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LGBT

Turning our eyes blind to LGBTI inequality.

by Brian Connolly

hr-human-resources
Turning our eyes blind to inequality.

If at work you were exposed to a flippant potential act of inequality…… would you turn your eyes blind to LGBTI inequality? I at the time merely raised a chuckled eyebrow and let it pass. During my day I got angry as if I let the “cause” down…….  beating myself up with the stonewall for not standing up against it. Now if I raised the issue there and then chances are the unwittingly innocent party would say “I am sorry I did not realize your were gay”. Am I trying to find homophobia where none exists, are we consumed with “fighting for our rights” that we forget that not every scenario is a direct attack on the LGBTI community, but more a matter of perception and communication. So did a simple act such as not disclosing information about a gay group in my work place be grounds for homophobia, not wearing a pink badge or inexperience at communicating LGBTI information?

A little background, the aforementioned potential LGBTI offender was a member of Human Resources, and its this fact that incited me to write this. Surely Human Resources should be the most inclusive, equality led proponents in our work places?

Do we expect too much from people these days in our march to equality, lets face it we still struggle to communicate with each other on a neutral level as a species. Can we really expect slip ups like this to go unnoticed or unchallenged and just mark them as another ‘whoopsie’ in communication as we fumble our way through speech with a stranger. Suffice to say I was annoyed there was an omission of “gay” in my meeting with HR and by right could report or raise it an issue. Though the question I ask myself, does it ruin my life and others? Whatever I decide I will continue living my life as an open gay man in and outside of my professional life uninhibited by others.

 

Filed Under: LGBT, NEW YORK, OPINION Tagged With: equal rights, expectation, professionalism, work place

Putting the Versatile Back in Versatile-Bottom

by David Baxter

bottom, Manhattan Digest, Manhattan, Versatile

 

I’m sure that many of my readers have gotten to that point in a Grindr/Scruff conversation where it turns out that both of you are versatile bottoms and the conversation grinds to a halt. Yet, both of you/us have the term “versatile” in the label, so you’d think that someone would be able to step up to the plate and take charge.

[Read more…] about Putting the Versatile Back in Versatile-Bottom

Filed Under: LGBT, OPINION Tagged With: gay sex, top and bottoms, versatile

PORN STAR – Taking C*ck up my @ss! (Bottoms Up!)

by Charlie Harding

Charlie Harding
Charlie Harding
photo by Men.com

Yes folks, Twitter don’t lie, I HAVE FILMED MY FIRST SCENE AS A BOTTOM! Men.com asked me to be their TOP to BOTTOM for the fifth installment in the series entitled “TOP to BOTTOM 5: Daddy’s Turn!” (and rewarded me handsomely for it I might add!).  I have to say I had a great time shooting it, and hope you all enjoy seeing it when it debuts on Men.com November 22nd.  By the way, the preview is up on the site now… So here’s some fun trivia and behind the scenes moments from the day of filming!

 

We filmed the scene in Atlanta in my actual condo. My partner Scotty Rage (@scottyragexxx) and I bought a loft about a year ago, and celebrated that anniversary by opening the unit up the men.com production crew!  We shot the entire scene in our living room on the leather couch that has been in my family for almost 30 years! And Yes that is also our 6’ by 6’shower stall in the scene… it has two shower heads and a tub in the enclosure and can hold about 8 big muscle guys… (dirty smirk)

 

Scotty Rage plays my partner in the scene (LOL big acting stretch there, huh!). Scotty and I open the scene together and set the tone and premise that leads to my bottoming for Colby Jansen.  Colby and I have been friends for a long time, and really enjoy getting to work together.  He and Scotty also have hit it off well, so the day was a reunion of sorts and more like a bunch of friends hanging out (and fucking), which made for a super fun time.

Colby Jansen and Charlie Harding
photo by men.com

 

Scotty also took on the role of Craft Services for the shoot. Given that we are all friends (the production crew included), Scotty went out and bought fried chicken, potato salad, wrap sandwiches and sodas for everyone before they arrived.  Needless to say we appreciated the food and drink and it made the entire day like a big picnic!

