andy

Andy Cohen’s “The Andy Cohen” Diaries- Review

“Andy Cohen’s Got The 411” couldn’t be truer in this novel

I for one am a self confessed Bravo addict. I don’t know when the addiction began, but it is real and true. Part of that addiction is the man at the helm of this article, Andy Cohen. Andy, who only a mere couple of years ago was only known for being a producer of content for Bravo TV, emerged as a contender in late night programming with the wildly successful “Watch What Happens Live”. He has also been the host for the riveting “Real Housewives” reunions, as well as developing some of our TV mainstays such as “Top Chef” and “The Millionaire Matchmaker” to name a few (not on this list- “NYC Prep”. Yikes Andy Cohen. Bloop). With all the success that Andy Cohen has had over the past couple of years, both on and off camera, he has taken his crazy life stories and written about it in two books. The first one was released earlier this year, titled “Most Talkative: Stories From The Front Lines Of Pop Culture”, which chronicled how he got to where he is now. He recently released his second book titled “The Andy Cohen Diaries” which gives us a day to day visit into his life and the totally exciting chaos that ensues on a daily basis. As much fun as the first book was to read, I was totally excited to read “The Andy Cohen Diaries” as it would give me a better glimpse into someone who I view as a bit of a hero when it comes to making yourself in this world. I got that, and so much more.

There are a lot of facets that I love about Andy Cohen just from reading this book. There are times while reading it where I genuinely get a Kathy Griffin vibe from him, meaning that he is really the celebrity for the people and that he is just one of us. What I mean by that is when he details his nights at “Watch What Happens Live” & when a big celebrity appears, he wants to make sure that everything goes well in order to make sure the night runs smoothly (See: Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, even Shaq). It comes off as a mixture of wanting to be a good host yet also wanting to make sure that the audience watching at home and in the studio is having a good time, which comes across as genuine and that he really cares. There is even a part in the book where he worries about becoming a self obsessed narcissist as he has heard that it is near impossible for other late night hosts not to get that way. Very interesting.

The book sometimes really does read like Andy Cohen is the gay male version of Carrie Bradshaw, most notably noticed by Sarah Jessica Parker herself as written on the back of the book. From reading this book it seems like Andy leads quite the glamorous life, with hosting fantastic events, attending some of the best bars and clubs that New York City amongst other cities has to offer, and hanging around some huge A-listers as a genuine friend to (Kelly Ripa, Anderson Cooper, etc). Something that I love about these parts of the books are the normal people that he meets along the way, such as “Baby Jane Flight Attendant” on his trips to LA and his “future husband” that he meets on at trip that coincidentally lives in the same building as him. His also honest take on how New York City has become completely commercial is a huge breath of fresh air, especially when it is something many New Yorkers like myself have been noticing for years. So when he brings up the greedy landlords that keep closing some of the best restaurants in New York City down due to price hikes to make way for yet ANOTHER Duane Reade or TD Bank, it is just another reminder of why NYC is not what it used to be. Kudos to Andy Cohen for bringing that up.

It to me is so funny that the theme song to “Watch What Happens Live” starts with “Andy Cohen’s got the 411”, which couldn’t ring truer in this novel. The 411 meaning the biggest name dropper of 2014. There are so many names that Andy discusses in this book, both inside and outside of the housewives realm. Something that I wish he could’ve been a little more open on are the housewives that got fired and he omitted their names while discussing. That would’ve made this book even more salacious as a lot of us would love to know his true opinions on the Housewives, although he seems to play favorites (Nene, Brandi, etc). That being said, some of the highlights for name dropping is his cavorts at “The View”, most particularly his epic visit when Barbara Walters read him the house down for his assumption that her generation didn’t understand “American Hustle”. Yikes. Of all the name droppings in the book (Gaga’s was a hoot) the one that I genuinely liked the most was his honest description about Miss Britney Spears. I grew up loving that girl so much that I was voted Most Obsessed in my 8th Grade Yearbook. So when he talks about meeting her in Vegas, and pretty much detailing his honest thoughts about her (get the book, its good) it brings us a much more candid version of who Britney really is on a day to day basis, and that is was a real person’s experience and not a tabloids. Fascinating stuff.

