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2016 Grammy Predictions: Who Will Make The Cut?

Although creatively Manhattan Digest is about Manhattan culture, something I still happen to love to write about and cover is the music industry. The music industry itself was what I started writing about in my journalism career nearly six years ago, and something I still have a penchant for jotting down every couple of months. Something that we here at Manhattan Digest have done since the site’s inception nearly three years ago is cover the Grammy Awards before, during and after. The before part starts with who we think will be nominated in the big categories this year, seeing as the deadline for nominations just passed and the nominees will be announced in early December.

Whereas I don’t think this was really a banner year for music in general, there were some shining exceptions that proved that point to be an epic fail. New artists emerged and conquered the charts, legends released some very well received albums (Madonna, Janet) and legends in the making continued their domination of the industry both on and off the Billboard Hot 100. But there have been so many instances where the charts and sales don’t matter when it comes to winning a Grammy, that it merely is just pure talent. Take last year’ winner for Album of the Year, Beck. A true shocker of the night but when you think about it, the album itself really was incredible, highly rated and proof that Beck still has it going on more than 20 years into his illustrious career. So what does really matter when it comes to a nomination?

Based on a bunch of different factors, here is who I think will be nominated in December for the three major awards- Record, Album & Best New Artist. Record is up first.

The Weeknd, Ryan Shea, The Hills, Manhattan Digest — Credit to: www.blazingswarm.net

Record Of The Year-

Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars- “Uptown Funk”

Taylor Swift- “Blank Space”

The Weeknd- “The Hills”

Ed Sheeran- “Thinking Out Loud”

Walk The Moon- “Shut Up And Dance”

Honorable Mentions/Possible Nominees:

Rachel Platten- “Fight Song”

Little Big Town- “Girl Crush”

Rihanna Featuring Kanye West & Paul McCartney- “4 5 Seconds”

Wiz Khalifa Featuring Charlie Puth- “See You Again”

So the ones for ROTY (Record of the Year) that I think are on lock are Taylor, Mark/Bruno and Ed Sheeran. All three were monster hits that charted at the top. All three are Grammy darlings as well, with Taylor, Bruno and Mark winning several times before. People forget that Mark produced Amy Winehouse’s epic “Back To Black” album that won him Producer Of The Year, non classical as well as two other awards. Needless to say, they are an easy lock. The Weeknd had an amazing year and is no doubt a shoo in to be nominated for multiple Grammy’s, the only thing I question is if he gets a ROTY nominee what song will it be? I was never the biggest fan of “Earned It” and think that “The Hills” is a much better song both lyrically and in its delivery. Rounding out is “Shut Up And Dance” by Walk The Moon. There always seems to be a quirky, rock/alternative nominee in these categories and they would be the ones to fill it. Should it win? No, but a nomination doesn’t hurt.

Ryan Shea, Manhattan Digest, To Pimp A Butterfly, Kendrick Lamar — Credit to: BET

Album Of The Year-

Taylor Swift- “1989”

The Weeknd- “Beauty Behind The Madness”

Kendrick Lamar- “To Pimp A Butterfly”

J. Cole- “2014 Forest Hills Drive”

Mumford & Sons- “Wilder Mind”

Honorable Mentions/Possible Nominees-

Luke Bryan- “Kill The Lights”

James Taylor- “Before This World”

Drake- “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late”

I really have been dreaming of a day when an authentic hip-hop album wins AOTY (Album of the Year) again. The last time that happened was over a decade ago when Outkast won for “Speakerboxx/The Love Below”. Three uber-strong contenders that I hope will be in contention for AOTY are Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole and The Weeknd. I don’t think J. Cole is a lock however he should be as his latest effort is his best to date. Kendrick was robbed of this two years ago by Daft Punk, but was also robbed in the rap categories by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. So I hope there is some form of redemption in a nomination, if not a win. Mumford & Sons won in this category a couple of years ago for “Babel” so i wouldn’t be shocked if their latest effort got a nod as well. Taylor will of course be nominated again as “1989” was groundbreaking in the past year. Will she win like she did for “Fearless”? Not sure, but my money is regrettably on her. If they need a country nominee then Luke would be good to throw into that pile. James would be an old favorite and Drake had an outstanding year especially with “If You’re Reading This”. Should be interesting to see how this plays out.

Sam Hunt, Ryan Shea, Manhattan Digest — Credit to: Live Nation

Best New Artist-

Fetty Wap

Meghan Trainor

Hozier

Rachel Platten

Sam Hunt

Honorable Mentions/Possible Nominees:

Kelsea Ballerini

Shawn Mendes

Walk The Moon

Already nominees at last year’s awards for their single efforts, Hozier and Meghan Trainor will no doubt get nominations for Best New Artist as their debut albums were released after the deadline. Rachel Platten kind of came from out of nowhere with her power anthem “Fight Song” and could easily be a nominee. There is always a hip hop and country nominee in these categories, and you couldn’t get any bigger than Fetty Wap for the former and Sam Hunt for the latter to fill this category. My money is actually on Hozier to win this, but you never know.

For more information on all things Grammy awards, check out their official site.

Big Brother Winners- From Worst To Best

by Ryan Shea

Season 17 of Big Brother concluded last week with uber fan Steve Moses winning by a vote of 6-3 over Liz Nolan. It is hard to believe that this show has been around for 15 years now since it premiered in the summer of 2000, and what’s even harder to believe is that it was widely considered to not be renewed after an insanely lackluster first season. However, the show found a format that worked for its audience, and it has done a good job somewhat at maintaining that strategy since 2001 and keeping a loyal fan base throughout.

The show has had seventeen seasons, so of course it has had seventeen winners. Many of the winners have played a “snake in the grass” strategy where other ones have been brazen and bold since walking into the house on day one. Some have even done a good mixture of both. Question is, who did the best, and who did the worst? I am ranking the winners from worst to best, and you may be surprised to know who I think is the best in the end. Keep in mind that I am taking what happened outside of the game (Adam Jasinski, ahem) and just focusing on the game itself. Sound off on what you think fellow BB historians!

17. Lisa Donahue- Big Brother 3

Lisa was the antithesis to Will Kirby the summer before, and is part of the reason why she won the game overall as it was proven a nice person could win this thing. Problem is that Lisa didn’t deserve a goddamn vote from anyone on that jury. Yes she played a good game in terms of alignment and all of that, but when you are sitting next to arguably the best person to never win BB (Danielle Reyes) it is hard as a fan to understand what made Lisa’s game even a fraction better than Danielle’s. It was a hella bitter jury that was angry at Danielle due to her playing each and every one of them and that is why Lisa won. So in my eyes, Lisa didn’t win anything because of what she did, she won because of what Danielle did.

16. Hayden Moss- Big Brother 12

Hayden, just like Lisa, was a very likable player (even more so when he played Survivor). I just find that his win to be somewhat of a foregone conclusion as he really didn’t have a strategy at all besides aligning with three other dudes that dominated. I like my winners to have individual strategy, which neither him or runner up Lane seemed to possess. That is why he ranks low on my list.

15. Adam Jasinski- Big Brother 9

I hated this season for so many reasons (read here), but Adam just kept finding himself in the right place at the right time and really didn’t have any clout as to why he won in the end. Now he’s not winning in life at all.

