the responses of those online conversations in our heads and confidently respond to our own internalized conversations in our own time, possibly delivering a more uninhibited response. We do not see the facial and verbal cues online that we do in face-to-face interaction; hence our reactions to sarcasm, irony, wit and various social nuances can become misinterpreted. Responses to authority cues, such as dress attire and face-to-face presence are sometimes lost, allowing us to see everyone in a more evened-out communicative playing field. We may ultimately find it easier to let go of those every day defenses in a place where we have more control of certain parts of our personality.
Is this control perceived or real? I believe it is both. We ultimately decide what to make out of social media, but sometimes the effects of what we say and do are very real. I believe that like infants, we can grow. We can identify previous pitfalls in our own defensiveness, aggression, and reactionary behavior that have gotten us in trouble or have just annoyed others. It takes time. It takes patience and self-awareness, just like growing up. I believe that like drunks, we should know when to stop drinking and shut up. The way I like to look at interaction on social media (especially on Facebook) is, walk into it as if knowing you are already four drinks tipsy and are cautiously aware that anything you say now will be reminded upon you the next day when you are sober. Avoid the embarrassment. Ask yourself, “What am I getting out of this?” “Do I need to win this argument?” “Do I have to make this joke at the expense of this person?”
The better we become at monitoring our own social media behavior, the better we become at identifying those faux pas that annoy us in others and their own motivations and eventually, the more patient and understanding we become with those people because ultimately, they are learning too.
Citations:
Suler, John, Ph.D (2004). The Online Disinhibition Effect. CyberPsychology & Behavior Volume 7, pages 321, 322, 323, 324,325,326.
Why We Still Need Queer Coffee Shops
I came out when I was 14, and at the time, there weren’t a whole lot of options for me to meet like-minded teens and young adults. The internet was in its early stages, which meant I didn’t know much about chat rooms and the like (thank the gods, in a way, for that). What I did find, however, was a Houston based group for LGBT teens and the local gay coffee shop, Crossroads (r.i.p.). [Read more…] about Why We Still Need Queer Coffee Shops
Get To Know “Gaybash” Author David Jay Collins
It can be quite the good thing when two people meet in an unconventional way. It can be even when the two people at hand have a passion for what they do, especially when the background is the world of the arts. That is what happened when I recently met Chicago native and author David Jay Collins.
David is someone who took a liking to a recent story I wrote about the bear community and after a quick couple of messages I found out that he was a booming writer with quite the first piece out there for the public to devour. This piece is called “Gaybash”, a fantastically titled novel which is left open to much interpretation. David was nice enough to sit with me and the folks at Manhattan Digest to discuss “Gaybash” at hand, his way into the literary & art scene, his take on the bear community and where he sees himself in the future. Take a look.
So tell me Mr. Collins how did you end up in the literary world in the first place?
I don’t know that I’m in the literary world yet, but I’m trying! I’ve wanted to be a published author since I was a child. Someday that will happen. Growing up, my parents encouraged my creativity and I wrote short stories for my teachers to critique and loved playing with building sets like Lego and Tinkertoy. As far as toys go, if you could build with it, I had it.
So those things fueled my creative juices growing up and gave me the confidence I lacked in school. I had a few close friends growing up, but I was very shy and never felt like I fit in with any particular group.
I drew on those lingering feelings of isolation when writing Matt Tompkins, the main character in Gaybash. The story sets a reserved and untested young man on a difficult, sometimes painful journey to self-acceptance. And at the end, Matt realizes that he’s been the biggest obstacle in his own life. So that’s the story I wanted to tell.
Being that you are somewhat new in the literary world, you had to grow up with some inspirations. Who inspired you to become a writer?
My parents read to me all the time, and it fostered a love of books from an early age. One of my favorites is “The Phantom Tollbooth” by Norton Juster. As a child, it surprised me how well this crazy, imaginative world could be drawn with words. Milo, the main character, is someone I identified with—kind of alone in the world as he stumbles into this fantastic, imaginary place. He returns to his regular life invigorated with a new appreciation for everything around him.
But the literary book that really changed my life was “The Moonstone” by William Wilkie Collins. It came before Sherlock Holmes (Doyle and Collins were contemporaries, however) and it’s widely credited as being the first mystery novel. The narrator talks directly to the reader, something that I had never encountered before, and it made the story seem very contemporary to me as a high schooler in the ’80s. The kicker comes at the end of the book, where the characters come back and tell their side of the story and even contradict each other. It’s a great read.
The book scene in NYC is huge, as a lot of the literary houses like Random House and Penguin are based here. Do you think the scene in Chicago should be just as large there, both gay and straight?
When I think publishing, I think New York. So the literary scene follows. But lots of other cities like Chicago have a great scene and supportive venues. It was a coincidence that just as I began looking for places to do readings and promotions I changed jobs, so I spent the fall settling in. Now I need to get a lot more involved in what’s available for me here.