The best parts of this book are two things- Wacha and his parents. Wacha, the rescue dog that he adopted from a kill shelter in West Virginia, is a pivotal point in this book as he appears throughout. From Andy’s lack of committing to anything including a dog, it really was fun to see the growth that he experiences with Wacha from the first time he meets him to the bond he develops with the dog to this present day. It really is heartwarming and as a dog lover myself can empathize about the daily struggles of having a dog but loving it unconditionally as they love you that way. Then of course there are his parents. I truly believe if Andy gave them their own reality show it would be a hit, as they are both hilarious in their own nutty ways. Evelyn’s (mom) texts to Andy about a myriad of things runs similar to how Kathy Griffin describes the brutal honesty that her mother Maggie bestows about her on a daily basis. It is part caring, part keeping it real, and part hilarity all wrapped up in one, and something you will see quite often as you read the book.

Overall, I think Andy Cohen is like Charlie Brown meets Andy Warhol. Just a normal guy from St. Louis who happened on this incredible life and stories for the masses to read, just like Andy Warhol did with his book back in the 80’s I would highly recommend anyone getting this as you will find some sort of relatability throughout. For more information on all things Andy Cohen, log on to his site.

Big Brother 15- The Season That Could’ve Been

by Ryan Shea

Every season lately I go into Big Brother thinking it will be somewhat reminiscent of the older seasons, when real fans of the show were picked and not aspiring actors/models/douchebags and people voted on who THEY wanted out and not vote in a group consensus which equals to being a complete coward. This season was quite possibly the worst season of BB with the exception of the oft forgotten Season 9 (You know how the guy that won ran into a zillion drug problems with the law and another guy went to jail for beating up his pregnant girlfriend. Keep it classy). Even with the cast being as bad as it was, this season had so many problems from the get go that even an avid BB fan that i am didn’t really watch it in the beginning. I started truly watching when Aryan, oh wait I’m sorry Aaryn, received a ton of media attention for her lovely racist ways and it brought me back to see what had really developed on the show. Since that time, I have been watching it non stop and have come to several conclusions on what went wrong with this season, and ultimately how each houseguest performed in their stay. Here is how I viewed things-

MVP Epic Fail- When Julie Chen announced the first twist on her show “The Talk”, I really thought it was an innovative way to keep this show fresh and new. That was, until I saw that Elissa was a part of this cast and had the feeling that because of the whole “Brenchel” army thing that she was going to get the MVP every week. It was very frustrating because there were so many ways that they could’ve made this MVP thing more fun. For instance- take the top 3 America voted that week and then have the houseguests themselves vote on who the MVP would be. America/the producers tend to rig things so if the houseguests voted that would make the paranoia, alliances and everything else that much more on a heightened level and therefore enjoyable. But all we saw was Elissa be in control and then Amanda be on the block every week because America despised her/Aaryn wasn’t eligible.

16 PEOPLE!!- I’m all for a bigger cast each year, but 16 became kind of a bit much. Plus this was an extended season so the usual 70-75 days they spend in the BB house became 90 days. It just felt like it went on for a while and because there weren’t that many likable people in the game it just felt like it dragged on (and still feels like that). When the four jury members came back into the game that one night, I was like- JESUS were are 70 days into this game and there are still like 11 people in the house. WTF. It just became exasperating and that is that.

Now onto how each player in eviction order-

David- You were the a typical “asshat” lifeguard who only came on the show to have a showmance with the racist. As Andy lovely put it, “You Won A Hamburger”. That’s all you put into this game. BAI.

Nick- Nick was really one of the only likable contestants I saw in the beginning, but Elissa made a very smart move in nominating him as MVP and then Helen doing all the work to get him out. As I’ve said recently regarding GM- run for the mother fucking hills dude.

Jeremy- Winegate. Rubbing your ass on other people’s clothes. Homophobia. Sexism. Putting people down. That’s all you, brah. What a great guy you are.

Kaitlin- Kaitlin at that point was viewed as the strongest of the “Mean Girls” alliance and the house was smart for getting her out. Looking back it should’ve been Aaryn that week due to that in the weeks after she became a beast of a competitor, but Kaitlin was the smart choice and she could’ve gone the distance I believe had she stayed.

