Previously, everyone read each other and RuPaul told the queens that there’s a twist. Tatianna and Roxxxy Andrews decided that Coco Montrese was the worst, and so she went home. Until she didn’t. This seems like that one season of The Biggest Loser that I tried to watch where the loser would get one last shot at weight loss, but we’ll see!
In the workroom, Roxxxy has all the feelings. Gurl, we know. You went through this nonsense last week. I’d say it sucks, but as everyone says, this isn’t RuPaul’s Best Friends Race and suck it up. We spend about five minutes of people saying to forget everything you knew because it’s all going to be different from here on in.
This intellectually stimulating conversation is interrupted by RuPaul to announce that we’re doing the Snatch Game earlier this year. This causes a trip down flashback lane as we find out that some queens did well, some were terrible, and some should have gone home on that episode, except someone was even more of a train-wreck. Adore wants to go home, though, and tells RuPaul during their mini chat. RuPaul sets up a heart to heart with Michelle Visage to hash out why Adore isn’t happy. Michelle wears sunglasses the whole time, probably to hide the fact that she’s rolling her eyes throughout the entire exchange. Adore really is going home. I guess this means there will be no double elimination episode? Also, it turns out that Michelle has kids. Who knew? I can’t tell if I’m jealous of those kids or frightened.
Ru continues to talk to the other queens, and, so far, they seem more prepared than in other seasons, and there are almost no record scratch moments, especially if you count that fact that Tatianna seems pretty prepared to do Ariana Grande, even if Ariana Grande isn’t really funny in a ha-ha sort of way. Roxxxy plans on doing Sofia Vergara, which I think will be great, especially after the latest informercial that I’ve seen her in where it looks like the director just told her to be as Abby Lane as possible. But Phi Phi immediately sneaks in to be all “Gurl, I’m scared because your racist caricature of the culture you are from isn’t going to be racist enough” and Roxxxy looks all scared.
The judges of the Snatch Game are going to be Raven and Jujubee, and I feel sorry for them because this is turning out to be so much a better season than theirs. Season 1 of All Stars was robbed, yo. Ginger Minj is Tammy Faye Baker. Alaska is Mae West. Katya is Bjork. Phi Phi is The Long Island Medium. Alyssa is Joan Crawford. Detox is Nancy Grace. Roxxxy Andrews is Alaska. Why? I don’t know. Gurl, if you’re trying to rehabilitate your image into not a bitch, don’t be mean. And that being said, this was probably one of the best Snatch Games this show has ever had. My face hurt from laughing.
The runway category is latex extravaganza, which, OK at least one queen is going to get called out for being basic, and my question is are they told what some of the challenges will be? Cause I overheat in long sleeves, so there’s no way I would EVER wear a latex dress, and this wasn’t a construction challenge. I can’t imagine that everyone had a latex ball gown in their luggage.
Anyway. Alyssa and Ginger are safe. Tatianna breaks down because she knows she could have done better. Katya and Alaska are the winners, and they win Cirque du Soleil tickets, which seems very middle America. Phi Phi is safe, leaving us with Roxxxy, Tati, and Detox in the bottom. The immediate question is “Will Alaska rejoin the bitchy clique she left in her season?” Everyone thinks so, and Roxxxy even makes a comment about “our plan.” Knowing this show, that could mean that they diabolically did something not in front of the camera/edited out, or Roxxxy is reading into things way too much. Katya’s drunk with power. Both queens do some impressive nailography when choosing the lipsticks. The song of the day is La Freak, and Alaska wins. It seems there’s a script since Roxxxy said something similar, but it’s so damn long and sounds way too much like “Two models stand before me” that I’ve glazed over both times. In the end, Tatianna is the shade of lipstick no one wants and she goes home.
Until she doesn’t.
Will RoLaskaTox get back together? Will Phi Phi take everyone else down? Will Michelle Visage’s kids ever be guest judges? Find out next week!