It is a magical world when you can combine two of my favorite types of sweets, chocolate and ice cream, and put them together in one tasty and delicious place. Well, one particular brand plans to do that with the warmer weather coming and Ice Cream season being in full season in a matter of weeks, if not days. MAGNUM New York will be bringing together the worlds of premium chocolate and ice cream in an indulgent, interactive store experience unlike any other, starting on April 23rd in SoHo. [Read more…] about Magnum Launches Premium Chocolate & Ice Cream Store in April
As someone who has been in the bear and gay community for a little over ten years now (I am wondering when I am getting my sash or pin for all the hard work I have done. Emphasis on hard hehe), I have come to find a bevy of terms that gay men have come up to describe their physical appearance. Albeit a twink, cub, muscle bear, otter, wolf, and a new one that I heard recently, ram (big horns and like to charge. Giggity.) there is always going to be some terminology involved in describing yourself or to your friends about the guy you hung out with last night/cruised/hated for whatever reason possible.
Recently, I have discovered a brand new term that really doesn’t have much to do with physical appearance at all- Bearlebrity. This is a term that unlike words like “Chocolate” or “Buy One Get One Free Burrito at Chipotle” has a very negative connotation attached to it, yet for some reason no one really seems to pinpoint what it actually means. I recently made this a status update for my friends to reply and divulge what their true meaning of the word was, and the responses were plentiful and vastly different. Take a look at what people (who will be kept anonymous) thinks about what a Bearlebrity really is-
- “To me, a Bearlebrity is a guy who takes a zillion selfies each day just to get the satisfaction of the 300 likes they will get, many are from men that they have never met before. On top of the likes follows with 30 or 40 comments ranging from the same old shit such as “Grrr!” “Woof” or the tragic “I wish I was that cupcake (said bear is eating cupcake in photo)” and the added likes onto each comment made. They are narcissistic, rude and what is the worst about this community.”
- “It’s a myth, that term. It’s a label of status that a person generally uses only when they are talking about themselves. It’s a self-absorbed type of thing and a word that is rarely tossed around in social settings.”
- “A big hairy gay celeb. :)”
- “A “Bearlebrity” is a self-imposed title for someone who considers themselves popular and influential within the bear community. Another question that needs to be asked, is why the Bear community insists on putting “Bear” as a pre-fix in front of everything. What once was charming and humorous now comes across like Smurf Speak.”
- “An individual lacking in self esteem.”
- “Yet again, people who are stared at by other people have negative stories made up about them in order to make the starers feel better about themselves after they have made themselves feel bad.”
- “I think of bear performers. People like Kendall Kelly that make a living touring and performing at bear runs and such.”
- “I use this term all the time. Not derogatorily. In my opinion, it’s someone in the bear community who has high public visibility. They may own bear brands, organize events, DJ bear dances, act in bear films, model bear brands, have bear themed Facebook pages…etc.”
- “The most common bear term I have heard being used BY the people calling themselves it, is A-List Bears. Yes, I have heard people call themselves this. I mostly bear see Bearlebrity used by “others” to describe someone who is super popular in bear world. I think i may have heard once or twice someone call themselves that.”
Those weren’t even all the comments, but if you get the gist of the above it seems to be that this still has a negative viewpoint to it but there are some that think differently and use the term in a positive angle. It is also further proof in my writings that in the bear and gay community we consistently judge and label each other for whatever reason that may be. I don’t understand how even in the grown up world that we live in that many men resort back to our middle school and high school days where we become Regina George and label everyone based off of whatever qualities we deem to be not up to par with our likings in the world. Granted I am completely guilty of this as is many men, but this question does remain- how can we take a word like Bearlebrity and change it into something that is described in a positive way and not so negative way?
What is your definition of this? Do you feel we use labels all the time as a way to describe and ultimately judge other people? Hit me back with your viewpoints on this.
I have known the wonderful author and blogger that goes by the name of “Totally Tyler” for quite a bit now. We have shared our funny tweets via Twitter about our love for bacon and chocolate (that can be left open to interpretation) and many other facets of our lives. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to sit down and meet him to discuss the launch of his second book “Boys, Booze and Booty Calls: The Continued Tales of Totally Tyler”. Even in my mimosa haze (don’t judge, they were freaking delicious), I got to know him on a much deeper level and truly experienced what a phenomenal author and man he truly is.
How did you go about writing this second book?
Well this second book is really a continuation of the first one, which was based off of blogs that I had written. When I was writing the blogs, it was just a thing. I had never really put too much thought into where it would go. One day I was approached by a publishing company that wanted to make a book out of my posts, but the way I wanted to do it was to write them from the beginning. So the first book is from 2005, then second one is from 2006, so technically speaking I already have seven books done just from the blog posts I have.
You write a lot in this second book about your insecurities in a gay relationship. Do you think a middle aged straight woman could pick up this book and relate to what you are going through?
Maybe not directly to each situation, but I think insecurities are prevalent in any relationship. Doubting yourself, doubting the faith you have in that other person- that’s part of a relationship. It’s taking the risk.
Do you think farting is good in a relationship (there is a chapter in this book. Freaking hilarious).
No! Kidding. I think it is a sign of comfortability and being who you are in front of your partner.
Most of this book is based from your experience in Georgia. You have lived both there and here in New York City, do you see there being stark differences between the two?
Definitely. Interacial dating is very difficult in the south, that is for one. Up here, if you are making out with a gay guy in a bar he always has one eye focused on you and one eye open to see if there is anything better he can have. Atlanta tends to be a lot more laid back whereas everything here in New York City is a lot more fast paced. Guys meet each other everywhere here from the bars to the gym, that isn’t really prevalent down there. I like both of course, but there are definitely differences in the two.
You write a lot about Madonna. Even one chapter is riddled with songs that describe what the actual chapter is about, which is very cleverly done. Why is she your idol?
She is in every book actually, yet becomes more and more prevalent in each one. She is my idol because with every album she has released, and the message that goes along with it, has directly correlated with events that are going on in my life at the moment. I was raised Mormon, and was debating with my religion for quite sometime when “Like A Prayer” was released. When her album “Erotica” came out is actually when I came out. That album has had a direct response with what was going on in my life at that time.
What are your hopes for the future with this book and ultimately your life?
For this book I would love for it to be a bestseller and make a lot of money of course. Life wise, I would love to fall in love with a handsome man and really just have happiness and success like everyone else wants.
The book in itself is written from a gay man’s perspective, yet it touches on several different aspects of people’s lives that can be relatable if you aren’t in fact gay. Whether it is going through the weeks and months of being unemployed, insecurities, doubts in relationships, to ultimately realizing your goals, there really is something for everyone. Everyone should go out and get a copy!
If you want to get a copy, pick up one here!