14. Jordan Lloyd- Big Brother 11

YJordan’s strategy was to be nice and sweet. That’s it. It was hilarious watching her answer the jury questions which really was just talking in circles to where i couldn’t even figure out what she was saying. I hated Natalie but at least she had a cohesive strategy to get to the end. It was a bit Lisa/Danielle again with these two and that’s why Jordan won.

13. Steve Moses- Big Brother 17

I gotta give credit to Steve as making it past 16 other players is incredible in the first place. He just made so many bad moves to get to the end that it’s hard to figure out how he really made it there. During the live double eviction, he put up Meg and Jackie, which made virtually no sense. Him and Johnny had ample opportunities to get rid of Austwins and Austin, and they just kept them in the game. I just feel if you are a BB historian and things are that blatantly obvious, you should go after a visible alliance and get rid of them. That simple. Kudos however for getting rid of Vanessa in the end.

12. Eddie McGee- Big Brother 1

Yes this season was forgettable and was such a different format compared to what it is now. Eddie did a great job though of getting the American public to like him and that is why he won in the end. Also, with a group of people in the end who were just nice and plain people, Eddie had a fire and bold personality that at least made it semi interesting to watch.

11. Andy Herren- Big Brother 15

This season was filled with scummy people. Andy wasn’t one of them, thank god. Andy’s likability helped him win in the end, like Lisa and Jordan, and he won due to his great ability of floating. His best move in the game was creating The Exterminators and convincing McCrae that Elissa voted out Amanda during the double eviction when it was really him. He ranks low on my list though as I for one have never been the biggest fan of blatant floaters winning this game.

Drew Daniel, one of the houseguests on BIG BROTHER 5. Photo: Tony Esparza/CBS ©2004 CBS BROADCASTING INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. — Credit to: Tony Esparza/CBS

10. Drew Daniel- Big Brother 5

Drew did a great job at winning competitions and screwing over his girlfriend in the end. He barely beat Michael though, something that he would’ve had the same problem doing with Diane. Had it been him and Nakomis in the end, he wouldn’t have had a snowflakes chance in hell of winning. That is why he ranks low on this list as he didn’t really have that much of a cohesive strategy to win this thing with a majority.

Rachel Reilly, Manhattan Digest, Big Brother — Credit to: Cartermatt.com

9. Rachel Reilly- Big Brother 13

I will say that I loved Rachel in her original season, and had her and Brendan not made themselves such outsiders and tried to form an alliance with the rest of the house to take The Brigade out, she would’ve had a very good shot at winning BB12. However I really think Rachel won BB13 because she proved that she could be a great gamer without her boyfriend there, and was a much better strategist than Porsche to win in the end.

8. Mike “Boogie” Malin- Big Brother 7 All Stars

Mike was the second to last choice to be in the BB7 house and I think he was planted there to resurrect the Chilltown alliance which he did a very good job in doing so. Many people see Will as doing the majority of the work however Mike did an amazing job at playing literally everyone in that jury (more than anyone Erika) and won the game in doing so.

7. Maggie Ausburn- Big Brother 6

Everyone hated Maggie and her alliance. I personally couldn’t stand the 4 others in that alliance but the one person I thought was playing a great game was Maggie. Maggie simply won because it took her 15 minutes to convince Howie to nominate James and Sarah which for the most part kept The Friendship alliance having power until the end of the game. She easily manipulated April and Ivette in the end to have them fight with each other and she just sat back and watch it implode. And she developed great bonds with people like Ivette so when it came time to decide who to take to the end, Ivette chose her over Janelle (which was an insanely stupid decision). That is why Maggie ranks so high on my list as she really was an insanely smart strategist.

6. Dick Donato- Big Brother 8

Big Brother 8 was hard to watch sometime due to the antics of Dick, however I watched that season over recently and kind of understand what he was trying to do. You are literally in a hamster wheel for three months and he was doing whatever it took to get into the minds of these people and mess with them to where their insecurities was ever present and thus so became weaker and weaker in the game. He also did great in competitions and aligned with his daughter the whole game to get himself to the end and win.

Jun Song, Big Brother, Manhattan Digest — Credit to: Gold Derby

5. Jun Song- Big Brother 4

Jun played an absolutely outstanding game in Big Brother 4. She masterfully manipulated her ex Je and then when the time came she got rid of him as he was a huge threat to win this game in the end. Knowing this to be true, she aligned with the most hated person in the house (Alison) and watch Allie take person after person out including Robert in the end. Alison had so much blood on her hands, that Jun was clearly viewed as the lesser of two evils and won the game (rightfully so). Using something as simple as cooking is incredible and played a big part of her winning as well. I think Jun’s win is very underestimated and she played a much better game than anyone else in that house.

Ian Terry, Manhattan Digest, Big Brother — Credit to: Wikia

4. Ian Terry- Big Brother 14

I had a hunch that Ian had this game on lock from a very early stage. He was really the only person to see how Dan was operating in the game, which is why he focused on aligning with him to the end where several jury members were bitter and angry towards the BB10 winner. Now usually I can’t stand when the jury angrily votes for the lesser of two people to win a game (See: Lisa), however Ian really did play such an amazing strategic, mental and physical game that it made sense for him to win in the end. He went from student to master in a matter of two months. That my friends, is amazing.

Derrick Levasseur, Manhattan Digest, Big Brother — Credit to: fansofrealitytv.com

3. Derrick LeVasseur- Big Brother 16

I wasn’t really a fan of BB16 as it was full of a bunch of people who really didn’t understand how to play the game. Derrick however, was not one of those people. Derrick brilliantly made it through to the end of the game by forming The Hitmen alliance that brutally took each and every person out of the game, and just like Maggie did to Ivette, he had Cody take out the last remaining player in Victoria which rode him to victory. The fact that he made it that far in the game to final three and was never on the nomination block is a testament to how amazing he played the game.

Dan Gheesling, Manhattan Digest, Big Brother — Credit to: Wikia

2. Dan Gheesling- Big Brother 10

I find that every generation of Big Brother has its legendary winners. The first was someone who I will be writing about shortly, the latter is Derrick and in the middle we have Dan Gheesling. Dan could’ve easily been second out in BB10 after his alliance member Brian got the boot in week one. However Dan took that downfall and completely reversed it for himself by allowing the rest of the houseguests to implode on each other and take each other out each week. He aligned with Memphis all the way to the end where he won the game easily as people saw Dan’s game as superior over Memphis. Job well done.

Manhattan Digest, Will Kirby, Big Brother — Credit to: Wikia

1. Will Kirby- Big Brother 2

The Michael Jordan of Big Brother. Don’t need to write much here. If you have watched since the beginning, you know why Will is viewed as the best player to ever play this game, and how he should be the only two time winner besides Dan for his amazing effort in BB All Stars. Legend.