 

During the shoot, our two dogs got out and ran away!  That’s right, our two dogs somehow made it out the back door, through the fence around our patio and took off down the road.  Scotty, after filming his portion of the scene, discovered the jail breakers had run, and spent the next two hours driving around the neighborhood looking for them.  Don’t worry folks, he found them safe and sound…2 miles away from our condo!

 

This was the first time Scotty had ever seen me perform on set.  While Scotty has gone on multiple trips with me when I was shooting, and been to many of the studios, he had never actually been there live while I was filming.  At one point while Colby is inside me, plowing away, I glanced over and there’s Scotty just off set in the bedroom doorway rubbing his… well, needless to say I think the scene turned him on!

Charlie Harding
photo by men.com

Filed Under: LGBT, LIFESTYLE Tagged With: bottom, charlie harding, colby jansen, gay, men.com, porn, scotty rage, top

PORN STAR – Bareback or condoms? (my thoughts and an announcement)

by Charlie Harding

Charlie Harding

Charlie Harding

In the past couple weeks, the controversy over bareback porn reared its head again.  The announcement by Lucas Entertainment that they were starting a bareback line of films (after many years of intense criticism of performers who bareback and studios who filmed it) seemed to be the spark that reignited that controversial fire.  The announcement that Porn Superstar Trenton Ducati had been signed as their first bareback exclusive star added to the chatter… both positive and negative.

My first point is about bareback versus condom porn in general.  I find it interesting that we only find condom-less porn as being taboo in the gay porn culture.  The majority of straight porn has been bareback for years, and with much less talk and scorn for its stars.  Bareback straight porn is the norm, and no one seems to question that.  In the gay world, after our ranks were decimated by HIV/AIDS in the past decades, we developed an extreme sensitivity to illness exposure and for some reason it was deemed that porn should be forced to carry the burden of being the role model for gay sex.   While I understand that porn has an opportunity to teach a lesson, we need to remember that’s not the main reason it exists.  PORN IS CREATED TO ENTERTAIN AND PROVIDE A FANTASY, not necessarily as a tool for social activism.

The next point on which I pondered after Trenton’s recent move to bareback porn, has to do with public disclosure of a porn star’s HIV status. Trenton talked about making responsible, informed decisions as to who he will or won’t film with, and caught a lot of negative comments with his first bareback flip-flop scene partner choice of Blue Bailey.  As I read through the public comments section of one of the porn blogs that talked about the scene, the commenters spouted mostly gossip, rumor and shock.  Many of the folks were making huge assumptions and leaps calling Trenton HIV positive simply because he shot bareback porn, or because of who he chose to shoot with.  My point?  Unless you are actually having sex with him, his status whether negative or positive, does not directly concern you. Each of us in the industry make informed decisions as to what risks we are willing to take, and act accordingly. A performer’s HIV status is no one’s business except their own and their sex partners both in front of and behind the camera.  Again, PORN IS A FANTASY created to entertain, so as long as you enjoy seeing the activities on-screen, then it is serving its purpose.

My third point is this.  If bareback porn offends you, DON’T WATCH IT.  Here’s another example… While country music isn’t something I enjoy, I don’t rally against it and try to force others not to listen to it.  I just choose to change the station to a different type of music.  As a consumer, that’s what we can do. Watch what you enjoy, and ignore the rest. But it is not your right to force me to only watch what YOU think is appropriate.  I’m not going to limit your choices, so don’t try to limit mine.