Howard- I loved Howard for so many reasons besides the fact that he is beyond sexy. He was a true gentleman in the game and never raised his voice when he had ample opportunities to do so in regards to the insane racism that so many other things that happened. He protected Candice and was just an all around good guy. The problem he had was his physical stature and his lie to Helen regarding that ridiculous alliance he had in the beginning of the game. I hope he gets to play again in future seasons because I really think he wasn’t given a fair shot.

Candice- My boo. Although she got a little bat shit cray cray in the house, I really loved Candice because she was an expressive individual that unfortunately played with her emotions too much in this game and that is why she left. She was really smart as to be the first one in the house to try to get Amanda out but unfortunately it was to no avail. I think she is one of the only wildcard votes in the jury house also.

Jessie- Put it this way- sweet girl but had no power whatsoever in the game to do anything as she was always in the bottom end of the totem pole in both alliances she was in.

Helen- From week 2 I had Helen truly making the distance in this game. She reminded me of a lot of people that won this game in past years from Maggie to Dan in that she had a firm grip on her alliance and was a great leader that people listened to. She had one big problem- Andy, who I believe was the reason for her demise, not Amanda. Him swaying to the 4AM Alliance really helped him out for a while and that side was able to get out a truly great competitor. If they do All Stars again, I hope she is someone considered.

Aaryn- BOY OH BOY I CAN’T WAIT FOR WEDNESDAY! Why? For so many reasons. This is where I truly hope CBS gets really smart and shows EVERYTHING SHE SAID so that she can get a better idea of how much of a disgusting, vile piece of shit that she truly is. No, your mother can’t even help you out in this one girl. You did this yourself. As awesome as that eviction interview that Ms. Chen did it didn’t even scratch the mark in terms of all the nasty and putrid things you said in the game. Good luck in the future Aaryn with anything, you are royally screwed for life and if you would’ve just kept your damn mouth shut and faked it in this game we would’ve rooted for you because you were a badass competitor. Stupid.

Amanda- You are a scary girl. They gave you an amazing edit almost to the end but for everyone who watched the live feeds and saw who you really were really is why you were the one on the block every week thanks to MVP. Amanda really was a smart cookie in the game as she controlled a good amount of the evictions until Elissa won HOH and that’s when everything crumbled and her power was no more. I give GM a ton of credit for putting her McRanda on the block and sending her out of the game as she would’ve been a tough one to beat in the end. She is a mixture of Dr. Will in terms of gameplay and Evil Dick in terms of mouthiness. Yikes.

Elissa- So boring and forgetful I forgot to even include you in the original posting of this article. Wow. You played this game as such a polar opposite of Rachel in terms of how quiet and non-confrontational you were. That is all in fine, as Rachel got quite annoying in the game sometimes, but it took you almost 60 days to win a damn competition and do things. I do have to admit that you were pretty smart when it came to putting up the right people when you were MVP (David, Nick) but besides that you were just a wallflower that really wasn’t going to garner any votes in the end. Sorry/Not Sorry.

Judd- The Stud? Judd played a really great game originally and if Helen were to look back on things she would’ve convinced Aaryn to either A- keep the nominations of Spencer/Jessie the same, or B- get Amanda out that night. She went after the wrong person. As happy as I was for Judd to come back into the game, he really didn’t do much game play upon his arrival except for the whole “Exterminators” deal. The fellow 3 exterminators were smart to get rid of him yet I do wonder if he would’ve garnered any votes in the end of the game based off the idea that he got a 2nd chance to play.

McCrae- I had such high hopes for this guy originally in this game. He had the chance to be that Dan, Ian or Dr. Will and he blew it by hiding in Amanda’s panties the entire summer. Seriously. He won the first HOH and then after that had Amanda do all the dirty work while he slept all summer and didn’t socialize. The only vote he would’ve gotten in the end was Amanda’s, that’s it. He only has himself to blame for this one.

As for the remaining three, I will save that for a later article detailing who has the best chance to win in this game and ultimately how I think they made it to the end of the game. Needless to say, this wasn’t a good season of Big Brother at all and I hope in future seasons that the producers learn from their mistakes and just cast FANS of this game and not you know, racists. Check out the finale this Wednesday night at 9:30 pm Eastern on CBS.

