Lady Gaga, Gaga, Drag Race Season 9, RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9, Valentina
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Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race, no one went home and someone came back from a previous episode, and we finally find out that it’s Cynthia Lee Fontaine! Were you surprised? Excited? Bored? Confused? Anyway, it turns out she’s had liver cancer, but is in remission and we get her cucu (sp).

In the workroom, everyone’s confused, and their confusion gets interrupted by RuGram. It’s all sportsball references. This could go a lot of places. Lisa Kudrow joins the workroom, and everyone gags, including Ru, but then Lisa leaves without doing anything and I have no idea why this was even a thing. There’s a bunch of inside jokes that I don’t get. Was this filler? I’m confused.

Anyway, it’s going to be a cheerleading battle, which is better than a group acting challenge. I think. The team captains are Nina Bo’Nina Brown and Cynthia Lee Fontaine. Everyone chooses their teams and Valentina is last. You know, she’s cute without the stupid hat. But the stupid hat. Jaymes is all self concern, which is never a good sign.

The guest judges are the B-52s. The teams are putting their routines together, and there’s some big issues with Jaymes being boring and Alexis being pushy, which is kinda needed in this situation, honestly. The queens go and rehearse their tricks with some young dude in a tight shirt named “Dom.” I’ll bet you are *wink.*

Kimora decides that she’s not going to wear anything under her spanky pants. And in fact, she’s not going to be WEARING spanky pants. She’s also being snotty, since she thinks rhinestones are for ugly girls, and she pays other people to make her outfits.

Meanwhile, Peppermint brings it down to talk about being gay bashed in high school. Everyone cries. Trinity talks to Cynthia about cancer. Everyone cries. Also, Valentina has a votive candle, and I love her just a little bit more.

The opening is a lot more intense, and RuPaul is dressed as a green screen. We get to see the cheerleading challenge, which is a video? And pretty well done. We’ve seen some real shit on this show, and this wasn’t that. The runway is The White Party themed, and everyone comes out in white stuff.

Valentina is the winner (yay!) and Jaymes and Kimora are the bottom two. It’s to Love Shack (because of course it is). Jaymes seems lost. Kimora seems like she doesn’t know what type of song she’s doing, but her lip sync is more on point and she stays. Jaymes sashays away.

Join us next week!!! Who will stay? Who will go? Will there be any fights? So far everyone seems nice, and in the Untucks, everyone’s being really damn nice to each other (which, I like. I wouldn’t mind us being less bitchy to each other). Did Ru make the right choice? Stay tuned!!!