photo by Barry Noland
photo by Barry Noland

My final announcement and point is that I am now also filming both condom and bareback porn.  As this article is being published, I am actually on set filming a bareback scene with my special buddy Mike Dozer (@mikedozerxxx).  He and I have an amazing chemistry, enjoy each other immensely on and off the set and wanted to take our connection and put it on film.  Does me shooting bareback mean that my HIV status will be questioned? YES, unfortunately it will.  I can say that I just tested again 7 days ago for a shoot I have in a week with a condom using studio, and I am still HIV negative, not that its anyone’s business but mine and my sex partners.  Am I being irresponsible by choosing to film bareback? No, I am choosing based on my own research and the information I have, to do something that I WANT TO DO with scene partners that I WANT TO DO. I am continuing as I always have to take whatever level of risk (or lack thereof) I am comfortable with, and producing FANTASY material for the public to enjoy.  I am not attempting to convince everyone to have bareback sex, and I am not saying anyone else should stop using condoms. Will I have people angry and upset that I am choosing to film bareback as well as condom porn now?  OF COURSE I WILL. And I tell those folks this: Watch what you want to watch, just like I will film what I want to film.  There’s enough porn out there for everyone!

Filed Under: BREAKING NEWS, ENTERTAINMENT, LGBT, LIFESTYLE, OPINION Tagged With: bareback, bottom, charlie harding, condom, mike dozer, porn, scotty rage, sex, top, trenton ducati

Are You Skipping Ender’s Game- An Interview With Geeks Out

by David Baxter

Skip-Enders-GameTomorrow, or tonight at midnight, if you’re that big a fan, the movie of “Ender’s Game” will come out. What you might not know is that there has been a grassroots movement, spearheaded by the folks at Geeks Out, to “Skip Ender’s Game.” I know a lot of people who have had questions and concerns about the reasons to boycott the movie, along with people who have no idea why anyone should boycott the movie. So, I sat down with one of the founding members of Geeks Out for a chat about the movie and the boycott. [Read more…] about Are You Skipping Ender’s Game- An Interview With Geeks Out

Filed Under: ENTERTAINMENT, LGBT, MOVIES Tagged With: geeks out, movies, science fiction, skip enders game, young adult

Adonis Lounge’s 4th Anniversary October 25th & 26th!

by Ryan Shea

Credit to: Adonis Lounge
Credit to: Adonis Lounge

As someone who has been in the gay culture of Manhattan for quite some time now, I have seen several businesses come and go but never really gain any traction in the ever changing gay scene. Adonis Lounge is not one of them.  In fact, it has become a gay institution here that started merely with an idea that gained and grew over the years.  Owner Tim De Itturiaga who I have had the pleasure of not only meeting but becoming very good friends with, has mastered the art of bringing fans back by having top of the line guys available at their disposal for anything from a friendly conversation to a private dance.  Now there is much reason to celebrate as Adonis Lounge is celebrating it’s fourth anniversary this weekend and they are planning on making it one of their best (if not their best) weekends yet.

2097_1370347121

The weekend actually begins a day earlier (Saturday is their usual day) with a special added performance for one night only at Lucky Cheng’s on 240 West 52nd Street.  After that is when the real anniversary party begins the next night at Club Evolve (221 East 58th Street, between 2nd and 3rd) where Adonis is always held.  They have two huge headliners that many a gay man should be familiar with.  One is Randy Blue mainstay Sean Zevron and Dominic Ford exclusive Lance Luciano, both who are guaranteed to get the crowd’s hearts racing amongst other things.  Giggity.

Credit to: Adonis Lounge
Credit to: Adonis Lounge

They are also flying in people for this special night, including five premiere models from Las Vegas as well as some of their most popular NYC regulars all guaranteed for you and your friends to have one hell of a night.  Adonis Lounge over the past couple of years has played host to some of the biggest names in the business from Samuel Colt, Jason Adonis and Jesse Santana to name a few.  It provides a welcoming and safe environment to many and its business has now gone bi-coastal with the recent opening of its Los Angeles location.  So if you are in the NYC area this weekend and want to do something that is a little different but good fun at the same time, stop on down to Adonis Lounge and have a good time.  Check out their official website for more information.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: LGBT Tagged With: Adonis Lounge

Lights, Camera, and a Golden Chariot to the Bronx

by Walter Reed

Miss America

The boogie down Bronx got the party started well after dark. Perhaps it was the proximity of apartment buildings that line the Grand Concourse, a street name that suffered from delusions of grandeur. However, my Grindr application kept me distracted while Tiny entertained his guests behind a closed door.