I’m a member of the Chicago Writers Association, and I’ve found a welcome reception there with Gaybash. My focus right now is on polishing my social media but my feeling is that nothing will ever replace the impact of a live reading, or meeting people face to face who’ve read your book. That’s my next step.
On top of writing you also create artwork as shown on your fantastic website. You even donated a few pieces to Chicago House’s annual Birdhouse Art Auction. Is art or writing a bigger passion?
First of all, what a great organization! I love what Chicago House does for people living with HIV/AIDS and it’s been an honor to donate my artwork to them. My writing and artwork complement each other. In both I guess you could say that I bring to life…what’s in my mind. It’s an amazing thing, to turn a creative thought into something physical. But when it’s finished, that ‘something physical’ no longer belongs to me, it belongs to the person who’s reading the book or viewing the artwork. The experience becomes theirs entirely.
Last year just as I was finishing up the book, I had a deadline on my Chicago House auction piece, “Home Tweet Home 2014.” Since I work full-time, the pressure was on to finish both projects well. But it wasn’t terribly stressful since I could leave all the cutting and tiles of the artwork for a while and return to writing. And then when my characters just wouldn’t do what I wanted them to do, I’d go back to the artwork and clear my head of them for a while.
Now I want to get to the book “Gaybash”. That is a very open ended title in leading people to assume a bunch of different things. What does Gaybash actually mean?
It was a big risk to choose that particular word. In the first half of the book, there are three separate incidents that escalate from hate speech to a full-on physical attack. All of which qualify as gaybashing. But the turning point is when Matt stands up for himself and that’s the empowering twist on the title—it’s a gay man fighting his attackers.
When I was writing the draft I thought of “Impulse” as a good alternate but ultimately this isn’t a quiet, little story so I thought a bold title fit much better. Wishful thinking, but if this gets turned into a movie I swear the audience is going to cheer when underdog Matt lands his first punch.
I know this is an Ebook now, however is this something you eventually want to turn into a hard cover or paperback?
Yes, very much so. The idea of having my book available to buy in a bookstore would be a dream come true.
But in the meantime, something has really surprised me: many people hate the ebook format! They just won’t buy an e-reader device. And I respect that—there’s something true and familiar about a printed book. That’s part of the reason I’m finishing up a trade paperback version of Gaybash, which will be ready through my website in a few weeks.
Do you want Gaybash to have a sequel and if so, do you know the premise?
I wrote Gaybash as a one-and-done novel, but I’ve had some readers ask about a sequel. Given the way our justice system has sometimes mis-served LGBT folk, there is a logical place for me to pick up the story in the near future. These characters certainly have more to say. But as of right now, I’m not writing anything related to Gaybash.
Do you think the literary world is still booming regardless of major stores like Borders shutting down?
Absolutely it’s booming! Digital publishing offers indie authors a wide-open platform and it’s exciting that so many readers have welcomed new voices.
As has often been said to indie authors, however, writing the novel is the easy part. In the absence of powerhouses like Borders, and with traditional publishers far less likely to take risks, indie authors must treat their creative work like a business and promote, promote, promote. Instead of accepting my rejection letters as Gaybash’s destiny, I chose to believe in my work, build an audience, and prove that this story deserves to be published. It’s entirely up to me—and within my control—to not take No for an answer.
Add to this the thriving independent booksellers (including one of my favorites right here in Lakeview East, Unabridged Books) and the growing interest in literary festivals among avid readers looking for fresh work, and it’s a great time to be writing.
What’s your overall take on the bear community and where can we improve?
I have a very social job that I love. But when I’m home, I disappear into my writing and artwork. So I’ll preface my answer by saying that I’ve never been to Bear Week or TBRU or even Bear Pride. If I were to go (and that’s certainly a possibility!) I’d expect to be welcomed into a frisky and fun atmosphere.
But what I can comment on is what I occasionally see on social media that is neither frisky nor fun. And that’s a bit of judgment on who counts as a bear and who doesn’t, based on endless rankings and subcategories, and who’s “bear” enough to sit at the cool table. If that’s the ticket in, I’ll pass. If you’re a big, bearded guy proud of how you look and who you are, then I’d be happy if you count me as a friend. What more in life do you need?
What are you hopeful for in 2015 and beyond?
I’m proud to live in Illinois, which enacted marriage equality through the state legislature last year. In Chicago we’re very lucky to have committed allies at the local, state, and national level who genuinely care for our community. But there are other pressing issues, largely unaddressed, that face LGBT people and LGBT people of color every day. I’m hopeful that our leaders will listen to all voices in our community and show the same passion for justice and inclusion that they showed in the fight for marriage equality.
And personally…I can’t wait to see what this new year brings. I have just a few art pieces planned, but I’m most excited about Flowercube, which was commissioned by a former professor and I’ll tweet progress pics under #flowercube. I hope Gaybash strikes a chord with readers and opens a conversation not just about the violence and hatred we face, but also the strength and perseverance we show. Beyond 2015, I can’t imagine. But whatever the future brings, I’m not afraid. At the end of Gaybash, I leave Matt in a really powerful place—he’s finally alive in his own life. And that’s exactly how I feel right now.
