Roopbaan! Bangladesh’s first and only LGBTI magazine! Roopbaan essentially translates into “A Fabulous Person”, and its time for Bangladesh’s LGBTI population to speak out about how fabulous they are and how fabulous their love is. The core theme is LOVE and the magazine is named after a famous Bengali folk character who symbolizes the power of love. A poignant choice as the power of love can conquer prejudice and oppression which many LGBTI people face in their daily lives to varying degrees of severity. The publication is aimed on the community level in the hope to expose love in all its glory and joy, and to ‘normalize’ LGBTI love in the area. It can be said the magazine itself is a labor of love as it involves the input from volunteer contributors, including articles, photography and personal accounts from members of the LGBTI community. [Read more…] about Roopbaan! The Right to Love!
love
100% Sexy: When Pride Becomes a Fashion Statement
What do I love so much about 100%G?
Ever since I’d first heard about it, I had been trying to find the answer to that question. I met Peruvian photographer César Mansilla Sialer on a photo shoot for a swimwear campaign I was modeling for, and he was, as I like to say, the answer to all questions, so we stayed friends. It was César who first hipped me to 100%G (or OHP), a designer from his hometown of Lima.
Its design concept was straightforward. Skillfully cut, limited edition T-shirts made from soft, Peruvian cotton with simple words printed on the front.
Its online presence [NSFW] and marketing were equally straightforward. Witty and irreverent posts about boys, sex, and fun, pics of guys around the world sporting their gear, and campaigns that had a raw, DIY quality, like stealthy captures of those genuine, private moments, of modeling a new favorite outfit or dancing with total abandon in front of the mirror before a night out on the town (you know you do it too). Still, there was something more that drew me in.
It certainly helped that the face of its campaign was my old friend Tom Middleton, one of the former stars of Fuerza Bruta and current cast member of Hombre Vertiente. Tom’s devastatingly handsome looks, radiant smile, and tangible kindness made the shots effortlessly steamy.
The fact that the shirts framed the male form perfectly didn’t hurt either. And yet, there was more.
I still hadn’t figured it out, but I knew I had to be in on it, so I reached out to 100%G and ordered a couple of shirts from its latest campaign, “Party Animals.”
As I pulled my new shirts out of their packaging, reveling in the feel of the soft, smooth fabric against my fingers, my eye caught the writing on the inner printed tag: “One Hundred Percent Gay. One Hundred Percent Love.” G is for Gay? Apparently I had missed something key.
I took a look at its website: “Made 100% for the gay community. In Lima, we noticed an absence of trendy, fun, cool clothes made with the gay person in mind. That’s when the idea for 100%G began. We make our shirts using 100% Peruvian gay cotton, some of the best fabric in the world.”
First of all, clap clap clap and snap snap snap for the use of the term “gay cotton.”
But seriously, as I got a glimpse into the thinking behind the brand, everything began to come together for me, and I found my answer.
I love 100%G because it is deliciously sexy. If you know me well, you know that I love sex, not only as a physical act in which to partake (often…very often) but also as an idea. Sex or sexiness for me has to do with a lot more than just naked bodies and dim lighting or indeed marriage and heavy promises. It is a basic energy that courses through all of life, and 100%G taps into that fundamental energy in order to encourage a different kind of (gay) pride, more human, more inclusive, more complex, less complicated.
The irreverence. The unabashed, playful sensuality. The unapologetic attitude, free of rigid definitions and precarious binaries. And the beauty. Real beauty. The kind that comes not just from a pretty face and a hot body, but from an easy smile, a mischievous nature, a relaxed poise. Beauty that isn’t afraid to get messy, silly, or frisky. Beauty that doesn’t take itself too seriously because it knows that it’s here to stay.
