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Catch up week continues!! After our super special expository opening, we find out that the woods are filled with PAGANS. *dramatic music* PAGANS. This episode isn’t going to be offensive at all.
[Read more…] about The CW’s Reign Recap: The Christians and the Pagans
We start with a Robin Hood style archery competition. Nostradamus is upset about an archery butte. Thomas is a really good shot and he and Francis engage in a penis waging competition. [Read more…] about The CW’s Reign Recap: Alias Was a Show About a Spy!
Reign, episode 2, opens up with an exposition fairy telling us, briefly, about how Mary, Queen of Scots fled to France to escape the English. Then, previously on “Reign” teen girls wore Urban Outfitters dresses and everyone talked in a British accent. Cue credits. [Read more…] about Reign Recap: Pay No Attention to the Spooky Woods Right Next to the Palace
Reign. You might have seen the posters of it around town, with some woman who almost looks like Kim Kardashian sitting with two generic CW hotties behind her. Once I realized that it was about Mary, Queen of Scots, I knew that it was going to be a hot mess, and I should totally jump on that train. So, join me as I recap “Reign.” Warning, you might need a bottle of wine to go with this. [Read more…] about Reign Recap: No History was Harmed in the Making of This Feature
Previously, on Dance Academy, Christian was an emo git, Abigail tried to quit, and Kat became bulimic. Catch up week continues! [Read more…] about Dance Academy Recap: Unreliable Narrator
Second Dance Academy in a row? That’s right folks; we’re playing catch up here! What happens to Tara and the gang?! WHO KNOWS?! [Read more…] about Dance Academy Recap: The Chicken Dance
Previously on Dance Academy, small town farm girl Tara Webster joined the Ballet Academy That Doesn’t Teach Ballet and is the Wurst Dancer Ever. Except when she’s not, and then she’s the Tallest Clara Ever. She had a crush on Every Boy Ever, while other students did stuff. Finally, the gay boy died, Tara was the Second Best Ballet Student in the World, and everyone promised to be friends forever. Let’s see how long this lasts. [Read more…] about Dance Academy Recap: How We Got Over Sammy
Last week on Game of Thrones, Matt Damon pranced around in a speedo, looking all fine and dandy, while Michael Douglas . . . wait, no. Last time on Game of Thrones, Dany wore a beautiful robe for some long haired hippy punk and Sam killed an ice zombie. [Read more…] about Game of Thrones Recap: George R. R. Martin Hates Us All
Previously, Sam and Gilly had awkward conversation, Shireen finally made her debut, Sansa refused to learn more about good sex, Shae pouted, Tori Amos told Gendry that he was noble, Arya complained and Dany was a diplomatic badass. Caught up? No? Then read the books. [Read more…] about Game of Thrones Recap: It’s a-me, Daario!!
Game of Thrones! Impressive geological backdrop!! New town! Oh. . Uh oh. That sound you heard accompanying the credits was the sound of a million nerds having an aneurism all at once. Why? Because Riverrun is supposed to be shaped like a triangle and juts into the river, that’s why. [Read more…] about Game of Thrones Recap: A Bird in Hand