Want to read “Gaybash” and get to know even more about David Jay Collins? Log on to the book’s official site and check out his Facebook page for more information.
Muscle Bears At The Gym: Gym-timidation or Insecurity?
As the New Year has begun, the inevitable list of Resolutions are made by millions of people to start their year off right and change something that they are currently doing for the better. The most common resolution people make is of course to lose weight, and that couldn’t be further from the truth when you go to your local gym for the first couple of months in the year and notice the overcrowding of said “Resolution-ers”. Many of them happen to break those resolutions and eventually the gym becomes the regulars that you see on a daily basis. So what happens when you are one of the people who stick to your resolution, have weight to lose, and are surrounded by men who from your own point of view have met their goals and then some? We are talking about the muscle bears, gym bunnies and general men who are in great shape that to the average Joe’s out there are looking to in some way resemble them whether it is for muscle mass or a lean physique. When it comes from someone who is looking to achieve their workout goals but aren’t there yet, do we view these men as intimidating because of their physique or is it merely insecurity that each of us experience on our own end?
I myself am someone who resides both in New York City for work and Long Island where I live. For years I used to go to a local gym on Long Island where for the most part it is a wide gamut of people, both men and women, of all ages, shapes and sizes. The “gym-timidation” wasn’t necessarily there as it seemed to be more regular people going and just enjoying their time. I weighed at my heaviest 280 and when I went to these local gyms my main focus was in fact just losing the weight and that was it. It was very easy for me to drop after a while and at my lightest I was 215. I felt amazing and the constant affirmations I would get from friends and family helped that cause out. Due to my work schedule in New York City, going to the gym back at home became a bit of an exhaustive type of thing due to my long commute back home and I figured going to one in the city would be beneficial for me as I would still have a ton of energy that I can burn off after I left work. So I decided to join one in the city, a primarily gay one. That is when the focus for me shifted a bit.
I joined the brand new Crunch Fitness on 19th and 8th, and was able to get a pretty sweet deal due to knowing a guy who at that point worked there as a trainer. This was where the shift for me really occurred. It became a situation where the majority of the men in there were Adonis like, ranging from my age to above and they were everywhere in a much smaller space than my last gym. Whether doing cardio, arms, legs or whatever floats your boat there they would be right in front of you, lifting more than your entire body plus 200 pounds or doing some insane leg workout you thought was reserved for freak show acts at the circus. On top of that, you have the locker room. As amazing as they would look, the comparisons would become that much greater as it became increasingly awkward to walk around in a towel (designed for washing dishes, not bodies FYI) and seeing where they are aceing and you are not quite there yet. Now this is just my common experience, and it does read insecurity of course as it has been an epic battle to get where my body needs to be, but do these quote unquote “Muscle Bears” make us feel this way due to how they look and interact at the gym, or really is it that unique individual whose insecurity breeds in these types of situations?
I took off five months off recently from the gym for whatever stupid reasons I did, and now that I am back and have put on quite a bit of weight. I am back at at 4-5 times a week and am determined to get back on track and get myself to the goals that I want. Yet I did feel that insecurity come back a bit after a long time off, and decided to ask a bunch of my friends if they have had similar experiences with other guys at the gym.
“I’m intimidated by EVERYBODY fit or fat alike.” #SocialAnxiety
“It’s probably insecurity. I’ve never spoken to a guy who I thought was jacked at the gym who ended up being a douche. But I also go to serous bodybuilder gyms with less social nonsense.”
“When I was really fat and when I was really skinny, the really jacked guys were actually nice to me. They were encouraging and glad to see me in the gym making a difference. Now, the kinda-fit gym bunnies are assholes a lot of the time. They’ll be judgmental about fat people or skinny people because that’s what they do. Serious lifters love the gym and love to share that with others.”
“As someone who started at 150 and is now 170, I always feel it helps to realize that *everyone* is there for the same root goal. To be as healthy as they can be. Even the stacked ones, the thin ones, etc… “Everyone starts somewhere.” And just like anyone else in life, if they don’t care to know you, screw em. You’re there for *you.*”
“I’ve been lifting for 17 years now with every type of person possible and the facts is that you are intimidated by what and who you don’t know. People in the gym really are not paying attention to you unless you are making an absolute spectacle of yourself. Those people don’t last long.”
“The guy or girl who is just getting started out and can only bench press the bar, or less get respect. ALL of us were that guy at one time. They are trying to get ahead and should not feel as intimidated as they think. Lifters of all types just have more muscle. On the inside, they are still the same and get it. In fact, most would be happy to give a tip or two; just ask for help after they have completed their set. Respect begets respect. If the intimidation is too great however, then spend the extra money and get a trainer or join crossfit/bootcamp/etc to build your confidence level. There are so many ways to skin a cat, you just have to find the right one that fits your goals.”