100%G says that it is “STRAIGHT FRIENDLY.” Of course it is. Because the sexiness that it ascribes to is the kind that Idris Elba can wear just as easily. Or James Franco. Or Legolas Greenleaf (proud geek here). Or Lupita Nyong’o. Or you. It’s the guys and girls that turn you on, not just with their looks or what they say, but with the titillating ease with which they live in their own space. An uncomplicated confidence that is flexible, free, and universal.
At the base of the blog entries, the campaigns, the aesthetic, and the fashion design is this basic principle. I interviewed 100%G to get a bit more insight into their vision.
Tell me how 100%G began.
OHP was born out of a design project created by El Cartel Design Ghetto, out of a need not only to create a product that was commercially viable but also to communicate an idea. We strive to use skillful design to represent a lifestyle. We want to represent the gay lifestyle in a fun and light way.
Your campaigns and your branding seem to have a very specific intention. What inspires your choices in that regard?
We openly celebrate gay lifestyles and the idea of facing everything with a positive attitude. It has been an interesting task since we are based in Peru, which is a really conservative country. Even so, we’ve been noticing an incredible trend in the country, thousands of guys are coming out of the closet, and we obviously wanted to do what we could to make sure they were well represented.
What does it mean to be sexy?
Sexy is being exactly who you are. It’s being true to yourself in words and actions. It’s being part of a multifaceted, global community. Sexy is being proud of who you are.
Tell me about your current campaign.
Our current campaign is in dialogue with the issues that face our community today. We’re using it to support 100% Equality.
Why Gay Men Love To Hate Muscle Bears (And Hate To Love)
Why Can’t We All Just Get Along (Muscle Included)?
Many of the articles that I write really come from a variety of experiences. Most of the times they are a combination of my own experiences mixed with others to culminate in what I take out of it all and put it in the best way possible so that it sparks a healthy debate between everyone else. Funny thing is with this one, it never really crossed my mind until a recent Facebook post. A good (and very smart) friend of mine put this post up regarding how the bear community views the muscle portion of it and ultimately how it really ultimately reflects on how you yourself are as a person-
“What’s so tragic is watching guys who should have loads of self-respect lost in this self-defeating exercise of defining these “muscle bears” as physically superior and themselves as losers in the same scene, and then blaming these guys they really don’t even know for their mental and spiritual discomfort. There’s a betrayal of something that has always been an awesome option for self-defining as bear, which is to know you’re as hot as you feel you are and not to give a fuck what anyone else might think. It’s the people standing in groups, bitterly dishing the guys they are attracted to who they assume aren’t into them who ruin the atmosphere at bear events, not the guys they point and sneer at.”
This wound up sparking a very long threaded debate on how men, not only in the bear community but in the gay community as a whole, view muscle guys. It really boils down to this- haters are really just haters. Let’s break this situation down, because I have done this somewhat and I know I am not the only one who has been in this corner of somewhat “hate-dom”. This is a random scenario here-
I am at a popular gay bar with a couple of my friends. All of a sudden, a group of muscle bears (or guys, whatever) walk in in an upbeat and happy mode, order drinks and stand around with the impression that they are having a great time. This will then trigger something in my head to think that even if they are having a great time and are laughing and dancing and whatnot, they are still a bunch of royal douchebags. Why? Because in a lot of guys minds, they are insanely insecure when they are around men like that. This is for so many different reasons.
1. They compare body types and feel as if they need to look like them in order to get that attention.
2. Snarl all they want, these guys want the muscle dudes to be attracted to them and if they go in with a defeated or cunty attitude about it, it just worsens the whole process.
3. This will then lead to them having minor chit chat with their other friends about said douchebags, who most of the time are just trying to enjoy themselves and not get into a weird process of guys glaring at them for no reason.