We arrived by taxi to an eclectic neighborhood. Tiny was formidable, at 7ft tall in heels. He was brought down to earth when he pulled his dress up and started peeing in the middle of the street. The inevitable pit stop concluded after a long night of binge drinking at Secrets, where I told Miss America to not let those hoes hate on her. How classy and delightful! She laughed and I bought another cocktail.

I accompanied Tiny to the Bronx, because the trek to Brooklyn was endless. So, there we were walking, until we ran into his husband, who was heading out to start his shift at some fast food institution. However, I had no idea that was license for Tiny to start his shift as well. Who had time to do hair when you can suck and go for ten minutes per session? You don’t even have to go to college to learn that. It’s a trade he picked up at night school on the corner of Teen Pregnancy and Abortion.

Four guys and four hours later, his blond mane and smeared make-up made him look exhausted. His night time drag was show time for his sex sessions. Drag is the thing when dealing with sex zombies in the neighborhood. He handled the men one at a time like a self-checkout line—CVS style. No CVS card required. One more guy probably would have gotten us free burgers and fries.

Instead he charged $20 for each joyride, whether the client got off or not. Apparently, they had 15 minutes to reach their euphoric destination. You can tell, which ones did based upon their facial expressions when they left the room.

“You going to do me like that,” he said. “I’m a good customer.”

Tiny dismissed him and brought the next one in. Survey says out of the four candidates, two smiles, a frown, and a blank expression equipped with a limp were recorded. The findings were inclusive.

As the sun soared, I began to reflect on the events that transpired, until Tiny appeared at the entrance of his doorway, naked with two hands covering his Yankee doodle. Was the gateway to $20 happy meals opening up for me? Some portals should remain closed, and luckily for me it did.

“At $20 a pop, does that make me a prostitute?” Tiny asked. “Well, I don’t care. I made my cab money back.”

I shrugged my shoulders and took another sip of wine. I couldn’t handle hard news before noon.

Filed Under: LGBT, LIFESTYLE, NEW YORK Tagged With: Miss America, prostitution, relationshiops, sex, The Bronx

PORN STAR – a journey [SPECIAL REPORT, HIV AND STI’S]

by Charlie Harding

MY THOUGHTS ON THE RECENT HIV OUTBREAK IN THE PORN INDUSTRY

I know many of you were looking for part 3 in my Porn Star series, but given the recent issues in the industry, I think this week it makes more sense for me to address it and weigh in on it all.

To recap, there have been four performers in the industry who recently tested positive for HIV.  Rod Daily, his girlfriend Cameron Bay and Patrick Stone have all come forward publicly with their diagnoses. A fourth has chosen to remain anonymous, but recently participated in a news conference last Wednesday, via phone.  According to Stone, his test may be a false positive, and he is waiting to confirm his status. The fourth performer stated during the conference that he had tested negative and was cleared to perform in scenes just two weeks prior to his now positive diagnosis.

So here’s the deal.  HIV is obviously a risk when working in the porn industry.  The question becomes what to do about it, and how to protect the performers.  I’m going to talk specifically about the gay porn world, as it has a different “set of rules” than the straight world, with the majority of the gay studios requiring condom use. I’m also eliminating bareback studios from my discussion, as they as well have established their own requirements as to what performers they use and the risks involved.

TRUTH #1 ONLY A HANDFUL OF STUDIOS ACTUALLY REQUIRE PERFORMERS TO TEST FOR STI’S OR HIV.

