gay relationship

22 Minutes to Oz

After a string of dates we had sex. It was inevitable. Unfortunately, it occurred between my laundry and his laundry list. We made plans to go all the way after a candlelit dinner, instead we settled for a candle and air conditioning–our version of a candle in the wind. He arrived at my place 30 minutes late in his father’s truck. He wore black shorts and a uniform top. After three minutes he attempted to get me in bed.

Bobbie: “You want me to pull it out.”
Me: “Sure, if you want to.”

My friend Sean told me about a guy he dated for a month. They captured their first sexual experience in the AM. “It was so horrible and uncomfortable,” he said. “I think I’m going to have to break up with him.” I was neither surprised nor did I need to supervise to see the results. Sex during rush hour is like the morning commute: exhausting, awkward and to be avoided at all costs.

Morning sex should be reserved for the married, or couples who have been dating for a while. To ensure you both get off quickly, to shower, have breakfast and leave for work on time–you need a choreograph routine. However, it doesn’t always garner the best sexual experience but with practice and precision it can be pleasurable.

Bobbie craved sex just after sunset. However, to be succinct we were not in sync. His performance only pleased himself. I had a glass of wine handy to enhance the experience. He channeled Adebisi from Oz through role-play. “I’m going to fuck you like Adebisi,” he said.

I’m sure Adebisi was as endowed as the Empire State Building. I would have loved to have soared to the cusp of the stratosphere. Yet with Bobbie, I liking it to humping on him in the deep hallows of a city dump. Neither wine nor Rush could wash away the waste that plague our status quo. Not even the wizard himself could lead us to Oz. He escaped as soon as he released himself.

Bobbie: “I have to go and give my dad back his car. Next time it will be better.”
Me: “Good night.”

As he left, I realized he was a fraud just like the wizard himself: an embodiment of broken promises and unfulfilled dreams. He lied to get what he wanted from me. I closed the door and locked it tight. I haven’t seen him since.

Open relationships- for some, never for me

by Ryan Shea

I can already tell I am going to get a lot of shit for writing this story, but really it is a very controversial topic in todays society, and I am not even talking about in the gay world either. The growing trend of an open relationship seems to be getting bigger and bigger as the years go by, and my thought in all of this is have we lost the art of the traditional relationship? What do I mean by that? I mean by one where each partner is faithful, that they are happy being in an emotionally and physically monogamous relationship without having to succumb to the outside pressures of sex and cheating.

I personally have several friends who happen to be in open relationships, and to which I say if it works for them, then that’s great. I am not them, so who am I to judge? This article really is not one on judging or feeling like I am better than them because of my viewpoint. I have been in three relationships my entire life. All of them I have been faithful, and as far as I am concerned so has my partner at that point. When we both made the decision to be a couple, not once did it cross my mind to think of cheating on him in the duration of when I was with him. When i say “I Love You”, it means that I am not going to go astray and find another guy to fulfill my needs emotionally or sexually. THAT’S JUST ME.

I have been approached, both in person and online, by several men who are in “open relationships”. A couple of weeks ago I was at a party where the majority of the men there were in fact coupled. There was one guy in particular who took a liking to me, as I did him. We talked for a while and started making out, but for some reason I felt an eye on us the whole time. When I opened my eyes it was this random dude staring what I thought to be daggers at me. I stopped, asked the guy who he was, and he said “oh yeah, that’s my boyfriend”. I didn’t know how to feel at that point. My whole thought process was that the guy liked me and was into me, and then I am viewed as the evil troll or something. Really its quite frustrating.

For me, I want someone to myself, and not to feel like I have to share them or something. As funny as it sounds, I don’t feel like being someone’s “guest star” in their relationship. I want to be the series regular that gets renewed every fall season. Corny, yes. Honest, yes. My whole thought process if I was in an open relationship is that if I know he’s out there finding something else, what I am doing wrong that is making it OK for that in fact to happen? As stated before, everyone has their own way of going through love and what they do, and I am not here to judge that. I am just stating these things based on my experience so far.

Comments are gladly accepted, and I would love to know your viewpoints. However, don’t condemn me for what I wrote. We all have our opinions.

Totally Tyler and my totally awesome interview. Totally.

by Ryan Shea

I have known the wonderful author and blogger that goes by the name of “Totally Tyler” for quite a bit now. We have shared our funny tweets via Twitter about our love for bacon and chocolate (that can be left open to interpretation) and many other facets of our lives. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to sit down and meet him to discuss the launch of his second book “Boys, Booze and Booty Calls: The Continued Tales of Totally Tyler”. Even in my mimosa haze (don’t judge, they were freaking delicious), I got to know him on a much deeper level and truly experienced what a phenomenal author and man he truly is.

How did you go about writing this second book?

Well this second book is really a continuation of the first one, which was based off of blogs that I had written. When I was writing the blogs, it was just a thing. I had never really put too much thought into where it would go. One day I was approached by a publishing company that wanted to make a book out of my posts, but the way I wanted to do it was to write them from the beginning. So the first book is from 2005, then second one is from 2006, so technically speaking I already have seven books done just from the blog posts I have.

You write a lot in this second book about your insecurities in a gay relationship. Do you think a middle aged straight woman could pick up this book and relate to what you are going through?

Maybe not directly to each situation, but I think insecurities are prevalent in any relationship. Doubting yourself, doubting the faith you have in that other person- that’s part of a relationship. It’s taking the risk.

Do you think farting is good in a relationship (there is a chapter in this book. Freaking hilarious).

No! Kidding. I think it is a sign of comfortability and being who you are in front of your partner.

Most of this book is based from your experience in Georgia. You have lived both there and here in New York City, do you see there being stark differences between the two?

Definitely. Interacial dating is very difficult in the south, that is for one. Up here, if you are making out with a gay guy in a bar he always has one eye focused on you and one eye open to see if there is anything better he can have. Atlanta tends to be a lot more laid back whereas everything here in New York City is a lot more fast paced. Guys meet each other everywhere here from the bars to the gym, that isn’t really prevalent down there. I like both of course, but there are definitely differences in the two.

You write a lot about Madonna. Even one chapter is riddled with songs that describe what the actual chapter is about, which is very cleverly done. Why is she your idol?

She is in every book actually, yet becomes more and more prevalent in each one. She is my idol because with every album she has released, and the message that goes along with it, has directly correlated with events that are going on in my life at the moment. I was raised Mormon, and was debating with my religion for quite sometime when “Like A Prayer” was released. When her album “Erotica” came out is actually when I came out. That album has had a direct response with what was going on in my life at that time.

What are your hopes for the future with this book and ultimately your life?

For this book I would love for it to be a bestseller and make a lot of money of course. Life wise, I would love to fall in love with a handsome man and really just have happiness and success like everyone else wants.

The book in itself is written from a gay man’s perspective, yet it touches on several different aspects of people’s lives that can be relatable if you aren’t in fact gay. Whether it is going through the weeks and months of being unemployed, insecurities, doubts in relationships, to ultimately realizing your goals, there really is something for everyone. Everyone should go out and get a copy!

If you want to get a copy, pick up one here!

Book Cover — Credit to: www.twitter.com/@totally_tyler

: Credit to: www.twitter.com/totallytyler

gay relationship

Footer