4. Bottom line, its freaking insecurity.
This can also cause a chain reaction of sorts in which I have written about so many freaking times before- separation. Division. Something that the gay community seems to fight against and want so badly to have some sort of unification yet these types of issues are working against that thought. Why do we do this to ourselves? Many times I have been at these bars and have found a swarm of guys who come from all backgrounds of life, be it size, race, finance and so forth all standing around and talking to each other and having a good time. Then again, I have also seen situations where its the Asians in one corner, the black guys playing pool, the white bears all huddled up like they are playing a game of football and the muscle guys who stick with each other for whatever reason need be. In these types of situations, everyone stands shoulder to shoulder but no one engages and keeps to themselves.
But there has to be a reason for this happening, and in my opinion it really can stem from growing up and choosing who you want to hang with on the playground, only this time around there is a lot more body hair and drinks that don’t come in a sippy cup. We might think the other group is weird or we aren’t attracted to them or the new expression of “Aint nobody got time for that”. Time for what? Unless someone provokes you or gives you a reason to not like them, why the hatred? What the hating? Why glare at someone who seems to be having a great night just because you are the one that’s angry? Then again, why be angry? Because in this situation you bring the misery on yourself as a form of self-deprication. I am guilty of it, and many others are. It stops us from really opening our eyes and enjoying what is really great about this community, especially ones who want to go to the big “bear” events and enjoy themselves wholeheartedly and not get mad if a particular group seems to be having a great time and not focusing on you. Really at the end of the day you gotta love yourself before you love anyone else. Am I quoting RuPaul here? Sure. But that line makes fucking perfect sense.
So let’s have this be a lesson to everyone- go out, enjoy YOURSELF, enjoy YOUR TIME, and not focus on the muscle guy in the corner and what they are doing. Better yet? Go up and introduce yourself. You never know what can happen and the positive effect it can have on your life. Cheers, y’all.
The Loss Of Franco Gordon
For those of you who don’t know me, Franco was not a person, he was my dog. For those of you who do know me, you understand why I have not written “The Loss of a Pet”. Franco was so much more than a pet, more than a dog, more than an English Bulldog….he was my best friend
The day I finally got Franco was one of the best days of my life. It was around the end of March in 2012. I wasn’t supposed to get a boy dog. It was by luck that Franco came into my life; the original person who was supposed to have him ended up not getting approved by the breeder. So lucky me I got literally the perfect looking bull dog. He was so handsome, with symmetrical fawn coloring on his face, and a “black mask” around his eyes. The rest of his body was a beautiful mix of both fawn and white.
Franco really was the best puppy. He was so happy, he loved everyone and only minimally tore up our home. But really what he did was bring our family together. My entire families life began to literally revolve around Franco. We coordinated our schedule so we were sure to always have someone home so he didn’t have to be alone (until he got a bit older at least). Once he was big enough he always slept in my bed, and if I couldn’t be home for the night then he would sleep with “Big Mama & Papa” where he would lick everyone to sleep! When we were with friends we were always showing pictures of him like he was a new born baby, because in our eyes he was cuter! He was the center of everyone’s conversation and of course the center of my Facebook News Feed!
Franco became a hit with all of my Facebook friends too. I had people who would tell me that they always looked forward to the “FRANCO PIC OF THE DAY”. He had touched so many lives on the internet it was extraordinary. He came everywhere I was able to take him; pet stores, drug stores, friends houses, car rides, Huntington Village and even Yogurt stores for his favorite taste of Vanilla!
Summer went by, fall breezed through, winter froze us, and then came Spring. He was so excited to be able to go outside and not have his paws freeze. He loved the outdoors and being with his best friend Coco next door. The two would play together out back and I would also pay the kids next door to watch him for an hour so he got some extra play time and the kids got to earn a few bucks. Then one day I got a call. I was out to dinner with a friend, and my neighbors were watching him and Coco. They were enjoying themselves playing in the backyard chewing on bones. Then what happened after was unimaginable. Parts of me are grateful for not being their when it happened, but other parts of me still yearn to say goodbye. Franco began to throw up and become lethargic. My parents were home and they rushed him to the nearby vet with my neighbor (the father) where he didn’t even make the 1 mile drive. He passed away in my neighbors arms, where he took has last breath on this earth.
