A couple of months back I wrote an article about how the bear community has become quite known for its racism within it and how it is a big part of its culture today. In the time since then, I have heard several different angles on this matter that ultimately brings up some really good points to think of. People seemed to have a general idea that because I am white that this article really only pertained to white people being racists in this community. That is completely untrue, that sort of a thing can happen with any race in terms of how they view a different color. The point that I was getting at in that article in particular was the discrimination that not only particular races felt but other factors such as size, shape and even attitude.
But is that really discrimination or is it just a choice in how you view your partner? Men as well all know are very sex driven, so it is almost a split second decision most of the time when we see someone else and are either attracted to them or not. If you view someone of a certain size or color and aren’t attracted to them, what does that make you? Same thing goes for that as a whole, if you aren’t into white guys or chasers or Asians or what not, how would you characterize yourself then? For me personally, as stated previously, if you denounce an entire race or body size or whatever based on your own preconceived notions or anything like that, it might not be racist or whatever terminology you want to call it but it is discriminatory. You don’t get to know the person beyond the aesthetic, something that is a growing problem in this “need it now”, “want it now” world that we live in. We don’t slow down enough to get to know someone, and in that regards you might change your minds on things.
I do stand up though for what I wrote in the last article about how bears are viewed in the media- white. Every single Bear movie and series that is out there right now has an all white cast. I mean, in one particular movie they filmed scenes at Rockbar in New York City. Rockbar is one of the most, if not the most, diverse bear bars in the country and the entire scene filmed had white guys. It just really gives a bad impression.
So this can be a really tricky subject no matter how you look at it. How do you view how you choose your partners in this hectic gay world that we live in?
I chose my husband based on many factors. Physical attraction was one important piece. However, I have never really had a “type.” I can find men of all shapes, sizes, and colors attractive. I feel sorry for guys who have only one very narrow “type.” They limit themselves. My husband is very handsome and also he is intelligent, witty, creative, kind, optimistic, fun, quirky, loving, and passionate. Those qualities plus love solidified my attraction to him and led to me asking him to marry me. I thank God he chose me too. I do get disturbed by people who seem to exclude guys based on physical traits including color. It’s all in the way you frame it. Those guys who create ads with phrases like “white guys only, no fats, no oldies, no fems, etc.” always come across as racist and discriminatory to me. If you state preferences on waus like the following: “I am attracted to guys with paler skin, who are height/weight (whatever that means), between the ages of 20-30, and more stereotypically masculine (whatever that means),” then it doesn’t come across as racist or discriminatory as all of the “only’s” and “no’s.” Tone matters. Being respectful goes along way. We all have our preferences. We should examine our preferences, question them to see if they serve us, and determine their origin so that we may talk about our preferences in ways that are not exclusionary, racist, sexist, ageist, sizeist, or discriminatory. That would help our community to be more welcoming, respectful, and unified.
call it what it is and stop trying to make nice. It IS RACIST! And SIZEIST and All other kinds of discrimination! Preference is if you like your balls tickled when you get a blow job, not how you view someone as a person you feel sexually attracted to. It is over complicating things and making tons of excuses for what is Blatant Discrimination. Jesus… talking like this only exacerbates the problem and does nothing to solve it or shame the stupid fucking twats who are racist and discriminatory!
So let me get this right, you’re not allowed to be discriminatory when it comes to who you get in bed with and who you want to have a relationship with? If that’s the case, why don’t we have sex with women?
Nope, bear community is still pretty damn racist. All I see here in Oregon are white bears, it almost feels like it’s a whites only community. Hardly see much people of color and I can tell the people are so full of themselves that they only go for other white bears and close out the bears of color. Hopefully you make more articles showing the bad side of the bear community cause more people need to have their eyes opened to how messed up it really is.