Bad Teacher is Better Than I Thought It Would Be

by Michael Tyminski

Bad Teacher: Thursdays at 9:30 on CBS

Last week, when discussing FX’s new take on Fargo, I brought up the fact that movie rehashes seem to be in vogue this year. However, what makes this year’s version seem considerably more different is that CBS, which tends to be more likely to stick to it’s own way of multi-cam comedies and procedurals seems considerably more game to jump in on these trends as it’s rating slowly descend back to earth. September’s Hostages was part of a cluster of hostage crises, January’s Intelligence was similar to ABC’s the assets, and tonight’s Bad Teacher is part of a string of movie adaptations we can expect to see over the next few months.

This version of Bad Teacher comes with a very fairly similar (if slightly more open ended) path of the original movie. Trophy wife Meredith Davis (Ari Graynor ) is kicked to the curb by her wealthy husband, and is forced to work as a middle school teacher while looking for a new sugar daddy. In this new world, she encounters a number of faculty members, including a stodgy faculty president (Kristin Davis )and a gym teacher from her past (Ryan Hansen) who show some skepticism about this new faculty member.

Typically, I find that CBS comedies tend to feel pretty monotonous in terms of their pacing, their jokes, and their styles. Instead, we get an interesting mix that combines zippy punchlines with a touch of surrealism and some great moments where Meredith goes on rants with much delusions of grandeur. For me the mixture was fairly reminiscent of a show like Sex and the City, with a bubbly tone that also carried a decent mix of snark to accompany it.

A large part of the credit goes to the amazing veteran cast the producers managed to assemble. Ari Graynor is a revelation as Davis, owning her character from minute one. Backing up Graynor are some formidable comedy veterans such as Kristin Davis (Sex and the City), Sara Gilbert (Roseanne), and David Alan Grier (In Living Color). We even get some extra support from Richard Kind, playing a close friend of Meredith’s who lets her crash in their guest house.

If there is one knock on the pilot, it’s in the storytelling. While I appreciate the fact that Bad Teacher did not draw out it’s origin story too long – it’s wrapped up before the credits begin – it also seemed to shoehorn in sitcom conventions a touch awkwardly. This was particularly notable when the show went to the “heart” moment in the third act, as it created the sort of emotional whiplash when one considers that a real bond was not well formed in the initial two acts.

The Final Verdict: While I was initially skeptical, I’ll be the first to admit that Bad Teacher is the most I’ve laughed at a CBS show aside from How I Met Your Mother. It’s a fast, fun, series that doesn’t try to occupy too much mind space (perfect for both the CBS lineup and 9:30 on a Thursday). Check it out, you won’t be disappointed with it.

Friends with Better Lives Is Bland And Lifeless

by Michael Tyminski

Friends With Better Lives: Mondays at 8:30 on CBS

It’s amazing the degree to which companies will go to replicate something that was successful. For example, before Lebron James rise to primacy in the NBA, there was a long search for who the next Michael Jordan would be. In TV, weirdly enough, this concept is best applied to every network struggling to find the next Friends. NBC tried it with Coupling, ABC tried it with Happy Endings, You could argue that Fox’s New Girl is a reinterpretation of the concept, and now CBS is trying it with the similarly titled Friends with Better Lives.

Friends with Better Lives deals with the classic neuroses that come with thinking that someone else has it together better than you. It does this by contrasting friends in different stages of emotional maturity, from single to engaged, to married to divorced. The show has a number of familiar faces such as James Van Der Beek (as divorced Will), Brooklyn Decker (as newly engaged Jules) and Kevin Connolly as happily married Bobby.

The grand flaw with Friends with Better Lives is painfully simple: when you close your eyes and listen to the jokes for a minute, you would very easily mistake it for 2 Broke Girls. Both feel reliant on stock tropes and and both have a tendency to turn blatant setups into even more blatant punchlines. This can often be groan worthy when it goes into rapid-fire mode (often a Will specialty), relying on hacky wordplay. Making this wordplay even worse is the omnipresent laugh track, which seems to fill every silence on the show, even in some instances coming in before the actual punchline of the joke.

Friends with Better Lives doubles down on old and tired with it’s incredibly goofy plotting. In order to put all of the pegs in all of the right holes, it uses the most ham-handed of methods to get it’s engaged couple engaged and Will officially divorced. However, because we’re not really acclimated to the characters or their stories, both scenes feel incredibly empty, denying the sort of emotional resonance that these wham moments typically tend to have.

What saves Friends with Better Lives is it’s cast. James Van Der Beek in particular seems to be having a blast launching one-liners in rapid fire fashion whenever the occasion allows. Similarly, Rick Donald manages to hit the tone of Lowell, a smug-yet-progressive Australian with a rare sort of touch that tends to elude these sorts of shows, not allowing the character to completely devolve into the caricature that some of the main characters end up turning into (the show’s lone single character at the outset, Kate tends to be victim to this sort of treatment).

The Final Verdict: Friends with Better Lives is what would happen if you throw every CBS comedy into a blender and spit out a shiny new sitcom (to the extent that I’m surprised Chuck Lorre’s name isn’t attached to it). Unfortunately, where those other sitcoms have distinctive features that can at least make their pitch “CBS formula PLUS “insert X here” EQUALS “New Show”, Friends with Better Lives is “CBS formula” PLUS “Friends clone formula” EQUALS “A bunch of stuff we’ve already seen before”. Skip this one, and may one day the comedy gods find the right home for James Van Der Beek.

Checking In On The Networks At Mid-season: ABC And CBS

by Michael Tyminski

With the Olympic break gutting away many premieres for the next two weeks (the one notable return I’ll discuss later this week), let’s take the opportunity to see how exactly the major networks (and cable) have been faring midway through the season.

ABC: It has to have been a fairly disappointing year overall for ABC after the wholesale changes they made over the summer (especially on Tuesday nights) only to see no real advancement in positioning relative to the other networks in addition to an alarmingly high number of new shows tanking with incredible speed.

What’s working: On the positive side, ABC’s Tuesday revamp seems to have taken some hold, with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D being the strongest non-NCIS show on Tuesdays. Similarly it’s lead outs The Goldbergs and (especially) Trophy Wife have attracted some critical acclaim, even if Trophy Wife is struggling in the ratings. Fridays, with their mix of Shark Tank and family comedies also seem to be a strong point for the network, seeing how reruns of Shark Tank have become the network’s go to emergency fill over the past year.

What’s not working: Outside of Tuesdays from 8-10, ABC’s newer shows have been an unmitigated disaster. Once Upon A Time In Wonderland was not only painfully cheesy but stuck in the Thursday at 8 death slot from the get go. The Assets tanked so horribly it got eaten by the Shark Tank in two episodes. Super Fun Night ended up being not only a bad fit despite having a bankable star and a Modern Family lead in, but also evident from minute one why CBS didn’t even bother to pick up the pilot.

The biggest hole for ABC, however has been that third hour on Tuesdays. If Thursday at 8 is known as the alphabet’s death slot, then Tuesdays at 10 have to be it’s stillborn slot, as not one but two new premieres (Lucky 7 and Killer Women) have died incredibly swift, painful deaths. A good chunk of this is likely related to the fact that the network continually insists on putting understated shows immediately behind two of the most cartoonish hours on television (I don’t see how anyone could buy Trophy Wife as a viable lead in for a grim slice-of-life drama like Lucky 7).