They only told me on the phone that he wasn’t feeling well and I should come home, but I knew deep down something else was wrong. My instinct told me he was gone, and I can’t explain to you why I knew, but I did. I came home and my mother, father and grandfather were in the driveway all crying; when they told me I fell to the floor and couldn’t bring myself to arise to my feet. I was assisted back inside where I cried and screamed and couldn’t hold it together. Shortly after we got a call from the vet. While being in such pain we were baffled at what happened. He was a healthy young pup who had years ahead of him. The vet examined him and found that he had gotten stung several times by a Wasp in the mouth. He had found an abscess the size of a plum in his throat. This not only caused him to not be able to breath, but went into anaphylactic shock.
I was crying, screaming, lifeless and hurting for over a week. Such sorrow had taken over my soul that I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I was lucky I could shower but fell to the floor every time to cry for over an hour because I was not able to keep it together. Everything that my life had pivoted on for the past year was taken away from me. It was my first glimpse at what it really feels like to take care of something and love something. Not only did I have such strong feelings for Franco but he loved me and relied on me unconditionally. Flowers, food, memorials, and love poured in from friends and family. It showed me how much Franco really affected other people’s lives too.
My parents were due to go to Florida on a business trip that next week and I couldn’t bear to not be with them, so they took not only me and my grandfather with them. We were all able to be there together and support one another and have time to reflect on Franco and his life. I still cried every day and missed him but it slowly began to get easier to cope with. I met with my breeder a few days after it all happened. She wanted me to come by and see his sister and parents, hoping it would cheer me up. Not only were they there but so were a new litter of 5 week old puppies. Technically, these puppies are Franco’s nieces and nephews. I held these pups and dogs like I never wanted to let him go, because at that moment I didn’t. I was still clinging onto anything that had to do with Franco and keep myself connected.
A few days later my Breeder called me and said that one of the pups became available. When I had seen her they were all spoken for, but similarly with Franco, the potential owner was not approved. She said that even though I wasn’t asking for a dog, she thought it may be the best thing for me. I was torn, I didn’t want to replace Franco, but the idea of being able to share all of my love with another dog was appealing. We had a family talk over the next week and decided to take in a new dog. I will tell you now that this was the best thing for me and my family. This is not the best choice for everyone though. Heed my warnings though, if you go through the loss of a family pet, make sure you are going to be able to love the next just as much. Give yourself time to mourn if you need to.
We are now lucky to have Augie in our lives. Augie is now one of the family, as he was the moment he stepped into our home. He is completely different than Franco, both in looks and personality. He is an all white dog, with light spots all over his body. He is going to be larger in size and surely more stubborn! But he is just as sweet and has similar quirks that Franco had too. Franco will never be replaced but rather remembered in our hearts forever. He will always be my first love and I know that he still watches over me. “No longer by my side, but FOREVER in my heart.”
Charlie & Scotty- How an HIV Positive & Negative guy can find love
Love comes in all kinds of shapes, sizes, ways and conditions. Yet if you are open, mature and strong enough you can look past what some others can’t and get to know your significant other as the one you love rather than the one that you see with so many red flags. This is the case with my two good friends Scotty Rage and Charlie Harding. I met Charlie a couple of months back at the Black Party Expo here in New York City. It was a quick exchange, but we started talking on Facebook and texting and I truly got to know him and what a fantastic guy he was and is.
Then I got to know Scotty, his partner, who just happens to be open about his HIV status. He is positive, Charlie is negative. This is something that quite frankly is taboo in the gay culture in that many men who are negative fear dating a man who is HIV positive for the obvious reasons (infection, health problems) and going beyond that (social stigma, embarrassment). What Scotty and Charlie want is for people to understand this disease and the risks of it, but at the core of it if you love someone you can be there for them and help them along the way without judgement. I sat down with them last week to discuss how they met, when Scottie was open about his status and ultimately what they are hopeful for with each other and the rest of their lives. Take a look.
