RuPaul’s Drag Race RuCap: Oh No, She Betta Xana-Don’t!!!!

Last time, in a shocking twist that’s only been seen once before, two queens were sent home. Question is… Who is coming back? Shangela for a 4th time? Serena Chacha? Lol. No.

And let’s talk about that for a minute. This seems almost premature. The song was I Will Survive, and the judges spent half the night talking about how THIS is the ultimate lip sync song, and they have a point. So, why waste it on these two? No really. In the third season, we saw Raja and Carmen going head to head to Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” AND Manilla Luzon and Delta Work battling it out to “McArthur Park,” two of the greatest lip syncs we’ve seen on this show. And they weren’t wasted on queens like The Princess or Magnolia Crawford. Not to mention, if we’re bringing back Naysha, who cares? And if it’s bringing someone else into the show… why not start with them? I’m really confused by all this and really let down by Dax. No, really girl. Make the hair classier (like a chignon, or one of those BIG RuPaul styles), and lose the gold underskirt, while making the green skirt with a BIG slit, and you would have looked better. Or, when you get onto Drag Race, and you don’t have a high-glamour gown, you go to your friends and promise to wash their cars for a month so you can borrow a damn dress. I’m SO disappointed in you, right now.

Anyway, after all that, everyone’s all “Who’s it gonna be? Shangela? Porkchop?” I really hope it’s Aubrey O’Day, but that’s just me. Before that, though, the mini-challenge is to spruce up judges’ robes. The queens are given 30 minutes and it shows. Everyone looks like craft hour at the meth clinic. Naomi wins! But since we’re having two teams, we’re bringing Naysha back to be the second team captain!! Who cares!! Robbie says something bitchy. Gurl, you’re on my shit list. Stop being mean. You’re not even good at it. Acid Betty has something to say about everyone. Gurl. Stop being mean. You’re a little too good at it, and it’s pissing everyone off.

The maxi challenge is an over acting group challenge, which makes it, basically, Bob vs Thorgy, while Robbie and Betty try and pretend they are just as good.

Have you ever seen the movie, “Camp”? You know the blonde girl who gets all the sexy leading lady roles, but can’t act? That’s Derrick. If you haven’t, you should go see it. It features a VERY young Anna Kendrick being evil. Cynthia flubs her lines, but everyone else is ok. Except, for some odd reason, Robbie. Someone said that he went to acting school. I mean, that doesn’t make a good actor, but still.

The runway will be done on roller skates. Why? Who knows? At least it’s not random animals.

We interrupt this show to talk about Thorgy dealing with his mother’s death. I really can’t make fun of this. Go hug your loved ones.

You know, Naysha kinda reminds me of much more safe version of Carmen Carrerra. Safe being the operative term. Carmen takes risks. Thorgy channels Chrissy Snow, which some of you will get the reference and some won’t. Derrick is channeling someone other than Britney this week. Tonight, it’s Queen Frostine (I refuse to call her a princess) (some of you will get that reference). Kim’s a parrot. The skates hide her walk. Betty looks like The Starlight Express Beyond Thunderdome. Naomi is giving us the same cut that she has every week. Bob is Tron. All of it. I don’t understand Cynthia’s shorts. Chichi is good but not memorable. Robbie shows off her roller skating skills.

During the videos, Bob and Thorgy SLAYED it. I need a gif of Thorgy hitting Naysha with her fur coat, on “accident.” Bob is in her element, and I expect to see a guest role on Empire. Everyone else ranges from meh to “Why is she here?”

Afterwards, Robbie has all the excuses. Gurl, you saw how well that went with Dax. Make a choice and stand by it! Bob wins. Cynthia and Robbie will lip sync, though are given the option to do it in skates or heels. Robbie choses skates. I think that’s the only thing that saved her. It was fun to watch and the novelty of it overpowered Cynthia’s cuckoo. Cynthia ends up going home.

That was episode three. Unfortunately, I think we’re back to the old formulas of having 4-5 queens who shouldn’t be there, just to be cannon fodder in the first few rounds, and it really shows. I wouldn’t say it’s dragging the show down, but I’m looking forward to later episodes when some of the better queens are allowed to shine more.

What did you think? Was Cynthia robbed? Should we have brought Naysha back? When do you think Betty will snap and let Michelle just HAVE IT?