Overall Prognosis: It feels like ABC is swiftly becoming the new NBC, only without all the amusing backstage drama that makes mocking the peacock so much fun, with it’s often bizarre scheduling decisions and inability to use it’s anchors to promote it’s other shows. There are a lot of new shows being rolled out after the Olympics, so there is still one last chance to salvage what would otherwise be a rough year.

CBS: The realities of network TV have slowly been applying to CBS after a few years of ultimately ending up in their own orbit. For the first time in a decade, CBS actually seems fairly vulnerable, as it’s numbers are much more in line with the other major networks.

What’s working: Despite all the doom and gloom I mentioned in the opening paragraph, it’s important to remember that CBS still has two of the most venerable juggernauts on broadcast airwaves in NCIS and The Big Bang Theory. The network still has a fairly deep bench all around whether it’s on the comedy side (Mike and Molly), or the drama end (in a most dire scenario, the network could easily spackle with most of it’s Friday or Sunday dramas). The best move CBS has made actually hits next year: it’s acquisition of half of the Thursday Night Football package. This move gives the network eight weeks of fairly steady ratings and allows it to debut it’s comedy lineup right in the heart of November sweeps, where high ratings matter most.

What’s not working: Mondays at 10 have become have a gaping hole in the schedule for CBS. Much like ABC’s Tuesday anchors, it’s pretty clear that the network can’t find a good fit for the slot and is using it as a dumping ground for mediocre-to-poor shows like Hostages and Intelligence. This is a huge problem as Mondays are quickly becoming a bright spot for other networks (particularly NBC and Fox), so with the removal of Monday anchor How I Met Your Mother in march, CBS’s viewership could erode most drastically on that night.

Speaking of erosion, it’s a real problem CBS has to start worrying about in the future. I’ve mentioned numerous times how CBS’s line up is starting to really show it’s age (think about its’ core shows and most of them date back to the Bush administration with half of them being in his first term and Survivor actually launching while Clinton was still president). Unfortunately, the network cannot seem to find new anchors to replace it’s existing ones: The Crazy Ones is not pulling it’s weight and neither is Mom. With the likely removal of Two and A Half Men to go with the end of How I Met Your Mother, CBS will only have Big Bang to prop up it’s newer comedies and will have to rely on shows like 2 Broke Girls , Mike and Molly, and the still fairly untested The Millers to carry the ratings load.

Overall Prognosis: CBS still rules the roost, but it also still needs to find some shows to carry it through the future, as even its’ juggernauts slowly become fossils (Big Bang Theory is in season seven, NCIS in season twelve, CSI in season fourteen.). That being said, the network is still making the right moves to continue to buy more time, hoping the network can strike gold (particularly on the comedy side of the ledger) at least once more.

Next Time: Part two of this series comes next week. Later this week, I take some time to look forward to season two of Netflix’s House of Cards.

Intelligence Works Best When Mindless

by Michael Tyminski

(L to R) Josh Holloway and Marg Helgenberger (Source: CBS) — Josh Holloway and Marg Helgenberger (Source: CBS)

Intelligence: Mondays at 10 Eastern on CBS

Is there a network that gets more out of the procedural perpetual motion machine than CBS? For what has been seemingly close to fifteen years, the network has been able to pump out a never-ending string of crime dramas from JAG to CSI and NCIS (and their respective spin-offs) to Elementary. At times, it seems like every non Good Wife or Person of Interest drama is about either policemen, detectives, or a little bit of both columns. So needless to say, when CBS has a hole to plug in their drama lineup, they know where to go, a decision that leads to more shows like tonight’s new offering.

Intelligence is about a Gabriel (Josh Holloway), a high level government operative who has a microchip planted in his head that allows him to function as a living computer, putting access to large amounts of data right at his fingertips. This information is used by Gabriel and federal government in order to protect the country from all sorts of cyber crime. Gabriel doesn’t have to go it alone however, getting aid from his director Lillian Strand (Marg Helgenberger), a secret service agent Riley Neal (Meghan Ory), and Dr. Shenandoah Cassidy (John Billingsley) who started to program to help him.

This show, much like last week’s Killer Women and Chicago PD is built around it’s action, but unlike the other two shows mentioned, it’s action scenes are built on a base of levity, whether it’s Gabriel making his escape from an Indian military base or a gun battle that trails through a black-lighted paintball venue. The camera work is hit and miss, with the cyber-rendering effects looking pretty cool (and somewhat reminiscent of Will Graham’s investigation sequences in Hannibal), but the shows tendency to quick pan through some of the action sequences can turn disorienting.

My real complaints tend to be with the writing. While Intelligence works as a interesting case-of-the-week show, it’s underlying story and characterization seem to lack depth. This is particularly egregious in the case of some of the most prominent characters: Lillian tends to get written as a stock boss reduced to stock platitudes about how they save lives while Riley’s character feels completely undefinable. Even our most central character only seems to use his gift to dote on his ex-wife, which along with his rule-breaking seem to be Gabriel’s sole character traits.

The acting as a whole is pretty solid, even if the parts aren’t insanely meaty. I appreciate in particular John Billingsley’s work as Dr. Cassidy, as he maintains enough tough guy cred in the second episode that he earned in the pilot, while also being forced to handle the comic relief scene throughout Red-X. Marg Helgenberger and Josh Holloway also deserve commendation for holding their own in spite of the mediocre material, with Holloway in particular being a strong fit for the shows numerous action scenes.

The Final Verdict: After two episodes, I’m still not entirely sure what to think about Intelligence. In the pilot, we had a lighter, less moody show that clicked and was pretty enjoyable. However, the follow up felt lacking, being much heavier and not showing any real character progression past the first episode (closing twist excluded). That being said, it seems like the sort of show that makes for more than acceptable mindless viewing, so my recommendation is to check this out, particularly if you’re into procedurals.

Fall Premieres Bring Mixed Results To The Big 4

by Michael Tyminski

With fall premieres winding down (we’re down to the CW’s Reign, NBC’s Dracula, and whatever FOX has saved for after baseball), let’s take a moment and see how the major networks fared in a fall where every network (even CBS had question marks).

So how did the major networks fare this fall? Well it was mixed to say the least with each network having some success on their schedule, but also with a number of unanswered question marks in the schedule remaining that way, this will become quite apparent as we break things down network by network.

ABC: ABC seemed to have one of the more ambitious strategies for the new fall season, blowing up it’s Dancing with the Stars and Extreme Makeover Tuesdays in order to pave the way for new scripted material. The anchor show on that night, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has been a success, holding down the number three drama slot in the ratings. The rest of the night, however, has been an unmitigated disaster with the comedy hour struggling, and Lucky 7 registering so nonexistently on everyone’s radar that the show got the dubious honor of being the first show axed of the year (two episodes in, typically reserved for the Do No Harms of the world). I wonder if part of this is scheduling related, as it seems weird to pair up a show that will likely do well with males 18-49 with a two family comedies and a slice of life drama and expect audiences to stay from your massively hyped lead in. Elsewhere on the schedule, ABC has had a number of flops including Once Upon A Time in Wonderland (doing horribly in the ratings) and Super Fun Night.