How did you two meet?
Charlie- Actually an ex of mine that I had lost touch with for years said hi to me on Facebook. After chatting with him and becoming friends again, he suggested that I be-friend Scotty on Facebook. I did, Scotty and I started chatting and direct messaging and then that led to texting, and then a few phone calls and things progressed to where we became long-distance best friends. I was actually still in a past relationship that ended up to be very toxic and tragic, and Scotty was my confidant and shoulder to cry on when that one went bad. We were actually friends that had never met in person for the first almost 2 1/2 years that we knew each other.
Scotty- And once Charlie’s relationship had been over for about six months, I went out to visit him in Nashville. It was the first time we met in person, there were strong feelings for each other, and affection that led to sex and it just kept growing. A couple weeks later he came down to visit me in Atlanta and spent a few days. The visit went amazingly well, and we realized that we really, really, really liked each other. He went back to Nashville and a couple weeks later said he wanted to move out of Nashville maybe to Atlanta.
Charlie- Yep! So I packed everything up that I had in Nashville, and after working a bartending shift one night took off and drove to Atlanta, I moved in with Scotty. Literally the third time we met in person we shacked up together!
Scotty- Well actually, I suckered him into moving down to Atlanta and in with me under the pretense that he would be able to go find his own apartment. But once he moved in I wouldn’t let him leave!
Charlie- I didn’t want to…
What made you fall for each other?
Scotty- Charlie’s a hottie obviously, but he has an amazing aura about him. He is super intelligent, dynamic, extremely openhearted and genuine, and once he lets his guard down, he’s also very vulnerable and sensitive.
Charlie- Awe… Now he’s making me blush. For me Scotty was a breath of fresh air. He is one of the most energetic, positive thinking, happy to please and open minded people I’ve ever met in my life. Our personalities just meshed very easily, and the communication channels were so open that we felt like we could talk about anything.
How soon in the relationship did you tell Charlie about your HIV Status?
Scotty- To be honest I don’t remember exactly, but I know it was something that we discussed very early in the friendship stages. As we were introducing ourselves to each other via Facebook and texting.
Charlie- Yeah, I think it was within the first few weeks when we were kind of running through personal histories, and what we’ve done in our lives, challenges we faced and dreams of the future I think it came up in conversation. It wasn’t one of those big dramatic moments of disclosure that so many people it needs to be.
Charlie- Had you dated a guy who was poz before hand? If so, what was the experience like? If not, were you apprehensive?
Charlie- Not that I’m aware of. I mean, I’ve had lots of friends who are HIV-positive and I’m sure some sexual partners in there that were as well, whether they disclosed it correctly or not. But I didn’t really think of it as a concern when we realized we were going to start dating. It was just something else to educate myself on so that we could do what was appropriate. We discussed his medications, how long he had been undetectable, and I did tons of research as to what the risk factors of being with someone both sexually and just in your daily lives were. As an HIV negative person, I wanted to try to gain the best understanding I could of his situation, so that fear or ignorance wouldn’t be an issue in our relationship.
Scotty- We talked about it I remember, but like everything else that we talked about it was just open communication and discussion. It was never brought up as an ending factor for the potential relationship, or something big and dramatic. It was just another thing that added to the facets of our relationship and dynamic.
For both- What has been the challenges in the relationship that one is poz and one is negative?
Scotty- Well being the one who is HIV-positive, my concern is obviously to keep myself healthy, and protect the health of my partner. There’s always that chance even though I’ve been undetectable for 14 years, that I could infect him. So we discussed it, take the risks that were comfortable with, and go in with an understanding that it is extremely unlikely, but possible.
Charlie- The key thing for me was to be educated on what HIV-positive, undetectable means. That eliminates the big scary fear and reduces it to just a medical condition that needs to be dealt with.
