Well, here we go again society. Another trending topic that will no doubt go away after a while for most people, however this particular issue comes up time and time again with no end in sight. This is the #dadbod, or dad bod, however you want to word it. A simple article written on a site called “The Odyssey” in which a woman discusses her roommate’s fondness for a particular type of body on a man which is described as- a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.” It’s not an overweight guy, but it isn’t one with washboard abs, either.
Now, no shade here to the opposite sex, but this really isn’t news if you are in the gay or bear communities… or both. This type of body is one that has been desired for decades upon decades and is a lot of the reason why men fall into the bear community in the first place. Growing up, a lot of the bear inspirations had this particular bod, which I refer to as “Huskular”, and we identified with the sexiness these men carried that allowed us to then figure out the type of man we want to emulate and be with both in and out of bed. Men like Christopher Meloni, Chris Pratt, Jason Segal and so many others have had this type of body and have also developed a great juxtaposition with males and females alike for their physical attributes on top of so many other things.
Here is the problem though with this- it has opened up a forum where we as gays are once again judging each other on what type of body each individual should have. Some men that have posted about this said that trying to achieve having a dad bod is quote “lazy”, ‘uninspiring” and “pathetic” in many adjective type terms. Others have embraced this type of movement and stated that “you should ultimately be happy with the skin you are in”. Granted the former of this argument is a personal trainer, so no doubt they don’t ever want to tell their clients to achieve this sort of thing, however many people would look at the critiques and read “judgement”. It is kind of like that mother of three a couple of years back who did the “What’s Your Excuse” type of thing. Regardless if it is meant to come off in a positive light, there are people out there who are sensitive or read things the wrong way (I have before) who will see it as “body shaming”.
I recently asked my friends this- Is having a regular guy bod, or #dadbod, really that bad of a thing in the gay world? Do we feel we have to push ourselves to have a better body due to societal standards? Thoughts? These are the myriad of responses I received-
We definitely do! I’m not saying it’s right, but there is in reality an extremely high focus on what you look like as the initial attraction. That’s not to say given time personality won’t ultimately win over however initially there has to be a sexual attraction.
So to me, #dadbod is a guy that is balanced. likes the gym, but doesn’t obsess about macros. It just means that you have more time for other things. so my guess is #dadbod just str8 skinny/gay fat? Because I find that gay guys obsess more about carbs than anything. Why is that? Because gay media is still obsessed about the unrealistic ‘spornosexual’ image and I think #dadbod is a great counter stereotype, something people can realistically aspire to because let’s face it, once you’re over 30 most men can’t really have abs without eating salads all day and working out 2x a day. Who has all that time?
There’s someone out there for everyone. The trick is not over thinking it or worrying too much about it. You’ll drive yourself crazy and spiral.
I’d prefer a guy with a regular bod or dad bod over a guy that’s all muscled out. When I’m at the gym of course those guys make for great eye candy. The body that I want and the body that really makes me swoon on another guy would be a combination of a dad bod and muscle. I like a guy with a nice belly, big upper body and a nice set of legs to support it all. To each their own though.
I think that a majority of the gay world is very shallow and mistake skinny for attractive. They don’t think regular bodies ad normal bodies as attractive. And they don’t care about personality.
Clearly, it really is to each his own in so many different attributes. Granted my opinion is be happy with your own life and not focus on what other people say you should do or think of you in that sense. I relay a lot of it to that Kacey Musgraves song “Follow Your Arrow”. Just follow your arrow wherever it points. Want that muscular body that you desire to be and be with? Go for it. Happy to attain the huskular type of look that suits you and your suitors? Yay for you. Just be happy, and healthy and don’t overdo it. That’s all.