CBS: The last remaining network juggernaut maintains that position for another year, and does so again on the back of it’s veteran series. However, it too struggled with it’s newer offerings (almost all of which were comedies this year). We Are Men also received a two-and-out, The Crazy Ones is bleeding viewers week to week, and Mom’s numbers have not been particularly successful. There has been one new success story for CBS, however, and it comes in the form of the Will Arnett vehicle The Millers, which takes full advantage of its’ Big Bang Theory lead in. While the Tiffany network seems in very strong shape in the short term, it can not be pleased with its’ long term picture.

FOX: Fox continues what seems to be a major trend across all four networks this year: success on the drama front, with serious questions on the comedy side of the schedule. While Sundays continue to chug along with the Animation Domination block, we can already see that Seth McFarlane’s cache is starting to run out of steam with the network. American Dad is being scuttled off to TBS, The Cleveland Show saw the cancellation ax last year, and his new offering Dads feels like an unmitigated disaster. Unfortunately, that poison has run all the way through Fox’s Tuesday comedy block, as freshman Brooklyn Nine-Nine and sophomore The Mindy Project both also have sagging ratings on Tuesdays (this is a shame, as I particularly like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and feel it got hurt by drawing Agents as direct competition). However, Fox has succeeded in shoring up its’ dramas, adding Sleepy Hollow as a success story as it has already been renewed for a second season (no back-order however in order to make room for The Following).

NBC: Last year, NBC looked for success by following a strong two prong strategy: using The Voice to set up successful dramas, and making it’s comedy as lifeless and watered down as possible in order to reboot the line-up. The drama prong, succeeded, while the comedy side ended with every new show getting canceled and the network relying on decidedly not generic Community and Parks and Recreation to hold the fort for another year. This year, they went back to the same well– with the same results. The Blacklist, which followed The Voice on Mondays scored the first back-order of the year while the comedy block is once again in shambles. Parks and Recreation, thrown to the wolves against the Big Bang Goliath is down in the ratings, while The Michael J. Fox show is the only other show averaging above a 1.0. The biggest hole however, is at 8:30, where Welcome to the Family failed to be welcomed into America’s homes and is effectively on death watch until NBC can pull Community (which has quickly turned into NBC’s Rules of Engagement as a show that solely gets renewed to plug holes) from the bench to stabilize ratings. Regardless, after the past two years, I wouldn’t be surprised to see NBC try something new next year, possibly swapping it’s comedy Thursday with it’s drama Wednesday to hold the fort, because this is not a sustainable business model for the peacock.

The CW: It seems weird that the network I have to most to say positively about is the CW. While this may in fact be because they do not have a single comedy on their fall schedule (did I mention this has been a particularly atrocious year for comedy?), I think it’s predominantly because they know what they’re aiming for and one of the stronger premieres of the season in The Tomorrow People. Their other big debut, Reign hits Thursday (i’ll be reviewing it here at Manhattan Digest, likely will be up Friday afternoon), so theoretically the CW gets an incomplete, but is already miles ahead of where they were last spring when they stuck us with Cult.

A Heavy Hand On The Premise Sinks We Are Men

by Michael Tyminski

We Are Men: Mondays at 8:30 Eastern on CBS

It seems like more often than not, there’s often some rhyme, reason, or pattern of what makes it to air, especially on the big four networks. Either the network execs are cashing in on a current cultural trend, a hot-button issue, trying out some new revolutionary concept, or just blatantly aping what CB—ahem, lead dog is doing to get its’ ratings edge. However, occasionally we see a show slip through the cracks that seems to exist solely as some sort of weird outlier that seems out of place both on the air and on it’s place in the network schedule (the clearest example of this being last fall when Whitney was stuck between two other shows that clearly share an audience in Dateline and Grimm). This year, that outlier seems to be We Are Men.

We Are Men picks up when Carter (Chris Smith) is left at the altar by his bride, only to move into a short-term housing complex in order to pick up the pieces of his life. While there, he befriends three other men in similar predicaments: Gil, a small business owner (Kal Penn), Frank, a middle aged clothier (Tony Shalhoub), and Stuart, an OB/GYN who’s going through his second divorce (Jerry O’ Connell). Together, these men try to mentor Carter through his situation while hanging out poolside.

This pilot feels like a tale of two pilots, there’s the overwrought origin story where Carter is under the thumb of his domineering fiancee’. This pilot is kind of a mess, as it forces us to go in the same circle twice: once in speed mode in the first five minutes, and then seemingly out of nowhere a second time over the back end of the show. Unfortunately, the whirlwind retelling of the story feels incredibly plodding leaving to an overwrought scene at the chapel where we for the second time have it repeatedly beaten into our head how lousy Carter’s relationship really was.

The second pilot is a show about nothing, and this angle is considerably more enjoyable. While Gil, Frank, and Stuart, aren’t particularly well filled in (it is a pilot, after all), We Are Men shows more promise when our principal characters are bouncing off of each other, and the cast does an excellent job displaying that easy rapport. It’s the little moments in general that are We Are Men‘s strength, most notably a cameo by Dave Foley as Carter’s father, a man who truly appreciates his hard-boiled eggs.

The Final Verdict: Many sitcom pilots tend to be fairly well removed from the original pilot by the middle of it’s first season, and We Are Men is no exception to that rule. In this case, it’s probably for the best, as there isn’t much of a story in this origin and the premise is pounded into you from the pilot. I also think this show could benefit from a potential mid-season schedule swap with The Crazy Ones, as We Are Men makes more sense with a Two and a Half Men lead-in. Overall, I’d probably skip this one for the time being, but wouldn’t be surprised if it became a sleeper hit should it survive past mid-season.

Mom Feels Like A Work in Progress But Shows Promise

by Michael Tyminski

Mom: Mondays at 9:30 Eastern Time on CBS

Last week, when I reviewed FOX’s abomination Dads, I mentioned how it jumped on part of a very common premise for sitcoms in the past year: adults and their parents living together under one roof due to the shaky economic time we’re in. We saw it with ABC in April when they debuted the flop How to Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life), This season we get even more of the trope with FOX’s Dads, and CBS, who has not one but two shows using the trope with The Millers,and tonight’s debut: Mom.

Mom, which comes from the same Chuck Lorre brain trust responsible for half of CBS’ comedy lineup features Anna Faris playing a single mother trying to stay afloat and care for her two kids. However, when her mother (Alison Janney) returns to her life, they immediately start butting heads. Along the way she must deal with her two kids, her hectic job, and her recovery from alcoholism. Needless to say, the show is a natural pair with current CBS’ sitcom 2 Broke Girls.

So, does this show fare any better than the other similar shows I mentioned? Well the handful of times I laughed over the course of the hour is already a handful of times more than I laughed watching Dads, (and How to Live) for that matter. Allison Janney in particular lights up the screen as Bonnie, playing the mother figure to Faris’ Christy and showing a soft touch that you typically don’t get out of a Lorre show. Faris’ does an equally serviceable job as Christy, who has to do some emotional heavy lifting as the shows first segment does not hesitate to pour gasoline on the fire of her unhappy life.