Scotty- Have you dealt with any judgment from the gay community regarding your status and if so how do you deal with that?
Scotty- The gay community just like all of society is a big mix of people. Some are open-minded and willing to educate themselves on issues before forming opinions and others not so much. So of course certain people have judged or negatively responded when they find out that I’m HIV-positive, but the majority of folks out there it’s a non- issue. Let’s put it this way: if someone being HIV-positive would be a factor in your decision to be friends with that person, chances are we wouldn’t get along. From a sexual side, there are definitely folks who are not comfortable “hooking up” with somebody who is HIV-positive. And that’s ok. While it hurts to know that folks still feel that way, I would never ask someone to do something they were uncomfortable with. So you learn to work around it.
Charlie- Same question as Scotty.
Charlie- Well given my adult film work, one of the most surprising things that I found out was that a lot of folks assumed that I was HIV-positive. I had actually heard jokes saying “aren’t all porn guys Poz?” So I felt some negativity in that respect. Further being an HIV negative person who is coupled with an HIV-positive person opens up other questions in certain peoples minds. Some of the more close minded folks, for example those typically less educated on the subject of HIV and what undetectable means, asked me if I was a bug chaser. Evidently some folks can’t believe that you can love somebody for being themselves and not let an illness get in the way? But right now I will officially go on the record and say, “I am an HIV negative man who is in love with an HIV-positive man, I’m not with him because he’s positive, I’m with him because he’s the most amazing and loving person I have ever met. His poz-undetectable status is just one small part of the whole human being.”
Scottie, Being Poz yourself, what is your opinion with the prevalence of barebacking in the porn industry and outside of it?
Scotty- That seems to be a big discussion in the adult film industry right now: the use of condoms or the lack there of. I think the thing to remember when watching porn is that this is a fantasy. Porn scenes, television shows, movies and even fiction writing all portray fantasies. These are all ways to escape the reality situation that we live in. So what you see, hear and read are not set up to be realistic in your real life. Anyone who would watch porn, and then use those scenes as a comparable for real-life sexual situations is being unrealistic.
Charlie- Bareback sex versus condom sex is a very personal decision. From a professional standpoint performers have to decide what they want to portray on film, and what they’re comfortable with doing publicly. In your personal life it’s the same scenario. You weigh out your risk factors and act in a manner that is acceptable to you. My place is to decide what works for me, Scotty and I should decide what works for us. What everyone else does, is none of our damn business.
For both- What is the biggest misconception with men who are poz?
Charlie- I want to answer this two ways. I think the biggest misconception that I see that HIV-positive men have of themselves is that they’re somehow tarnished or broken. The other big misconception that I see in the general population is that HIV-positive men are all irresponsible. I know plenty of people who contracted HIV who were not drug users, who were not wild party people and who were not overly sexually promiscuous. HIV can affect everyone.
Scotty- I agree with what Charlie said on both fronts. When you poz your reality changes, and you question yourself worth. It takes a while to adjust and adapt to the fact that you have something that a lot of the world sees as an extremely negative illness. I also agree that a big misconception is that only the slutty, party guys are at risk.
For both- What does the future hold for the both of you?
Scotty- What were planning on getting married in the next six months, we have plans to retire to Florida at some point in the future and there’s been talk about possibly having a baby…
Charlie- Yeah I would like to actually have a child that’s my genetics. So it’s surrogate an artificial insemination maybe in our future! The main thing would be just looking forward to experiencing everything we can, live your lives to the fullest together, and hopefully celebrating the day when some one HIV status won’t be an issue because HIV will be no more.
For both- What advice would you give to some of the younger men out there who have an active sex life?
Scotty- Be smart about your decisions, be smart about your partners But don’t be scared to enjoy yourself.