Big Brother 15- This is some bullshit.

by Ryan Shea

I wrote something similar a little while back regarding Big Brother but since then the level of bullshit and ridiculousness that has happened in the house has gotten so out of control that I really just can’t hold my tongue anymore. The fact that this season has turned into what it has is really the producers to blame but seeing as they are pulling in a decent amount of viewers this year I am sure that they are laughing all the way home, so why would they care who is hating the show this year?

First off, after the double eviction on Thursday night, I can firmly say that the majority of this country feels that there is no one left to root for. Not that there really was in the first place. The men are getting decimated one by one and the two people that went home on Thursday were ones that I was rooting for the go the long haul (Judd in particular). Did anyone else think it was kind of ironic that the two racist pigs in the house got rid of the African Americans each week? Hmmm. Oh and Gina Marie you are a disgusting troll who in the real world could never get a guy like Nick. Saying the things you said about Asians and African Americans, especially what you said to Candice on her way out the door regarding her mother, really shows the kind of person that you are and I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see how much America hates you and that you got fired from your pageant job (I really am curious to know how in god’s name she got that job in the first place).

This being said, let me break down each person that is left to give my personal opinion on them. Normally I would rank this from who I like the most or who I think is playing the best, but I really think all the people that are left are frankly terrible so let’s just leave it at that-

1. Helen- I was originally Team Helen in Week 3 when she won HOH because I felt that her group was the outcasts that finally got some power. Over the weeks though, her cocky attitude has really rubbed me the wrong way and she is completely in the dark about how Amanda and some other people really want her gone. The icing on the cake came on Thursday night when Aaryn won POV and she said “Girl, you are Janelle. Don’t you realize that?” Or something along those lines. Aaryn being Janelle is like Melissa Joan Hart being Meryl Streep. In other words, not even close. Helen, shut up seriously you are annoying.

2. Aaryn- or shall I say Aryan. Good god girl. The funny thing about her is that if she NEVER said anything racist or did that stupid shit that she did early on in the game most of America would actually be rooting for her. That’s the funniest part. She’s won three HOH’s and a POV and clearly is a smart cookie when it comes to winning things. Unfortunately, she’s listening to what everyone else wants. The fact that BB hasn’t rigged it to get her out so we can all watch that eviction interview like they rigged Jeff winning everything really annoys me because that would be riveting television.

3. Gina Marie- you are a waste of space. You are a joke. America laughs at you. Take Nick’s hat off. Nick- run for the hills dude.

4. Spencer- As a fellow bear, I find Spencer the only attractive man left in the game as he is quite cute. That’s as far as I am going to go about this. He is alone in the game and will be put up every week because these houseguests are going with the majority each time and refuse to put power players up so they will go after him until he gets home. No shot in winning in the game.

5. Jessie- Cute girl but at the bottom of the totem pole in terms of an alliance. Her winning HOH would’ve been crucial as she is the only houseguest left who I feel would go against this majority bullshit, but seeing as she didn’t its a matter of time before she enters jury.

6. Andy- Andy is the most pathetic houseguest they have had in a very long time. He also is another awful example of a gay man playing this game. He can’t keep his mouth shut and tells Amanda everything. He’s formed an alliance with Amanda and McCrae, which is stupid in the sense that if they are in the final three together they aren’t taking Andy. Andy is a true floater that just like some other houseguests can’t make a decision for themselves.

7. Amanda- Girl, you are getting a phenomenal edit this year. In the house, you are a ballistic psychopath who has gone after pretty much everyone and their mom this week. You are another person that I can’t wait to see your reaction when you find out that America put your ass on the block twice and not Judd (who should still be there). Amanda has said some pretty racist stuff in the house too, which I think is unfair for them to not show seeing as Aaryn has gotten the brunt of everything so far. She is the one to beat in my opinion because everyone in this house is scared.

8. McCrae- Amanda’s right hand man. He hasn’t had to do much because of her, so I really see him riding this to the end as I predicted a while back.

9. Elissa- Who?

I really, really hope that someone goes back into this game as they have done in other seasons. If so, bring Judd or Candice back and please have them kick one of these people out. There has been a common thread in the past couple of seasons in that the person that wins the game is generally a likable person both in and outside the game (Ian, Hayden, Jordan, not Rachel). I just hope the show comes to their senses and realizes this and does something about it. Because if Aaryn, Amanda or Gina Marie win this game I will lose it.

andy

“Andy Cohen’s Got The 411” couldn’t be truer in this novel

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