If there was a clear weakness to Mom, it’s that this episode (which admittedly is the pilot) tries to jam in way too many angles for it’s own good. Within 15 minutes we discover that Christy works as a waitress, she had at least one of her children in high school (ruining her ability to graduate and killing her hopes and dreams), her teenage daughter is sexually active, she’s sleeping with her boss, she’s in alcoholics anonymous, her kids truly hate her, that’s she’s actually the affair in that love triangle, and that it’s somehow all Bonnie’s fault. The show then struggles to revisit all of those angles over the back half of the show, creating a very overcrowded story arc that struggles to come together when the show jams them in the same place in the episode’s climax.

As a whole, the show is pretty typical Chuck Lorre fare in every respect: multi-camera, tons of laugh track, the obligatory bawdy and easy jokes, and a blue collar setting. As a result, your final opinion of the show is going to revolve around whether you tend to like most of the current CBS comedy lineup that is modeled in his image.

The Final Verdict: Mom seems to fall into the trap that many sitcoms have in the early going: there’s a ton of unpacking and it ends up hurting the precious timing that comedy relies on. However, there seems to be some bright spots, particularly between the show’s central pairing in Christy and Bonnie (which I’m sure we’ll see in larger doses than in the pilot). As a result, I see this being a wait-and-see proposition for most people, with a bump up to check it out for those who happen to have a fondness for CBS’s brand of comedy.

2013 Emmys Live Blog!

by Michael Tyminski

Source: Emmys.com

2013 Primetime Emmy Awards: Tonight at 8 p.m. on CBS

Good evening everyone! I’m Mike Tyminski and I’ll be here with you watching the Emmys tonight so you don’t have to miss Breaking Bad! Speaking of Breaking Bad, it’s up for a slew of awards tonight in Acting, Directing, and of course, Best Drama, but it will face stiff competitions from other critical darlings such as Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, Homeland, and Mad Men.

Another key storyline this year is the breakout of Netflix. The streaming service started producing original programming this year to rave reviews, and early series House of Cards and Arrested Development were both nominated for awards, with House of Cards being the sixth entry in the drama race.

While the major networks seemed to be locked out of the drama race, they seem to have a puncher’s chance in the comedy department, carried by 30 Rock and Modern Family. This is also a very strong year for females in comedy, as both Lena Dunham’s Girls and Julia Louis Dreyfuss’ Veep both received scores of nominations. Rounding out the year in Comedy is FX’s Louie. The show was hailed as ground breaking, but it’s been over a year since a new episode. Did voter’s remember Louie, or was it eclipsed by other new shows since then!

I’ll be a little before showtime (probably around 7:45) with last second news. Tonight’s show is hosted by Neal Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) on CBS.

7:55 pm: First and foremost, a small apology in advance, the Jet game is running very long on WCBS-NY (my local CBS station), so I sense that if the game goes to overtime I might be playing channel/streaming roulette at the last second. That out of the way, a couple of updates on performances tonight: First and foremost, the Elton John performance is slated to be a tribute to Liberace and will presumably be somehow tied to HBO’s Behind the Candelabra. Carrie Underwood’s performance, conversely will be tied to something considerably less related to TV, being a tribute to President John F. Kennedy who was assassinated 50 years ago this November.

In terms of tributes, the show has a particularly special tribute planned for Cory Monteith, in addition to TV heavyweights James Gandolfini, Johnathan Winters and Jean Stapleton.

That’s it for pre-show updates, see you at the beginning of the show!

8:20 pm: Conveniently, the football game ended at 7:59 pm, thus avoiding a potential joined in progress situation, so now we’re live! We open slightly late with a funny video package involving Neal Patrick Harris being forced to binge watch an entire season of TV, with all the highs, lows, weddings and dance sequences. A particularly funny part involved the TV’s giving NPH some harsh advice. NPH gives a pretty gentle monologue including a Paula Deen joke (what, not soon enough?), interruptions by last year’s host, Jimmy Kimmel, Jane Lynch, Jimmy Fallon, (Including a great zinger about tap dancing like at the Tonys), Conan O’Brien, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and a monologue by Kevin Spacey in which he mentions it was plan since he was snubbed for the hosting gig. This ends with NPH kicking it over to Fey and Poehler who present the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, and the nominees are:

Jane Krakowski (30 Rock), Jane Lynch (Glee), Sophia Vergara (Modern Family), Julie Bowen (Modern Family), Merritt Weaver (Nurse Jackie), Mayim Bialik (The Big Bang Theory), and Anna Chlumsky (Veep).

And the winner is: Merritt Weaver!

Her entire speech: Oh! Oh! **emotional tears** I gotta go. Bye!

Pretty good opening all around, and it looks like they made up for the time lost by pushing back the start 5 minutes.

8:32 pm: Malin Ackerman and LL Cool J arrive to deliver the award for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series — with a cool video forcing the nominees to say which of their writing partners is funnier and who was funniest to write for.

Jack Burditt (30 Rock), Tina Fey (30 Rock), David Crane (Episodes), Louis C.K. (Louie), and Greg Daniels (The Office).

And the winner is: Tina Fey (and Tracy Wigfield)

Tracy and Liz give a funny speech making funny speech, thanking Robert Carlock in the process!

NPH then introduces Zooey and Emily Deschanel for presenting the award for Best Supporting Actor in a comedy, making fun of the fact that half the nominees play dads on Modern Family, speaking of the nominees, they are:

Adam Driver (Girls), Ty Burrell (Modern Family), Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family), Ed O’ Neill (Modern Family), Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live) and Tony Hale (Veep).

And the winner is: Tony Hale!

I must admit, I didn’t see that one coming (despite loving Veep, i thought one of the guys from Modern Family would win). Tony gives the standard issue speech thanking his family and his co-workers at Veep

Robin Williams is here to give a tribute to Jonathan Winters, telling a story about how Jonathan Winters giving an epic improvised bit on Mork and Mindy, before a in memoriam graphic appears.

8:51 PM: Alec Baldwin and Jon Hamm come out to introduce the nominees for Best Lead Actress in a Comedy, and they are:

Tina Fey (30 Rock), Laura Dern (Enlightened), Lena Dunham (Girls), Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie), Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation), and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Veep).

And the winner is: Julia Louis-Dreyfuss

As a huge veep fan, I’ll be the first to say I’m pleased with the love Veep is getting tonight. Hale is up on stage with Louis-Dreyfuss holding her purse while she gave a very Selina Meyeresque thank you speech (With Hale interrupting and whispering in her ear).

Will Arnett and Margo Martindale then emerge, to both present the awards for Best Guest Actor/Actress on a Comedy Show (awarded last week) and promote their new show The Millers (October 3rd on CBS).

The winners were: Melissa Leo and Bob Newhart!

Leo then appears to present the award for Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series, the nominees are which:

Beth McCarthy-Miller (30 Rock), Lena Dunham (Girls), Paris Barclay (Glee), Louis C.K. (Louie) and Gail Mancuso (Modern Family).

The winner is: Gail Mancuso!