Charlie- Educate, educate, educate! If there’s something you don’t understand about HIV or what undetectable means, research it. Give yourself every bit of information that you can before you start making decisions as to what you are comfortable with doing. Talk to your doctor, talk to your friends and talk to your local Community centers and HIV outreach groups. You’ll find that you’ll get a lot of differing opinions, and different information. So what you have to do is wade through it all and decide what you think fits your situation the best. For example your read studies that were done in the US that say Truvada as a preventative for HIV HAS a 40 to 70% effectiveness rate, then you’ll read about a study that was done in Europe which claims a 99% effectiveness rate. Just like with anything else review it all and form your own opinions. Don’t do things you’re not comfortable with. Don’t be afraid of HIV simply because you don’t understand.
Love these two for how open and truly amazing they are. Want to know more about these guys? Check out Charlie’s FB page as well as Scotty’s which also details everything they have in the works for their booming business life. Everyone that reads this- learn from it, don’t judge it. Be mature and get to understand your surroundings.
Also check out:
Charles World Apparel!!! AWESOME STUFF!
Chatty Talk with Elise
Happy Tuesday, ya’ll! Let’s get started with the romantic news I’m dying to share with everyone!
Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul wed longtime love Lauren Parsekian at Alimigo’s Ranch in Malibu on Sunday and goodness, could they look more romantic?? Just look at this picture, swoon!
- Cobra Starship’s Gabe Saporta married designer beauty Erin Fetherson at the St. Nicholas Abbey plantation in Barbados, where he also popped the question New Years Eve. What a lovely way to begin the rest of your lives together? I can’t wait for the first pictures of their wedding to be released! Though if you can’t wait, here’s a picture of the gorgeous duo.. Looking remarkable, per usual!
credit: glamour.com
Open relationships- for some, never for me
I can already tell I am going to get a lot of shit for writing this story, but really it is a very controversial topic in todays society, and I am not even talking about in the gay world either. The growing trend of an open relationship seems to be getting bigger and bigger as the years go by, and my thought in all of this is have we lost the art of the traditional relationship? What do I mean by that? I mean by one where each partner is faithful, that they are happy being in an emotionally and physically monogamous relationship without having to succumb to the outside pressures of sex and cheating.
I personally have several friends who happen to be in open relationships, and to which I say if it works for them, then that’s great. I am not them, so who am I to judge? This article really is not one on judging or feeling like I am better than them because of my viewpoint. I have been in three relationships my entire life. All of them I have been faithful, and as far as I am concerned so has my partner at that point. When we both made the decision to be a couple, not once did it cross my mind to think of cheating on him in the duration of when I was with him. When i say “I Love You”, it means that I am not going to go astray and find another guy to fulfill my needs emotionally or sexually. THAT’S JUST ME.
I have been approached, both in person and online, by several men who are in “open relationships”. A couple of weeks ago I was at a party where the majority of the men there were in fact coupled. There was one guy in particular who took a liking to me, as I did him. We talked for a while and started making out, but for some reason I felt an eye on us the whole time. When I opened my eyes it was this random dude staring what I thought to be daggers at me. I stopped, asked the guy who he was, and he said “oh yeah, that’s my boyfriend”. I didn’t know how to feel at that point. My whole thought process was that the guy liked me and was into me, and then I am viewed as the evil troll or something. Really its quite frustrating.
For me, I want someone to myself, and not to feel like I have to share them or something. As funny as it sounds, I don’t feel like being someone’s “guest star” in their relationship. I want to be the series regular that gets renewed every fall season. Corny, yes. Honest, yes. My whole thought process if I was in an open relationship is that if I know he’s out there finding something else, what I am doing wrong that is making it OK for that in fact to happen? As stated before, everyone has their own way of going through love and what they do, and I am not here to judge that. I am just stating these things based on my experience so far.
Comments are gladly accepted, and I would love to know your viewpoints. However, don’t condemn me for what I wrote. We all have our opinions.