“People often forget that bodybuilding often attracts an introverted personality… not always, of course.. but often. More extroverted men often do team sports with more social interaction. Therefore, huge guys can be somewhat introverted, but very kind and generous with information (if you catch them at the proper time). Being introverted is often mistaken for “arrogant”, “shallow”, or “narcissistic”.”
Question is here- what do YOU think about this topic? Is it intimidation or pure insecurity?
Here is a good article related to this issue.
Get To Know Producer & Songwriter Paul Andrews
In my many years of doing interviews with people in and out of the music community, one division that I never really focused on are the producers, songwriters and remixers that can bring certain songs to life. Historic people in the industry from Diane Warren (Unbreak My Heart, How Do I Live) to Ryan Tedder (Halo, Bleeding Love) have all shaped music in one way or another. There have also been times where remixing a song turns out to be better than the original, most recently with hits like “Cruise” by Florida Georgia Line which was remixed to feature hip-hop icon Nelly and historically songs like “I’m Real” remixed with Jennifer Lopez and Ja Rule and pretty much every Lana Del Rey Song.
Cue in Paul Andrews, who is a quadruple threat all wrapped in one cute and handsome frame! Paul has been in the industry for many years now, and has credits to his name from being a producer, songwriter, remixer & arranger. Even though Paul and I both reside on Long Island, I didn’t meet him until this past summer at Provincetown’s epic Bear Week with his equally as awesome partner Tom. I later saw Paul post a ton of songs he was remixing and I didn’t want to miss out on a chance to interview him and get to know him better. A walking Billboard Magazine of musical influence, Paul Andrews is the real deal when it comes to his knowledge and experience in the industry. Did I mention cute already? Just look at the pics. I sat down with Paul recently to discuss his history in the industry, some of his favorite songs he has worked on and remixed, and plans for the future. Take a look!
Hi Paul! So tell me what got you into producing, remixing & writing in the first place?
Hi Ryan! Without a doubt, I would have to credit my mom for getting me into music. She offered my brother and me piano lessons when we were very young and then kept on encouraging me in all my musical pursuits. She also played a lot of music while we were growing up, from classical to R&B to pop. My mom has great taste in music and I developed an ear for good songs and full musical arrangements because of her.
In school, I played in band, jazz band and orchestra and I sang in the choir. I ended up getting a degree in music theory and composition. It just seemed natural for me to write and produce music since music has always been a part of me.
Did you have any huge inspirations growing up that led you to doing this?
I wish I could list everyone since I was constantly being influenced and kept in awe by so many great musicians. There are different aspects of record making, so I drew different inspiration from each part. My biggest classical influence was and still is Claude Debussy. His use of harmony was ear-opening for me. It has stayed with me my entire life. I drew inspiration from incredible songwriters like Carly Simon, Brenda Russell, Burt Bacharach, Rod Temperton, John Farrar and Antonio Carlos Jobim who wrote great melodies with interesting harmonies.
Producers and arrangers like Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis, Trevor Horn, Arif Mardin, David Foster, Narada Michael Walden and Walter Afanasieff got me into the production aspect of music. And artist like Chaka Khan, Donna Summer, Basia, Swing Out Sister Out Sister, Sade, Tears For Fears, Oleta Adams, Everything But The Girl and ABBA knew how to deliver the entire package.
You have done a ton of great remixes, one of my favorites being Mary J. Blige’s song “Just Fine”. What is your process when remixing a song that is already exceptional at the level it is at?
Thanks! Part of the process is just finding the vocals to work with! Sometimes I am afraid of touching songs that are considered “classic”, but then I think that I’m offering something unique to the listener. I had to let go of the fact that some people just won’t like what I do, and that freed me up. Why give people what you think they want when the best you can offer is what you uniquely have to offer?!
The term “remix” might confuse some people in regards to my work since I’m not necessarily making a club version of a song. When I remix (or rearrange), I try to take the song in an entirely different direction. I challenge myself to see if I can capture the style or the sound of other periods. I tend to keep the tempo of the original song and not alter the speed of the vocals too much. Harmony is really important to me, so I usually start my ideas by getting a new chord progression down (and seeing how far out of the key I can go!) It can totally change the feel of the melody.
I like creating moments in songs where things just open up or quiet down. I know I’m onto something when I get that “chill” factor. Surprisingly, a lot of my arranging is done in my head when I’m away from the studio. I constantly have music going in my head. Sometimes I’ll start singing to myself and not even realize it. I have had sleep issues when I can’t turn off the music in my head.
Do you have a favorite remix that you have done so far and why is it that one?
One?! But they’re all like children to me! I can’t say that I have a favorite, but I do have some favorite aspect of certain mixes:
Seal “Crazy” – I felt like I got a classic sound of it. I wanted it to have that grand sound and feeling.