Gail gives a quick and heartfelt speech including a pun about Modern Family, and a quick joke about blurred lines before the orchestra kicks in for the first time tonight

Continuing the breakneck pace, Jimmy Kimmel and Sofia Vergara are out to present the award for Best Lead Actor in a comedy series, in which they discuss the murderous effects of laughter (“If a doctor tells you to laugh to feel better, you can SUE HIM!” — Vergara). The nominees are:

Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), Jason Bateman (Arrested Development), Matt LeBlanc (Episodes), Louis C.K. (Louie), Don Cheadle (House of Lies), and Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory)

And the winner is: Jim Parsons!

Jim gives what seems to be a continues a string of psuedo in-character acceptance speeches sounding awkward until he becomes heartfelt and suddenly wrapping it up with a long list of thank yous.

Rob Reiner is out to memorialize Jean Stapleton (Edith Bunker on All in the Family), giving a very eulogy-like memorial, he looks like he’s struggling through the speech (i’m actually tearing up a little too), before ending with a very heartfelt “I love you”.

9:05 PM: We return to NPH kicking it over to Michael Douglas and Matt Damon, who say a few words about Elton and his legendary career while nodding to Liberace, the subject of Behind the Candelabra. This brings Elton John out, who cracked a few quick jokes about Liberace, before introducing his new track “Home Again”, which is a tribute to Liberace. It’s the typical intimate Elton John piece, before shooting back over to Damon and Douglas with the nominations for the Best Lead Actress in a Movie or Miniseries, whom are:

Jessica Lange (American Horror Story: Asylum), Helen Mirren (Phil Spector), Sigourney Weaver (Political Animals), Laura Linney (The Big C: Hereafter), and Elisabeth Moss (Top of the Lake).

The winner is: Laura Linney!

Laura Linney could not appear, so Damon accepts on her behalf (she’s such a good actress she didn’t need to be here! — Damon)

9:20 PM: We come back to a video package with NPH’s co-stars on How I Met Your Mother discussing EHD, (Excessive Hosting Disorder), including a cameo from Arsenio Hall and

Connie Britton and Blair Underwood appear to present the award for Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series, and the nominees are:

George Mastras (Breaking Bad), Thomas Schuuz (Breaking Bad), Julian Fellowes (Downton Abbey), David Benioff (Game of Thrones), and Henry Bromiell (Homeland)

And the winner is: Henry Brommel

Accepting on behalf of Henry Brommel (posthumously) is his wife Sarah Brommel.

They also present Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series, the nominees of which are:

Anna Gunn (Breaking Bad), Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey), Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones), Morena Baccarin (Homeland), Christina Hendricks (Mad Men), and Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)

The winner is: Anna Gunn (cue Skylar haters losing their mind and Breaking Bad fans rejoicing at a potential foreshadowing of a cleanup night).

Anna gives a long winded version of the standard acceptance speech, being the second person to draw the ire of the orchestra tonight.

Jane Lynch is out to memorialize Cory Monteith of Glee. She appealed to Cory’s positive traits in a very brief speech while not shying away from the cause of his death.

9:31 PM: NPH, comes out to perform a song and dance number called “the number in the middle of the show”. It’s a brief Broadway ditty designed to mock award show patterns, by questioning why there are fewer mid show numbers compared to their opening and closing counterparts, with interruptions by Nathan Fillion and Sarah Silverman. After the whole song and dance number, he introduces Mindy Kaling and Stephen Amell who are out to present the award for Best Reality Competition, the nominees of which are:

Dancing With The Stars, Project Runway, So You Think You Can Dance?, Amazing Race, The Voice, Top Chef.

And the winner is: The Voice

The Voice finally triumphs over The Amazing Race for best reality show and we’ll get to see some new…oh wait it’s Mark Burnett, who at this point IS reality TV. Once again we have the standard issue speech, but he manages to sneak in a plug for The Voice, which i’m sure CBS execs are absolutely pleased to hear.

9:49 PM: We’re about halfway through the show at this point, so some quick overall thoughts — the show is moving at an incredibly brisk pace with a lot of awards handed out (if the Oscars are about bracketology, then the Emmys are the most likely about trying to honor everyone in the industry with the strongest emphasis on the awards themselves), but also a lot of downers, probably in part caused by the three memorials sprinkled in that felt more like eulogies then celebrations of life. While the mid-show number existed to try and bring things back up

Diane Carroll and Kerry Washington arrive to present the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Carroll gives a heartfelt speech about race and the Emmys.

Bobby Cannavale (Boardwalk Empire), Johnathan Banks (Breaking Bad), Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad), Jim Carter (Downton Abbey), Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones), and Mandy Patinkin (Homeland).

And the winner is: Bobby Cannavale

Cannavale is flabbergasted and is trying to improvise a speech, before giving credit to Mandy Patinkin as an inspiration. There was a truly great moment of unintentional comedy, as the soft notes of the orchestra hit as he’s describing his character on Boardwalk Empire beating someone with a wrench.

Julianna Marguilies and Dylan McDermott are out to present the award for Best Lead Actor in a Drama, the nominees are:

Bryan Cranston (who got a large pop, Breaking Bad), Hugh Bonneville (Downton Abbey), Damian Lewis (Homeland), Kevin Spacey (House of Cards), Jon Hamm (Mad Men), and Jeff Daniels (The Newsroom)

And the winner is: Jeff Daniels

Daniels is out cracking jokes, mentioning that his last acting award was from the AARP, the orchestra has clearly no patience for such foolery though. I think it’s safe to say this has been our biggest upset of the night so far.

We go from two funny acceptance speeches back to somber mode immediately, as we see a newsreel of JFK’s death. Don Cheadle appears to introduce Carrie Underwood’s tribute to JFK performance. Cheadle then brings up Beatlemania, and how it unified the country after JFK’s death (something most musicians and/or historians will probably question). Carrie then belts out “Yesterday”, but it seemed fairly overdone — is it weird that I wouldn’t have minded seeing Elton John perform double duty? Ugh, that whole segment made less sense than Monday’s episode of Sleepy Hollow.

10:10 PM: NPH introduces both the accountants of Ernst and Young, as well as Jimmy Fallon who is here to present the award for Best Lead Actress in a Drama Series, which are:

Vera Farmiga (Bates Motel), Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey), Claire Danes (Homeland), Robin Wright (House of Cards), Elizabeth Moss (Mad Men), Kerry Washington (Scandal), and Connie Britton (Nashville).

And the winner is **drumroll**: Claire Danes

Danes gives kudos to the writers, before giving a quick tribute to Henry Bromell and everyone who works on the show.

Dean Norris and Emilia Clarke are here to give mention to Best Guest Actors in a Drama Series (awarded last week).

The winners were: Dan Bukitinsky, and Kerry Preston whom are here to announce the award for Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series, and the nominees are:

Tim Van Patten (Boardwalk Empire), Michelle McLaren (Breaking Bad), Jeremy Webb (Downton Abbey), Lesli Linka Glatter (Homeland), and David Fincher (House of Cards).

And the winner is: David Fincher

And at 10p.m on September 22, 2013, let it be said: Netflix. has. arrived. Fincher is not here to accept the award.

Jim Parsons and Bob Newhart are here to present the award for Outstanding Writing for a Variety Program. Parsons mentions Newhart’s award, and the crowd gives him a long standing ovation. And the nominees are the teams for:

Jimmy Kimmel Live, Portlandia, Real Time w/Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live, Colbert Report, The Daily Show w/Jon Stewart

And the winner is: The Colbert Report

Colbert is here to accept the award, and gives a surprisingly heartfelt speech.

