Well, it’s RuPaul’s Drag Race time again!! Are you ready?! So, this has been broken up into two parts. Seven queens in one episode, seven in another, and two get eliminated. Interesting. So, we’re on part 1. RuPaul explains that the winner gets a lot of money and a whole bunch of cosmetics.
The queens come in and yammer at each other. Ru comes in and talks a lot about TV and photo shoots, and introduces to Mike Ruiz. We, as the audience, get introduced to the new pit crew. Never leave me, Sean Morales. We’ve added two new guys, though, who are sponsored by Scruff. You’d never know since there isn’t any hair to be found on any of them.
The first queen comes in. It’s Adore (when I was taking my notes, I kept typing “Adora” because, well, that’s how She-Ra’s name is spelled). She’s got her green wig on, and is ready for anything. Though when Mike asks her to jump off the balcony into the pit of Styrofoam, she pauses for a moment and gets going. First shot isn’t that great with weird leg positions. Mike likes her face, though. BenDeLaCreme is second. We like her, by the way. Mike doesn’t like the faces she’s making. Gia Gunn comes in and can’t figure any of this out. Laganja jumps and has pretty pointed toes that Mike likes. Kelly Mantle is next and isn’t a good jumper and keeps making weird noises.
Afterwards, the queens hang out, taking off their make-up and throwing a bunch of shade. Who’s old, who’s young, who’s on their game, who’s not, all of that stuff. Whatever. Adore has this whole “I’m totally high and unprepared for everything” vibe that’s making it hard for me to like her. RuPaul shows up to announce the photo winner, who is Laganja. The dolls must then follow Ru to the loading dock, where there’s a U-Haul, and Ru is asking if they want to meet the next set of contestants. Inside the U-Haul, however, are not more drag queens, but boxes with TV shows listed on them. The stuff in the boxes needs to be used for outfits, and Laganja gets to assign the queens to a show.
Laganja picks “Dancing with the Stars.” I have no idea why. She gives April “Duck Dynasty,” and I’m assuming this was filmed before the kerfuffle with THAT show. Or maybe not. Gia gets “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” which I read as “Keeping Up Appearances,” which would have been a better choice. Vivacious gets “Game of Thrones.” Adore is given “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” and complains because she wanted “Golden Girls.” I really have no idea why, but I’m also over “Golden Girls” and the gay obsession with it. Kelly Mantle gets “Downton Abbey,” and lastly, BenDeLaCreme gets “Golden Girls.” RuPaul disappears in a puff of “I Dream of Genie” smoke.
Back in the workroom, April hates her box. Adore thinks everything smells. Ru joins with a Here Comes Honey Ru Ru, and we find that Adore was on American Idol, for those of you who care. Adore is passionate about things. And high. Vivacious talks about “Game of Thrones” in a way that shows that she’s never really watched the show. Ru thinks she’s nuts. Kelly reminds Ru of a young Carol Burnett, and Kelly is overjoyed at this comparison. Ru likes her design. April is lost and doesn’t know what to do with her box. Gia is really dumb. We find that Adam Lambert is the guest judge, and Adore is so excited that she glues her dress to the mannequin.
For the runway, RuPaul looks very “Frozen” and Adam Lambert has lost a bunch of weight and looks like a Jonas Brother. Gia starts us off with a stripped clubby number. April does a brown thunderdome thing that reminds me of PhiPhi O’Hara’s first number. Laganja is wearing a lot of black with an ill-fitting silver top. Kelly has a very flowing wrapped number. Adore is giving us a bunch of pastels thrown together. Vivacious has a bunch of feathers and silver lame. Crème comes out in a stunning gown thing and is carrying a cheesecake. Easily the best of the evening.
Gia’s look is simple and flawless, but Michelle doesn’t like the boots with the open leg. Adam doesn’t like her. April changed her idea and is given props for that. Ru doesn’t like the hair. Laganja was tripping on her skirt and the neckline swallows her up. Adam says she needs to be more fishy and I inwardly groan about how let’s not do that this season. Ru thinks there are too many things going on and says that she was the same at a younger age. The judges don’t like Kelly’s outfit. Michelle thinks the top looks like bacon, which is a bad thing, I guess. I love the term “Shake and Go” wig. Mike Ruiz likes her, though. Adore can’t talk and then vomits out some words about an 80’s mermaid prom designed by Heatherette. Ugh. Everyone thinks the outfit is a mess. Vivacious has a distinct NYC ball walk. The hairline was way too low. Everyone was also impressed with Crème’s craftsmanship, since it was hot glued by hand. There’s talk about Crème’s character. I really like her, but since she’s similar in style to Jinkx, I’m a little worried. We’ll see what the rest of the queens do, next week.
Ru announces that she’s not giving immunity this season. Crème wins, and Kelly and Vivacious are up for elimination. The song is Madonna’s “Express Yourself.” It’s lackluster on both ends. Kelly’s doing a stand and pose thing, and Vivacious is pounding around the stage. Let’s just say that, unfortunately, whomever wins, unless they up their game, is probably going to be doing this again really soon. Vivacious stays, which is sad because I’d like to see more of Kelly. But that’s how things fall. Join us next week, for part 2!