prostitution

The boogie down Bronx got the party started well after dark. Perhaps it was the proximity of apartment buildings that line the Grand Concourse, a street name that suffered from delusions of grandeur. However, my Grindr application kept me distracted while Tiny entertained his guests behind a closed door.

We arrived by taxi to an eclectic neighborhood. Tiny was formidable, at 7ft tall in heels. He was brought down to earth when he pulled his dress up and started peeing in the middle of the street. The inevitable pit stop concluded after a long night of binge drinking at Secrets, where I told Miss America to not let those hoes hate on her. How classy and delightful! She laughed and I bought another cocktail.

I accompanied Tiny to the Bronx, because the trek to Brooklyn was endless. So, there we were walking, until we ran into his husband, who was heading out to start his shift at some fast food institution. However, I had no idea that was license for Tiny to start his shift as well. Who had time to do hair when you can suck and go for ten minutes per session? You don’t even have to go to college to learn that. It’s a trade he picked up at night school on the corner of Teen Pregnancy and Abortion.

Four guys and four hours later, his blond mane and smeared make-up made him look exhausted. His night time drag was show time for his sex sessions. Drag is the thing when dealing with sex zombies in the neighborhood. He handled the men one at a time like a self-checkout line—CVS style. No CVS card required. One more guy probably would have gotten us free burgers and fries.

Instead he charged $20 for each joyride, whether the client got off or not. Apparently, they had 15 minutes to reach their euphoric destination. You can tell, which ones did based upon their facial expressions when they left the room.

“You going to do me like that,” he said. “I’m a good customer.”

Tiny dismissed him and brought the next one in. Survey says out of the four candidates, two smiles, a frown, and a blank expression equipped with a limp were recorded. The findings were inclusive.

As the sun soared, I began to reflect on the events that transpired, until Tiny appeared at the entrance of his doorway, naked with two hands covering his Yankee doodle. Was the gateway to $20 happy meals opening up for me? Some portals should remain closed, and luckily for me it did.

“At $20 a pop, does that make me a prostitute?” Tiny asked. “Well, I don’t care. I made my cab money back.”

I shrugged my shoulders and took another sip of wine. I couldn’t handle hard news before noon.

Warning Contents Under Pressure — Source: yourtattoosucks.com

Pressure to stand out, to be respected, to be yourself and be proud, to make money and establish a good career…the list goes on and on as to the pressures that we put on ourselves and the pressures that we feel from society. One of the biggest pressures many people face is to have a career that is “respectable” in the eyes of others; the concept that somehow our worth as a person is valued by what we do for money or work.

One of the most highly criticized professions and one that typically does not fit the mold is exchanging sex for money. It is common that people are disrespected, demoralized and demeaned for choosing sex work as a job. One could say this is due to aspects of religion infiltrating the way people think of sex, and convincing them that it is wrong, unless procreating. Otherwise, you should be cast aside for using sex as a way to make money. However, it is not uncommon to hear the same kind of bashing from non-religious folks.

Due to rampant bashing and disrespect, it is not surprising how some people who work in the sex industry struggle with seeing value in their work. Yes, one could argue, “Well we shouldn’t allow what others think to affect how we feel about ourselves,” however, we all know that in some way with enough time, all those judgments do end up having an adverse effect in some way or another. It takes a lot of courage to put one’s sexuality out in the open and to be proud of it. It takes strength to not be broken down by negative comments about how you could look better or how your sexual composure is a turn off to some.

In the past year there have been several porn stars that have passed for different reasons. More recently, Arpad Miklos’ death has again raised the question in many as to what may be contributing to the amount of deaths amongst gay porn stars. Nobody will ever really know the reason or reasons why somebody chooses to take their life, whether it is done passively or actively. We can, however, respectfully speculate on some possible reasons that may have influenced this decision.

Men who have sex with men and choose to become porn actors in the sex industry deal with a large amount of scrutiny from the LGBT community and society at large. Some place them as role models or sexual ideals, while others demonize them for spreading the stereotype that gay men are only about sex, and for choosing sex work as a career. Lately, the economy has greatly affected porn actors’ pay rates and their ability to make a living, thereby increasing their financial stress and instability. The stigma of working in the sex industry, along with managing general mental health issues and job transitions due to lack of work within porn, can bring on circumstantial depression for some folks who were once stars. Here again comes the pressure…the pressure to somehow make it work despite all barriers that are present. Perhaps these could all be contributing factors leading someone to feel alone and with limited options.

We live in a society that values your worth by what you do for work. So if you don’t fit the mold of what is respectable, then you’re not allowed to feel worthy of yourself. Changing how the mass majority views sex work is a tall order, but changing the availability for health benefits is more achievable in the short term. What would it be like if sex work was respected and not demonized? What if sex workers who provide escort services were able to work through a company that provides physical safety, health care and mental health support? What if a porn company could provide its models with career transition assistance along with physical and mental health care?

People who work in the sex industry deserve the same amount of deference as any one else. The amount of people that watch pornography seems to be skyrocketing, so there is an obvious increasing demand for it. Yet, once your orgasm is over from watching a porn clip, then suddenly the people that provided you with the opportunity to be visually stimulated and have a moment of stress relief, are no longer valued as important enough to be respected?

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