Parsons and Newhart follow up with the nominees for Best Directing in a Variety Show, which are:

Andy Fisher (Jimmy Kimmel Live), Jerry Foley (Late Show w/David Letterman), Jonathan Krisel (Portlandia), Don Roy King (Saturday Night Live), James Hoskinson (Colbert Report), and Chuck O’Neil (The Daily Show w/Jon Stewart).

And the winner is: Don Roy King

King gives an uplifting speech, about working at his dream job at Saturday Night Live, that easily is the third most positive moment tonight.

Michael J. Fox is here to speak about Gary David Goldberg, thus proving that we cannot go two consecutive segments without talking about death. Fox’s speech feels like a celebration of Goldberg’s life, including his distinctive laugh.

10:27 PM: NPH returns to present the award for Outstanding Choreography, and reality show style, they bring the choreographers together to do a “making of” sort of video package. The package itself seems to be built around some of the best nominees in their categories, including Mad Men, American Horror Story, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, and Breaking Bad, and the theme of luck using both “Luck Be A Lady” and “Get Lucky”. Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum get to do the honors of presenting the award.

And the winner is: Derek Hough (Dancing with the Stars)

Alyson Hannigan and Colbie Smaulders are here to present the award for Outstanding Variety Show, the nominees of the award are:

Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and Real Time With Bill Maher.

And the winner is: The Colbert Report! The student has finally overtaken the master, as this is the first time in recent memory that The Daily Show has not taken the award for best variety series. Colbert mentions Stewart in his speech before giving a brief nod to his family.

Edie Falco is here to talk about James Gandolfini in the last of our memorial segments tonight. She talks about Gandolfini as an actor, mentioning that he was not the same as the man you saw on your TV screens every Sunday night for seven years. Not sure i’m fond of these memorial sub segments, as they seem to take away from the celebratory mood in the way the one segment long form memorial doesn’t.

10:42 :PM Anna Faris and Allison Janney are here to promote Mom and present the award for Outstanding Writing in a Miniseries, Movie or Special, and the nominees are:

Richard LaGravenese (Behind The Candelabra), Tom Stoppard (Parade’s End), David Mamet (Phil Spector), Abi Morgan (The Hour), and Jane Campion and Gerard Lee (Top of the Lake).

And the winner is: Abi Morgan

They also present the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries, Movie, or Special of which the nominees are:

Zachary Quinto (American Horror Story: Asylum), James Cromwell (American Horror Story: Asylum), Scott Bakula (Behind the Candelabra), John Benjamin Hickey (The Big C: Hereafter), and Peter Mullan (Top of the Lake)

And the winner is: James Cromwell

Cromwell gives a simple speech that is notable for being the first the orchestra hasn’t teed off on since around 9p.m.

Kaley Cuoco and the president of the Academy are here to discuss the Archive of American Television (a funny cut-away where Kevin Spacey shoos away the camera that cuts to him on mention of the word “tablet”). This then leads into yet another memorial segment (that makes seven if we count JFK?).

10:50 PM. Mark Harmon and Andre Braugher are here to present the awards for Best Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or Special, and they are:

Steven Soderbergh (Behind the Candelabra), David Mamet (Phil Spector), Alison Anders (Ring of Fire), Julian Jarrold (The Girl), and Jane Campion and Garth Davis (Top of the Lake).

And the winner is: Steven Soderbergh

Soderbergh gives a quick speech, thanking Michael and Matt for their performances in the movie, only for Mark Harmon to return looking completely surprised, before bringing up the nominees for Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries Movie or Special. The nominees are:

Sarah Paulson (American Horror Story: Asylum), Ellen Burstyn (Political Animals), Charlotte Rampling (Restless), Alfre Woodard (Steel Magnolias), and Imelda Stulton (The Girl).

The Winner Is: Ellen Burstyn

We get the usual set of thank yous, with a particular thank you to the writers, who she said “wrote a woman over 65 who still has juice.

11:01 PM: It’s almost 11 when the show is supposed to leave the air, and we still have four awards (including three big ones) and hopefully zero memorials.

Bryan Cranston (looking quite dapper and gracious) and Claire Danes arrive to present two awards: first for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie of which the nominees are:

Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra), Matt Damon (Behind the Candelabra), Benedict Cumberbatch (Parade’s End), Al Pacino (Phil Spector), and Toby Jones (The Girl).

The winner is: Michael Douglas

Douglas comes out and thanks Matt Damon only catch a verbal slip about a “two-hander”, before asking if Damon wants the bottom or top half of the statue. The orchestra eventually chimes in, but it seems like Michael Douglas got a much longer leash than just about anyone else here tonight.

The second award is for Best Movie, Miniseries, or Special of which the nominees are:

American Horror Story: Asylum, Behind the Candelabra, Phil Spector, Political Animals, The Bible, Top of the Lake.

And the winner is: Behind the Candelabra (which took it’s 11th Emmy)

Accepting on behalf of the team is Jerry Weintraub. He thanks his production team and the fine folks at HBO.

We’re down to Best Drama and Best Comedy, right after the break.

11:11 PM: Will Ferrell (and kids) are here to present the final awards of the night in a T-shirt and Short, first of which is for best comedy series, the nominees of which are:

Girls, Louie, Veep, Modern Family, 30 Rock, and The Big Bang Theory

And the winner is: Modern Family

Color me surprised on this one, Veep got a ton of love earlier in the night, and Louie was hailed as one of the most brilliant comedies of the year. Maybe the lay-off killed it. Similarly seems like a disappointing night for Girls Modern Family’s speech mocked the tone of the night, stating “it may have been the saddest Emmy’s ever, but we couldn’t be happier.” the speech also thanked our bullies and gym teachers, which led to a super aggressive orchestra entry, but was actually very heartwarming.

That leaves the last award for Best Drama Series, the nominees of which are:

Breaking Bad, Mad Men, House of Cards, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Homeland

And the winner is: Breaking Bad

I think the crowd would have rioted if any other result had been the case. Vince Gilligan does the acceptance honors, and admits that he did not expect to win in this new golden age in TV. He gives a pretty standard acceptance speech otherwise, before NPH quickly does goodbyes and we get credits over generic music.

I’ll have some final thoughts for you in just a few minutes.

11:22 PM: So, 3 hours and 3500 hundred words later, what are my thoughts on the show as a whole? Well, for starters it was quite the downer. Awards shows should –in theory– be a celebration of the industry, the people in it, and the work they’ve done. The celebratory moments weren’t really there for the most part, and the parade of eulogies had much to do with it. Additionally, the comedy, while obviously on a gentler tack than usual, seemed a little too safe at points. If you DVR’d it to watch Breaking Bad, don’t waste your time, if you DVR’d it to watch Dexter, well then I’m sorry that you created that false dichotomy. But either way, the model where they robotically blow through awards to make time for seven memorial segments should be tossed.

NEXT TIME: This week is premiere week, I should have reviews for shows from Monday to Thursday this week! Have a good night everyone!

CBS

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