Kylie “Slow” – This was the first mix where I just let go of expectation and did what I wanted to do. I love samba and apparently, a lot of other people do to.
Donna Summer “I’m A Fire” – Right after her passing, I did this mix out of my love for her (I was devastated). I really felt my sincerity came through.
Adele “Rumor Has it” – Pure orgasm when I got that bridge to work!
Adele “Set Fire To The Rain” – First mix where I didn’t go for a club tempo or feel and where I went to an older 80’s style.
Adele “Someone Like You” – I really like how I completely changed this song and got that 60’s orchestral feel.
Madonna “Lucky Star” – I imagined what this song would have sounded like had Madonna recorded it a few years prior with the same producer.
Hall & Oates “I Can’t Go For That” – I like that I created a funky thumper, changing up a lot of the chords while making it feel familiar.
Pet Shop Boys w/ Dusty Springfield “What Have I Done To Deserve This” – This was pure 60’s fun!
You get some pretty big artists retweeting the remixes you do, Kylie Minogue was recent. Have you ever had the ability to meet any of these people and work with them?
Yes, Kylie liked my mix and tweeted it out. I got a bunch of plays from that tweet! She actually called our house once, but that’s another story…
I love the internet and social media because I’ve been able to connect with people who I’ve admired for so long. I feel very fortunate and humbled to have received compliments from some of my idols like Brenda Russell, Jimmy Jam, Steve Anderson, Nile Rodgers, Danny White (Basia), Mike Stock (S.A.W.), Andy Connell (Swing Out Sister), Lisa Coleman (Wendy & Lisa), Jody Watley… And then I felt beyond ecstatic when some of them actually posted my work. I was lucky to have met some of them, but haven’t worked with any of them… yet!
One of the most memorable compliments came from Sebastian Morton who cowrote and produced “I’m A Fire” with Donna Summer. He heard my mix and wrote to me saying that the way I arranged it captured the essence of what they were going for when they wrote the song. He also said that he knew Donna would have loved it.
When I first moved to New York, I was fortunate enough to become friends with Toni C. (Whitney Houston, Deborah Harry). We wrote and produced a few things together. We had such a blast!
Do you have a dream artist that you are dying to work with on a remix?
I really felt that I connected with Adele’s voice on the 4 mixes I did. Or maybe it’s just that her voice has so much character, it sounds great on anything! I would definitely love to work with her. I wish that could have worked with Donna Summer. I guess the next best thing would have been to work on her posthumous remix album. I’d still love to get my hands on some vocals to give it a try. I definitely have this thing for female voices.
You have been in the industry for quite some time now. What are your thoughts on how the industry is today compared to how it was when you got into it?
It’s changed a lot. But it’s not just a change in the industry: the way we make music and the way we listen to it has changed too.
Back when I first starting remixing, record companies really worked an artist. They developed them, found the right songs, built a name for the artist… Now it seems that these companies want a finished product, complete with a fan base, all wrapped up nicely and ready to sell with a bazillion remixes (all done on spec) on the side. There’s no development. Basically, the A&R man has gone away.
Because of technology and the internet, so many people are now making music and sharing it. It’s great to have so many options, but sometimes things get lost. Some computer programs are basically writing and producing songs with a few clicks of a mouse. The craft is missing. The public is eating all of it up, but they want it NOW and they want it for free. Meanwhile, so much of what they’re listening to is all frosting and no cake. They get bored quickly and move onto the next flavor. One friend told me that her daughter was playing song in the car through her iPhone. She would listen to each song until the end of the first chorus, and then skip to the next song. Finally, my friend asked her daughter to “please let one song finish!”
On the other side of this, the internet has allowed older artists, or artists that don’t necessarily do popular music, to release material on their own without a recording contract. They have an outlet and can do the kind of music they like without any input from the record companies. I love supporting the artist directly.
What are your plans for 2015 and beyond for Paul Andrews?
Well, I’ll continue to do the mixes, but I want to start collaborating with other musicians, get involved in some projects… I definitely need to concentrate on original material. I tend to like so many different styles, I’m just going to see what comes out of my head!
Want to know more about Paul Andrews? Check out his official site’s below!
Get To Know My Big Funny Peter A.K.A. Peter Bisuito
Funny can come in all different shapes and sizes, but not often do we find someone of a particular physique and stature do it so well as my buddy Peter Bisuito, AKA “My Big Funny Peter” does. Peter, who resides in upstate New York, has developed quite the following for himself in recent years as his stand up gigs become bigger and bigger. I met this brooding & tall drink of muscle water over the summer at Provincetown’s epic Bear Week, in which he was one of the highlighted performances. As someone who has a bit of an intimidation factor when it comes to muscle bears, Peter couldn’t have been any more of the opposite. He was kind, sweet and funny all at the same time besides being quite the eye catcher if I may say so myself. After meeting him at Bear Week I wanted to get to know him more and most importantly how he decided to make people laugh more than just a hobby.
