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bullying

Bullying exists in the gay world. Yup.

by Ryan Shea

Bullying
Bullying
Credit to: bullyingproject.com

This is an article that I could write a whole novel on, heck turn in into a series like “Twilight” or something.  I could also write from an extremely pessimistic and somewhat “bitchy” point of view, yet I want my point to get across without sounding like that.  So I will do my best to stay focused and not go off the narrow end of anger and frustration towards the gay community.

As the title of this article states, bullying really does exist in the gay world.  Whether people want to admit it or not, it is there, and it’s rampant. I find this to be more true in big cities like New York and Atlanta and not so much in towns and smaller, lesser known communities.  For five years I lived in Providence, Rhode Island for school.  There is where I truly was able to be myself and out, and actually found a really great group of guys who weren’t judgemental and had me apart of their circle without judgement or negativity.

I, foolishly, thought the same when I moved back to New York in 2009 and attempted to do the same here in terms of making friends.  The result was completely the opposite.  I learned that in big cities like this, you have to draw a very fine line in order to get respect and a good group of friends along with that.  If you come across as too friendly and nice, you are viewed as a huge slut.  If you come across as reserved and quiet, you are seen as a wallflower or a dickhead.  Either way, it’s not easy.  I learned that the hard way when I started becoming friends with a certain group of guys who within a month turned on me, and I saw first hand just how truly vile people can really be.

I never was bullied in high school or growing up, in fact I was pretty well liked by the majority of my school because I was outgoing and just plain nice to people.  This experience made me think of the people, both men and women, who actually were teased and bullied growing up, relate to them after the experience I dealt with.  Especially with cyber bullying. I got a glimpse from a friend about a never ending update someone made about me, and I couldn’t even read the whole thing.  Words thrown around like “Desperate”, “Fat F**k”, “Slut” and many others were used so freely mainly from people who I don’t know or barely even met.  I sat there, thinking “what did I do wrong”?

Then it made me think further.  The gay community for the most part, is high school 2.0.  Especially the bears.  It is designed for many men who were in fact teased growing up, to form a group of men and treat others how they were treated for their own satisfaction.  There are ones that do it in a variety of arenas, elitist ones who feel because they go to the gym 5-6 hours a day that they are better than everyone else, and a ton others.  Quite frankly, its pathetic.  Will it ever end? No.  Because the shallow end of the sea is where many men prefer to be.  Many need to grow up and realize what they are doing to others is wrong.  I am not the only one that has endured this, I know several personally that do it.  It is a sick cycle that I wish would just stop.

I think Dan Savage and his whole “It Gets Better” movement really is a fantastic one, and I completely get it.  Sadly, these kids who do realize it does get better and come out (which is already a hurdle in itself) have to face a whole other hurdle in coming into the gay community.  My advice to everyone is stay strong, be yourself, and fuck what everyone else thinks.  I learned that the hard way, but I am glad to have that mentality.  If you go through life always knowing who you are and are secure in that aspect, you won’t let these douchebags get you down in the least.  Be you.

Thanks for listening to my rant 🙂

Filed Under: BREAKING NEWS, LIFESTYLE, NEW YORK, OPINION, U.S. Tagged With: atlanta, bear, bullying, community, gay, NEW YORK, providence, rhode island, teased

An interview with Snooki and JWOWW at Rupauls Drag Race

by Ryan Shea

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Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWOWW” Farley are best known as MTV’s “Jersey Shore” superstars. Last night they were hosts at the premiere party for the fifth season of “Rupaul’s Drag Race”, taking place at Club XL in the heart of Times Square.

They were looking their finest last night when I introduced myself. Dressed like Hollywood Starlets they stole the show with their appearance. As we gathered together for our interview they thought they recognized me, to which I replied “Nope, first time for both”. Snooki replied- “You got a twin out there somewhere”. I don’t really know if there can be two Ryan Shea’s in this world, that might be too much for people to handle. This was a brief interview where we focused questions around hosting an event for the LGBT and how the LGBT cause rings true in their own lives.

It turns out JWOWW and I have more in common than our good looks and large breasts.
We are both from Long Island, JWOWW reps Franklin Square, I rep East Northport.

What is your favorite restaurant is on the island?
JWOWW replied “Easton”. Never heard of it before but thats not a surprise seeing as she is a Nassau County girl. JWOWW’s eyes lit up as I told her my restaurant, in all of the other hemisphere / Long Island, is “All American Burger” in Massapequa. JWOWW then informed me that “All American Burger” is both “the place you can get a to go burger” and simultaneously “get a white girl wasted”. I will remember that one girl!

“We just love that we are just so much more mature than a lot of people.”
Snooki replied, as I asked both girls if either were aware as to how famous they had gotten from the show. Jenni simply shook her head and said “No”. as Snooki continued “We get a lot of hate, and the fact that fans support us, look up to us and tell us that we don’t really care what people say about you makes us feel good.”

Snooki and JWOWW deal with bullying on daily basis.

They choose do continue being themselves because “their fans support them and because of who they are as women”.  They have been longtime supporters of the LGBT community but rose to prominence in this community after they posed for the cover of Next Magazine.

“We want to make this community acceptable around the world, not just in cities like New York and Los Angeles”. “We want to scream it through the rooftops that this is a great community, and you have to accept it”.

Snooki brought up some personal relationships, “I have three best friends I go to- Brad, Joey and Derrick. They are all gay and fabulous”. We then talk about how it’s essential to have a gay friend as we will tell you the outfit you are wearing doesn’t look great as opposed to you buying something and us lying to you about it. That’s what friends are for.

When I asked what their future plans are, JWOWW hopes for a season three of Snooki & JWOWW, where as Snooki simply says, “I want her to get pregnant” while looking at JWOWW.

As the briefinterview winded down I left with a positive impression of both ladies, that they genuinely had altruistic reasons to support at an event like this. They are using their celebrity for the better and I think they are doing a damn good job at it!

Filed Under: BREAKING NEWS, LIFESTYLE, TELEVISION, uncategorized Tagged With: all american burger, bullying, jersey shore, jwoww, long island, massapequa, rupaul, rupauls drag race, snooki

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