Last time, Roxxxy pulled off her wig to reveal another wig and shantay, everyone stayed! What’s gonna happen this week? Roxxxy talks more about her life as an abandoned child. Alaska bemoans not having won a challenge. Coco’s ready for this. Bring it! Only, after the jump.
Shemail. Can you smell me? Don’t funk it up. Ru comes in and asks if all the gworls are homesick. So she invites the pit crew in. They keep coming. ..and coming . . and coming. Lots of shirtless muscle boys. Andrew Christian comes in and I groan. Yay for body image warping underwear and a body dysmorphic culture! Anyway, they basically have to play “Memory” but with the guy’s underwear. Hot damn. There’s lots of dropped trou. Half the girls totally pause and get distracted. Anyway, we’re ALL winners, only Ivy Winters wins the phone call home, so she decides to call her mom.
The main challenge is to create and market the girls’ own fragrances. By the way, Jinkx is wearing some weird shawl. The dolls all run to the table and start grabbing as many fragrance oils as possible. Alaska decides that this is her challenge and that she wants something earthy and dirty. Jinkx is working on her perfume and Ivy comes over and they chat. Jinkx says that Ivy is the only gworl who gets her. There’s a lot of giggling and eye contact.
RuPaul joins the gworls and heads to Alaska and picks up her bottle of perfume and sniffs it like a bottle of poppers. HA! We move to Roxxxy whose fragrance is Thick and Juicy. The bottle is covered in rhinestones and fruit. Roxxxy says it smells like food and Ru says it smells like IHOP. We move to Coco who’s doing something that sounds like “Ruanimal” which doesn’t make any damn sense. Ru’s taken aback and leaves it on that. Alyssa’s doing something called “Alyssa’s Secret” but doesn’t know what her secret is. Detox is over that crap and Ru says to clarify the message. Ivy’s doing a fragrance called “Poisoned Rosebud” and after talking to RuPaul, feels that the scent and campaign isn’t really about HER, and thus goes back to the drawing board.
We move on to the filming of the commercial, done by Michelle Visage and Aubrey O’Day. The queens are really excited about Aubrey, for some reason. Anyway, Jinkx starts out and Aubrey immediately goes into him for making it too slutty. Aubrey jumps up to lay out over the pit crew in some hideously ugly pants. Ivy comes out with a NYC backdrop, thinking to do a fast paced urban setting, only to be told that that’s Tokyo. Ooops. Doesn’t she live here? Anyway, Ivy keeps stumbling on the words and Aubrey’s not impressed. Coco joins us wearing all leopard print, and while it’s not that good, do you have to be so damn judgmental, Miss O’Day? What exactly have you done besides be the most famous Danity Kane member, which is kinda like saying the most famous Dream Street member? Then Coco lies on a fainting couch with Sean Morales in a lion mask, and I think “Ok, yeah, Aubrey has a point.” Detox is doing some pun on the word “heroin/heroine” which is funny, and then she does this thing where she uses this deep man voice to say “heroin/e” and it’s jarring, but … ok, it’s funny. Aubrey looks like someone peed in her Kool-Aid (which would explain why she’s not using it to dye her hair, anymore). Alyssa does her thing where she gets nervous and finds EVERYTHING funny, but still drops the ball in a million places. Roxxxy wears a giant yellow thing and looks like a huge raccoon peep (seriously, gworl, bend around yo’ eyes!). She has this smell thing that’s got potential but wasn’t worked out too well. Alaska comes in wearing her Lady Bunny wig and we find that she’s not just Red, as she told Ru, but Red … for Filth. HA. I love this. You need to do more away from RoLaskaTox. Michelle tells her to spin like Wonder Woman, and Aubrey’s impressed that Alaska took control and knew what she wanted.
Back in the holding cell, Alaska pulls out a photo book about her drag house and starts crying. I think he’s going to win. Ivy gets to call her mom, who looks a little bit like Christi from Dance Moms. Jinkx admits that’s he’s developing feelings for Ivy and Roxxxy and Alyssa listen in and give us DRAMA GWORL faces. Ivy comes back in and Jinkx does the “not sure when to stop this hug” thing.
Mainstage! Coco comes out in a zebra dress and looks like an optical illusion. Alaska is crazed business woman, in all red and black. Ivy’s got a cute lacy flouncy dress thing on, but its way way too tame. At the very least, it needs bigger hair. Detox is doing some mermaid dress that’s see through and is kind of tame for her. Alyssa’s wearing some couch print Dynasty/Dallas power dress suit. Jinkx is doing a cute lacey flapper girl. Roxxxy comes out in a very unflattering white cat suit, and looks like she’s a fanny pack away from being Fran Dresher’s mother.
Before each critique, we see the commercial. Coco, again, has lots of leopard print. Like on her, on her face on the background. The judges aren’t down with it and the lion head was just weird. Santino says she’s wearing too many accessories and everyone thinks the perfume smells horrible. Michelle feels there’s too much ass kissing. Aubrey thinks that Coco is way too unoriginal.
Alaska’s commercial is hilarious with just enough camp. You can hear Ru cackle in the background. Aubrey says that this is the only perfume she’d wear.
Ivy’s a little boring and there’s not much going on, EVEN when she does this fun little change with her dress that you don’t really see coming. The panel thinks she’s wearing an ice skating dress and isn’t impressed.
Detox’s Heroine was out there enough that the judges, generally, liked it. However, the look she brought was rather homemade and unfinished looking.
Alyssa’s didn’t stand out for anyone, except that she’s not that good a salesperson, mainly due to the fact that she doesn’t know what she’s selling. She also has Aubrey’s weird open scary eye thing.
Jinkx keeps whispering her mantra of “water off a duck’s back” and Ru finally catches it. I think it’s a bit. . . endearing but not entirely so, which makes sense to me. Her commercial is actually pretty funny and works well with the theme of Delusion. Michelle LOVES the look and I’m glad. Aubrey says it felt vaudeville, and I really wonder if that’s supposed to be a bad thing, knowing Jinkx.
Roxxxy comes out and there’s this whole reveal about her boobs. Her cat suit’s bow placement was weird and in general, Michelle and Aubrey felt she was unprofessional and the whole thing was just incredibly tacky, which is Roxxxy in a nutshell, for better or worse.
Michelle gives Jinkx another high five for growing and Alaska wins the challenge this week. Roxxxy looks incredibly pissed, but I say it’s her own damn fault. Ivy and Alyssa are the bottom two and have to lip synch to “Ain’t Nothin’ Going’ on but the Rent.” Ivy. . . stays where she is, which is a choice, but ends up being boring. Alyssa is all over the stage giving us Working Gworl Realness. Shantay, Alyssa stays, and Ivy sashays away. Jinkx looks devastated and feels that he’s lost the only person who gets him. Ivy says they’ll be seeing more of each other later.