With all the focus on these four performers and their recent infections, most folks don’t realize that the MAJORITY of performers work for studios that use condoms, and because they film safer sex, don’t require testing.  The only reason we have heard about the recent performer infections is because they all worked with studios that required testing.  I have worked with 4 studios total during my year and a half career, and one of the four required me to test and submit results for approval before filming.  Now don’t get me wrong, the other three studios have very specific policies set forth stating that if a performer would like their scene partner to be tested prior to filming all you have to do is request it.  This allows the performer to set the level of risk he is willing to accept, and act accordingly.  During my 20+ scenes and estimated 30 scene partners, the majority have been with a testing studio, but I never have requested tests from my other scene partners. I did my research, decided what would work best for me, and did what I was comfortable with.  I own my level of responsibility and the risks I am willing to take.

TRUTH #2 THERE ARE MANY PERFORMERS IN THE GAY PORN INDUSTRY THAT ARE HIV POSITIVE.

If you read the recent interview on manhattandigest.com with me and my poz/undetectable partner, Scotty Rage, you know that I am a very HIV neutral person in my daily life.  That being said, I was never concerned about working with HIV positive performers.  I always walk into every scene ASSUMING everyone is HIV positive, and only do what I’m comfortable with.  Given that I have a high risk of infection with my career, I have also gotten on TRUVADA as a PrEP program.  Don’t know what that is?  You should!  Google it and learn about another level of protection you can offer yourself if you are HIV negative.  I’m not here to out performers are positive, as to me it’s a non-issue, but I will say that I know for a fact that at least 4 of the guys I’ve had sex with were all HIV positive. I know because they all disclosed it to me during conversation (not through second hand knowledge) and I wouldn’t be shocked if there are more as well.  Let’s be realistic and blunt here for a second… in “real life” there are HIV positive people in every social situation or friend group in which you participate, the adult industry is no different. Unfortunately, within the industry and today’s society, someone’s public disclosure of their HIV status can be a career killer, as the general public doesn’t want to know about the performers  “dirty little secret.”

TRUTH #3 IF YOU WORK IN PORN, YOU WILL PROBABLY BE EXPOSED TO STI’S AND HIV NO MATTER HOW OFTEN PERFORMERS TEST.

It is a well-known fact that HIV antibody tests have a “window” of about 2 months prior to the test date in which someone can seroconvert to positive, but still show up with a negative test. It all depends on how quickly your body produces the antibodies that react to the viral protein.  Therefore, someone can claim to be negative, and actually have the active virus in their system.  This is how you can have a performer test negative one time and then a couple weeks later test positive.  The infection could have occurred during the two week window, or it could have occurred earlier, but no antibodies had been produced in the body before the first test.  I have always said when I disclose me status that I “tested negative as of [insert date],” rather than claiming HIV negative status.  You really can’t guarantee that you are negative if you are sexually active within a few months prior or after your test.  Again, this is why all performers should decide what they are willing to do and what level of risk they are willing to assume, and stick to it! Another reality: porn performers have sex with other people outside of filming.  Thus we can all be exposed to things that we bring back to set.  Given that a multitude of performers also escort, their level of exposure grows with every additional time they have sex. Something else to think about:  Just because a performer uses condoms on set, doesn’t mean they do in their personal life… Just like the fact that “regular folks” who claim to only perform “safer sex” don’t always do it.

TRUTH #4 THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND CONSUMERS DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIV AND THEIR FAVORITE PERFORMERS.

Porn is a fantasy.  Scenes are put together and edited to provide a seamless experience for the consumer and the hottest visuals possible.  Ever noticed the “magic pants” (when a performer pulls his pants down for oral or rimming and then magically they disappear… there’s just no sexy way to take off pants over boots or sneakers!)? Consumers don’t want to think about STI’s and HIV and dirty bottoms and the non-sexy things that can be associated with sex.  Buyers pay for a FANTASY, not a reality.  So performers being too open about their real lives lose a bit of their Idol or Star status and more often than not end up disappearing.  Just like no one wants to know about their famous mainstream movie stars using the bathroom or popping pimples, no one wants to hear the day-to-day drama that porn stars also face, sometimes as a result of their involvement in the industry.

SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? WHO NEEDS TO BE RESPONSIBLE?

The answer? I have no exact idea.  All I can do is speak to how I handle it and how I set myself up to be comfortable with what I do.  I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE ELSE TO PROTECT ME. Performers that count on scene partner testing to protect them are living in the same fantasy world as every day folks that believe it when someone claims to be negative in a bar or online.

I test regularly no matter if I’m working with a studio that requires it or not.  I got on meds to limit my risk. I educated myself as to what HIV positive means, what undetectable means, how STI’s and HIV can be passed on and how they are treated.  I determined the specific risks I am comfortable with on set, and a specific level of risk I am comfortable with in my personal life, and I stick to that. BASICALLY, I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT MYSELF.

Filed Under: BREAKING NEWS, HEALTH, LGBT, LIFESTYLE, MOVIES, OPINION, uncategorized Tagged With: adult, condoms, films, hiv, porn, risks, STI, testing

PORN STAR – a journey (part 2, the first scene!): by Charlie Harding

by Charlie Harding

photo credit Falcon Studios
photo credit Falcon Studios

 

So in the last article I started telling everyone about how I got my start as an adult film star.  This article I’m going to tell you about my first time on set, and a little about the behind the scenes process we go through to shoot a scene…  Here we go…

As I mentioned in the last article, my first two scenes were with Raging Stallion / Falcon.  I have to say I was nervous when I showed up, but was in awe of how professional and impressive their studio was.  Walking in, it was a beautiful industrial loft style office with cubicles and conference tables… not at all the expected “hyper-sexual” environment most folks would expect.  We did all our paperwork and contract signing, I met with Tony DiMarco the director and the crew for the shoot, and was taken upstairs to the studio.  It was a really neat space, broken out into a couple different rooms with multiple stage set ups for upcoming scene shoots.

I met my scene partner, Johnny Ryder and was a little intimidated by his amazing abs! We walked through the set together, talked a little about ourselves.  He’d filmed a couple scenes before but hadn’t done anything in the past couple years, so I felt a little less nervous knowing he was also relatively new to it all.  Now here’s the part many folks don’t realize about porn.  Every position, activity and interaction that shows up on film is blocked just like in a mainstream movie or stage production. So our next step was to do just that with Tony.  We talked about sexual positions that would work (as Johnny was a little taller than me) with the white bench we were using as a prop, costuming and wardrobe and the story line that went along with the scene.  All of this made it tremendously easier to relax as I now knew exactly what all was to be expected. So then we were ready to go.

We started out with kissing and groping, which was a lot of fun, as Johnny is a great kisser! We then moved on into the hot and heavy sex, filming oral, rimming and then the actual penetration.  The scene was really hot, and I can say my best memory from it was me rimming Johnny while he squatted down on my face off the edge of the bench (a photo of me with my tongue buried in his butt is on the back cover of the DVD).  Funny side note, that bench was NOT the sturdiest of structures and we had a hard time almost knocking it over a couple times with our overzealous humping! And so about four and a half hours of filming we finished up with orgasms, and BAM! I had shot my first adult film scene.  To be honest the process was a lot of fun, and pretty much what I expected. The entire team involved made the process really easy and I came away feeling excited about my new career choice.

I know some folks come away with horror stories of being taken advantage of, or being made to do things they didn’t want to, but I didn’t have any of that occur.  Firstly, because Falcon and Raging Stallion studios are extremely professional in their processes, and secondly because I asked a ton of questions up front when we were discussing contracts so EVERYTHING had been disclosed or negotiated and pre-arranged to make everyone more comfortable.

So I walked away with a nice check for that day, and a good first experience. That was the first of two scenes I was shooting that trip, so I had a day off in between to explore San Francisco and then was back at it again, this time with super hottie Dylan Roberts! (Stay tuned for Part 3!)

Filed Under: LGBT, LIFESTYLE Tagged With: adult film, charlie harding, journey, life, porn, star

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