Peter sits down and discusses with me how he got into the industry, what makes him laugh the most, how his Bear Week experience was and what the future holds for him and My Big Funny Peter. Take a look.
Hey Peter! So how did you get started in the comedy world in the first place?
I’ve been a performer since I was a teen-ager but its been all theater. I started as a dancer in musical theater 25 years and 90 pounds ago. Comedy is something I’ve wanted to try all my life but never had the courage to do so. But in January 2011 I hosted an awards banquet for a local theater company and asked them if I could try a bit of stand up before the ceremony. They said yes. So I wrote a 20-minute set and killed it! The audience loved me and I decided from that point on I was going to pursue comedy.
Who would you say are some of your influences that helped you along the way?
Definitely my husband, Mark. He was so impressed with my comedy he actually encouraged me to quit my job and give up my income to purse comedy full-time.
Is your comedy based strictly on LGBT material or does it go outside the grain of that?
Oh God no. LGBT is only a fraction of what I do. Many of my audiences are predominately straight. I only perform in front of all gay audiences whenever I’m hired to host or headline an all-gay event. My comedy appeals to everybody. Gay, straight, young, old etc.
What makes you laugh the most on a consistent basis? Do you ever use what makes you laugh and put that into your act?
So many things make me laugh. I truly laugh all throughout the day. Whether it’s something cute and funny my dog did, or something I heard on TV. Or even something stupid that I did like trip over the end table or drop something in the toilet. I was on the couch one day watching TV and I farted so loud it scared the cat. She jumped off the couch and ran into the basement. That right there made me laugh for a good 17 days straight! And yes of course I use all of this in my act because I figure, if it made me laugh, it will certainly make an entire audience laugh!!
You obviously have a fantastic physique. Do you think aesthetic plays a huge part of being successful in the gay world?
Truthfully when I started comedy, everybody and their mother told me I would sell-out every show because of my muscular body. I have come to realize over the past few years that the way I look actually works against me. People are not used to seeing a big beefy bodybuilding comedian. People fear the unknown so when they see me they say to themselves, “Wait a minute. A big muscular comedian?? There’s no way this guy can be funny.” Especially in the gay community. If I had a dollar for every time a gay man said to me, “Are you going to perform naked?” I have a very difficult time convincing people that I’m a legitimate funny comedian. Just because I’m in shape doesn’t make my life easy. I continue to claw and scratch for every ticket I sell.
I met you over the summer at the infamous Bear Week in Provincetown. Was that your first or have you gone before? What was your show like?
Bear Week 2014 was my 3rd time performing there. All my shows have been well received with lots of laughter and love from the audience. However, all 3 years I was about 5 or 6 tickets short of a sell-out. I’ll be back for 2015 so hopefully this will be my very first year that I will see that SOLD OUT sign across my poster!!
Seeing as you are part of the bear community where do you think we can improve on overall to make us more unified?
Actually I think the Bear community has done an amazing job at being unified. There is a whole Bear movement going on right now. We are the shit baby! There are Bear events going on all over the world!! And the nice thing about the Bear events is that we are all accepting. We truly welcome anybody whether they are Bears or not. That’s why most Bear events promote themselves not only to Bears, but to “Bear Admirers.” Can you believe it?? We are ADMIRED!! I think people love the Bears because we are always so happy and down-to-earth. And I think the reason for that is because Bears aren’t hungry! No need to be bitchy when you’re well fed!
Do you think there is enough representation of gay comedians in the mainstream media?
Hmm, I don’t really really have an opinion on this. I’ll have to think about it and give you my answer during my next interview!! J
You are based in upstate NY however if the opportunity strikes would you ever consider relocating?
Oh come on! Who wouldn’t want to live in BUFFALO for the rest of their lives?? Ha. Actually the only reason why I live in Buffalo is because my husband has a good steady job here. He’s been working there for 26 years. If he found a job elsewhere we’d move immediately. Buffalo is a great city but sometimes I feel life is passing us by. However I will say my husband always tells me that if opportunity knocks, he would want me to go. Mark and I have been together for 12 wonderful years. We love each other more now than we did when we first met. Our love continues to grow with each passing year. He wouldn’t want me to miss any opportunity no matter what. So just because I live in the big flashy and exciting city of Buffalo, doesn’t mean I would pass any opportunity that came my way.
Now that 2015 is here, what are the next steps career wise for you?
I’d really like to get an agent and/or business manager. I have the talent but I just don’t have the contacts. I think an agent would really help but unfortunately I don’t even know where to start looking for one. I’m also very excited about this awesome project I’m working on. I’m developing my own YouTube web series called Exposing Peter. It’s a show based on my comedy. There will be reality moments, scripted moments, sit-com moments. There will also be funny cooking, travel and workout segments. I already have 2 episodes complete. I’m working on a few more and I hope to make my series premiere in February or March 2015 with a new episode every month. I’m so excited at the DOZENS of viewers I’ll be getting!! So STAY TUNED!!
