RPDRs7-cast-group-pressPreviously on Drag Race, the gods made us birds, so we could fly. Fly far far away.  Apparently, it didn’t work because we’re back, only Sasha Belle isn’t!!

Everyone comes into find Sasha’s message on the board, saying she’s gunning for Ginger Minj. Everyone’s kinda pissed, and I’m not sure why. You all are still in the race. As they de-drag, Jasmine Masters and Kennedy Davenport start talking up a storm about how most of the young, pretty, white queens are young and pretty and don’t know anything about anything. Also, Jasmine is over Violet Chachki not wearing panties, as if this is the first season where someone got mostly naked in the dressing room.

RuPaul, it seems, has decided to announce Not She Mail with unintelligent warbling, which was funny the first time. This is no longer the first time. Lots of Shakespearian language, which means, in case you didn’t watch the trailer, that we’ll be doing an acting challenge, based on Shakespeare. Based is the operative term here. Before that, we have to do the mini challenge, which is dressing up as old ladies and doing a Soul Train while Ru judges them from a hoveround. Max and Kennedy win, which doesn’t make sense to anyone watching. Maybe it’s the editing. They pick teams and Violet is picked last. The two “plays” are Romy and Juliet and MacBitch, so, you can guess what level of class we’re expecting.

Pearl is rather stupid, it seems, and wasn’t paying attention in English class. Jasmine is dead set on not being the ghetto bitch, and convinces Kennedy (who’s shitty at casting) to have that part go to Violet. Violet’s not down with this, and everyone’s upset. So, who’s an actor and who’s not? Max is, and we find out that way too many of these queens aren’t familiar with Shakespeare. Violet impresses no one with her ghetto act, and Kennedy switches the roles at the last minute, and stops them from rehearsing. There’s no way this can go wrong.

The groups start filming. Miss Fame flubs her lines. So does Jaidynn Diore Fierce, but Jaidynn breaks down. We take a moment and have a big group hug. Kennedy’s team is all over the place. Pearl is doing her best straight man voice and Jasmine keeps forgetting her lines. Ru wonders why it’s a big huge mess. Out loud.

Later, Jasmine feels that she fucked up but that her dress will more than make up for it. Good luck with that. Mrs Kasha Davis is ready to turnt it up and Kennedy is annoyed by the children, again. These two, along with Jasmine and Ginger have formed the Bitter Old Lady Brigade. They don’t mean any harm. Except when they do. We take another Real Moment where Ginger talks about one of her fans having cancer.

RuPaul opens the mainstage looking like Storm, from the X-Men. A very skinny Kat Dennings and Mel B are the judges, and the theme of the evening is Beards. I don’t know. The queens all come out in beards. Beards beards beards. Then we watch the videos.  One’s decent and one sucks. I’ll let you guess which one is which. Max’s team is safe, to give you a hint. Everyone on Kennedy’s team is up for elimination.

Katya and Kandy are safe. Kennedy as a disaster as the leader and her dress was boring. Jasmine has a lot of issues and a gorgeous gown. Pearl is boring and lifeless but they liked her beard. Violet is pretty but boring. RuPaul berates the queens for fucking it up, royally. Jasmine and Kennedy lip synch against each other to Kylie Minogue’s” I Was Gonna Cancel.” Despite hopping around in her dress, Jasmine sashay’s away. Join us next week when something might happen!