Anything else you want to add?
Well, I guess this is where I get a bit sentimental on your asses. I grew up extremely closeted. I thought the entire world hated me because I was gay. It caused horrible self-esteem issues. So I would make people laugh to gain their acceptance. It’s become a way of life for me. However, I got a very late start. I always wanted to make my living as a performer but my life just didn’t go in that direction. It was only 2 years ago when I decided to give up my life and my income in order to purse comedy and entertaining full-time. I put myself on food-stamps and Medicade and now I feel like I’m trying to catch up for 25 lost years! I spend every minute of my life thinking of ways to make people laugh. I want to be as successful as I can but I don’t want to wait until I’m 65. In other words, I don’t want to be Estelle Getty! So all I ask is that people share my videos, tell all your friends and follow me on social media.
Want to know more about Peter? Log on to his official site.
Get To Know Future Drag Superstar Mya Tension
In the ever growing world of Drag Queens becoming somewhat of a norm in today’s society, there are a ton of fresh faced and beaten ones right here in New York City that are ready to grab your attention (and maybe a couple of dollars for their performance). One of those in particular is up and coming star Mya Tension, who recently released her first single on iTunes called “Fix Yo Face”. She also has a big performance tonight at Bocco Di Bocci on 7th Avenue for their 2014 Holiday Party with famed DJ’s Corey Craig and Jonny Mack busting it on the one’s and two’s.
Before the big show, the Boston native turned NYC mainstay Mya Tension sat down with Manhattan Digest to discuss her big night tonight, “Fix Yo Face”, “Rupaul’s Drag Race” and her thoughts on how the public views drag queens currently. Take a look.
Hi Mya, so first off, how did you get into doing drag in the first place and how long have you been doing it?
Little habit I picked up at 13. Been dragging in clubs for 13 years (and no you can’t find out my age from those two numbers – I am older than 26) .
Every drag queen has an inspiration behind their name, what is yours?
Beautiful drag queens/performers always captured my attention from a young age (and still do today)…so I took it to a new level and gave drag “Mya Tension”. I admire anyone who dares to drag and excels in their craft – look and performance with no shade.
You have a single that is coming out today, very exciting! How did the single come about?
So exciting and everything is happening so fast since recording! The fun lyrics and a great beat for Fix Yo’ Face are courtesy of Christopher Bedrosian of Bedrosian Records and he took a chance on an unknown. I gave it a shot and he liked what I did with it.
Will an album follow the single as well?
That is definitely the goal if people respond well to this song (and me, of course!).
What is your take on Drag Queens being in the mainstream media now, do you think it is a good thing or a bad thing?
It’s better than a good thing – it’s GREAT! In my lifetime, RuPaul put drag on the map and did it with class and talent (oh yeah – looks too!). And Drag Race is producing a slew of superstars and talented queens that are more publicly recognized than ever for all that they do. What queen wouldn’t like publicity and fame if it’s well-deserved?
What about Rupaul’s Drag Race, would you ever want to be on that show?
Haha – THAT would be something! Can’t say I’m quite as seasoned as those top contestants just yet…plus I can’t sew well so I’d probably lose those challenges terribly! Maybe after performing more and learning how to sew I can qualify for RuPaul’s old-timer show in a few years. I wouldn’t mind being a guest judge though…
Do you have any legend in the game that you model yourself after?
I can’t say I model myself after her, but RuPaul is a great overall inspiration; it’s tough to model yourself after a legend! I can say that top queens who captured my eyes and heart and inspired me to up my game include Courtney Act, Jade, Chad Michaels, Yara Sofia, Alexis Mateo, Carmen Carrera and the reigning queen, Bianca Del Rio – among many others. Any day they want to meet and have a drink it’s on me! As far as my look and style? Get me access to Ariana Grande’s wardrobe!
Tell our fans about the show you have coming up tonight, what can they expect?
A lot of fun supporting a great organization – the Pride Network! I’ll give it my all so I hope they enjoy some different looks, some attitude, some laughs, a fun new original song (my debut performance of Fix Yo’ Face), some surprises…and lots of cocktails. I look younger and prettier after a few.
What is the future for Mya Tension?
The future is unwritten right now – it’s been a VERY fast and crazy rollercoaster ride so far! My plan for now is to ride it out, make good decisions, meet great people and see where this goes. More songs, modeling, acting – who knows? Oh yeah 10 less pounds are in my future too.
Andy Cohen’s “The Andy Cohen” Diaries- Review
“Andy Cohen’s Got The 411” couldn’t be truer in this novel
I for one am a self confessed Bravo addict. I don’t know when the addiction began, but it is real and true. Part of that addiction is the man at the helm of this article, Andy Cohen. Andy, who only a mere couple of years ago was only known for being a producer of content for Bravo TV, emerged as a contender in late night programming with the wildly successful “Watch What Happens Live”. He has also been the host for the riveting “Real Housewives” reunions, as well as developing some of our TV mainstays such as “Top Chef” and “The Millionaire Matchmaker” to name a few (not on this list- “NYC Prep”. Yikes Andy Cohen. Bloop). With all the success that Andy Cohen has had over the past couple of years, both on and off camera, he has taken his crazy life stories and written about it in two books. The first one was released earlier this year, titled “Most Talkative: Stories From The Front Lines Of Pop Culture”, which chronicled how he got to where he is now. He recently released his second book titled “The Andy Cohen Diaries” which gives us a day to day visit into his life and the totally exciting chaos that ensues on a daily basis. As much fun as the first book was to read, I was totally excited to read “The Andy Cohen Diaries” as it would give me a better glimpse into someone who I view as a bit of a hero when it comes to making yourself in this world. I got that, and so much more.
There are a lot of facets that I love about Andy Cohen just from reading this book. There are times while reading it where I genuinely get a Kathy Griffin vibe from him, meaning that he is really the celebrity for the people and that he is just one of us. What I mean by that is when he details his nights at “Watch What Happens Live” & when a big celebrity appears, he wants to make sure that everything goes well in order to make sure the night runs smoothly (See: Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, even Shaq). It comes off as a mixture of wanting to be a good host yet also wanting to make sure that the audience watching at home and in the studio is having a good time, which comes across as genuine and that he really cares. There is even a part in the book where he worries about becoming a self obsessed narcissist as he has heard that it is near impossible for other late night hosts not to get that way. Very interesting.
The book sometimes really does read like Andy Cohen is the gay male version of Carrie Bradshaw, most notably noticed by Sarah Jessica Parker herself as written on the back of the book. From reading this book it seems like Andy leads quite the glamorous life, with hosting fantastic events, attending some of the best bars and clubs that New York City amongst other cities has to offer, and hanging around some huge A-listers as a genuine friend to (Kelly Ripa, Anderson Cooper, etc). Something that I love about these parts of the books are the normal people that he meets along the way, such as “Baby Jane Flight Attendant” on his trips to LA and his “future husband” that he meets on at trip that coincidentally lives in the same building as him. His also honest take on how New York City has become completely commercial is a huge breath of fresh air, especially when it is something many New Yorkers like myself have been noticing for years. So when he brings up the greedy landlords that keep closing some of the best restaurants in New York City down due to price hikes to make way for yet ANOTHER Duane Reade or TD Bank, it is just another reminder of why NYC is not what it used to be. Kudos to Andy Cohen for bringing that up.
It to me is so funny that the theme song to “Watch What Happens Live” starts with “Andy Cohen’s got the 411”, which couldn’t ring truer in this novel. The 411 meaning the biggest name dropper of 2014. There are so many names that Andy discusses in this book, both inside and outside of the housewives realm. Something that I wish he could’ve been a little more open on are the housewives that got fired and he omitted their names while discussing. That would’ve made this book even more salacious as a lot of us would love to know his true opinions on the Housewives, although he seems to play favorites (Nene, Brandi, etc). That being said, some of the highlights for name dropping is his cavorts at “The View”, most particularly his epic visit when Barbara Walters read him the house down for his assumption that her generation didn’t understand “American Hustle”. Yikes. Of all the name droppings in the book (Gaga’s was a hoot) the one that I genuinely liked the most was his honest description about Miss Britney Spears. I grew up loving that girl so much that I was voted Most Obsessed in my 8th Grade Yearbook. So when he talks about meeting her in Vegas, and pretty much detailing his honest thoughts about her (get the book, its good) it brings us a much more candid version of who Britney really is on a day to day basis, and that is was a real person’s experience and not a tabloids. Fascinating stuff.
The best parts of this book are two things- Wacha and his parents. Wacha, the rescue dog that he adopted from a kill shelter in West Virginia, is a pivotal point in this book as he appears throughout. From Andy’s lack of committing to anything including a dog, it really was fun to see the growth that he experiences with Wacha from the first time he meets him to the bond he develops with the dog to this present day. It really is heartwarming and as a dog lover myself can empathize about the daily struggles of having a dog but loving it unconditionally as they love you that way. Then of course there are his parents. I truly believe if Andy gave them their own reality show it would be a hit, as they are both hilarious in their own nutty ways. Evelyn’s (mom) texts to Andy about a myriad of things runs similar to how Kathy Griffin describes the brutal honesty that her mother Maggie bestows about her on a daily basis. It is part caring, part keeping it real, and part hilarity all wrapped up in one, and something you will see quite often as you read the book.
Overall, I think Andy Cohen is like Charlie Brown meets Andy Warhol. Just a normal guy from St. Louis who happened on this incredible life and stories for the masses to read, just like Andy Warhol did with his book back in the 80’s I would highly recommend anyone getting this as you will find some sort of relatability throughout. For more information on all things Andy Cohen, log on to his site.