Manhattan Digest

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dating

22 Minutes to Oz

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After a string of dates we had sex. It was inevitable. Unfortunately, it occurred between my laundry and his laundry list. We made plans to go all the way after a candlelit dinner, instead we settled for a candle and air conditioning–our version of a candle in the wind. He arrived at my place 30 minutes late in his father’s truck. He wore black shorts and a uniform top. After three minutes he attempted to get me in bed.

Bobbie: “You want me to pull it out.”
Me: “Sure, if you want to.”

My friend Sean told me about a guy he dated for a month. They captured their first sexual experience in the AM. “It was so horrible and uncomfortable,” he said. “I think I’m going to have to break up with him.” I was neither surprised nor did I need to supervise to see the results. Sex during rush hour is like the morning commute: exhausting, awkward and to be avoided at all costs.

Morning sex should be reserved for the married, or couples who have been dating for a while. To ensure you both get off quickly, to shower, have breakfast and leave for work on time–you need a choreograph routine. However, it doesn’t always garner the best sexual experience but with practice and precision it can be pleasurable.

Bobbie craved sex just after sunset. However, to be succinct we were not in sync. His performance only pleased himself. I had a glass of wine handy to enhance the experience. He channeled Adebisi from Oz through role-play. “I’m going to fuck you like Adebisi,” he said.

I’m sure Adebisi was as endowed as the Empire State Building. I would have loved to have soared to the cusp of the stratosphere. Yet with Bobbie, I liking it to humping on him in the deep hallows of a city dump. Neither wine nor Rush could wash away the waste that plague our status quo. Not even the wizard himself could lead us to Oz. He escaped as soon as he released himself.

Bobbie: “I have to go and give my dad back his car. Next time it will be better.”
Me: “Good night.”

As he left, I realized he was a fraud just like the wizard himself: an embodiment of broken promises and unfulfilled dreams. He lied to get what he wanted from me. I closed the door and locked it tight. I haven’t seen him since.

What’s Offensive on Online Apps?

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Credit to: Tumblr
Credit to: Tumblr

 

Oh, the online dating world.  Something that originally started as a small has turned into quite the revolution in the straight and gay worlds.  Many a people I know use it for several different reasons beyond the first date- business, sex, friendship, etc.  You can totally get something out of it.  Heck, I have used it to promote this page and get writers on it and I am very happy with the people that I have found simply with a sentence and a click.  So the variety here is truly endless.

With all the glory and opportunities that is out there for online dating, there are certain things that people write in their profiles or do that many can find incredibly offensive and off putting to the point where they don’t even want to reply with anything back, they just block or ignore.  This is from information I have gathered from several other friends of mine, not including myself, who find these particular attributes put on as just really intolerable-

1. PRIVATE PHOTOS UNLOCKED/CAN I SEE YOUR PRIVATE PHOTOS/WOOF LET ME SEE YOUR PRIVATE PHOTOS.

And this particular fellow didn’t even say hello.  I am sorry, but this is at the height of rudeness.  This is pertaining to the app Growlr, one I happen to love, that allows you to have a main photo but two ones that are private.  Mine are simply face shots though there are times where I want to take two photos of my dog and use them to piss guys off who were expecting more.  I equate this to an actual experience in a bar.  Not even saying hello and asking for private photos is like walking up to a guy in a bar and saying “Get naked”.  It’s not gonna happen (unless you are at certain bars) and its the same thing online.  Geez don’t people want to at least say hey sometimes before all of that.  Good god.

2. PNP.

This is a very controversial issue that seems to flood a lot of what is out there online.  “Party” means an assortment of drugs, usually hard ones and “play” means to hook up.  If I am going to party, it is going to be with some Lay’s Potato Chips, Sprite, and hopefully a bunch of interesting people around me at an actual PARTY. Not that kind.  I think the whole drug usage thing has become very prevalent in the gay community and this is something that is just wrong on a multitude of levels.

3. JUDGEMENT.

I am a firm believer that if someone goes out of their way to message you either with “Hey”, “Hello” or even a compliment like “You are handsome”, it is the human thing to respond regardless of interest.  That seems to be rampant as well, especially in certain areas of New York City, where guys think that if you don’t fit that certain muscle bear type they won’t respond to you. Meanwhile, these are the ones that are the most insecure of all.  If the guy messages you, at least entertain a conversation.  Make them feel good.  You never know when someone is having a bad day that a simple convo can make them feel better.

 

HELP! UNEMPLOYMENT! I am Unemployed. What do I do now?

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HELP! UNEMPLOYMENT! I am Unemployed. What do I do now? Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. While being unemployed or facing unemployment is a very scary and daunting moment in one’s life, it is not the end of the world. On many levels, Job hunting is much like dating. You win some, you lose some but when it comes down to it, you learn more about your true wants and needs in the end.

Just like dating and meeting people for the first time, unemployment or the single life, can open many doors and venues that you may not have thought of whilst in your last position (relationship).

Jobs come in many different shapes, sizes and skill sets. They also have different salaries, schedule structures, corporate structures and employee perks.

You gotta know what you want in a job before you can make it happen. Culture Beat: Mr. Vain “I know what I want and I want it now”

1) Education. Despite the high costs of this sector furthering your education is never a bad thing as long as you are researching and understanding the short and long-term benefits and negatives to education. Yes, you are unemployed and money is tight but this could be a GOOD boost to your experience.

2) Career transition. Maybe you have reached that moment with your job where you have had enough? It’s okay, this happens sometimes and you are not at fault but in this time of a slowed lifestyle, try to focus on what you want to do next and how you can attain that goal.

3) Network. But don’t beg.

DON’T. Sit and complain about your job situation. Keep in mind that just because you are unemployed does not mean EVERYONE is unemployed. The last thing you want to become is that guy/girl who never stops complaining and gives the ‘I’m poor and unemployed’ sob story. We get it. Get over it. It’s life and make something happen out of it. Complaining will not get you a job.

DO. Ask friends how they are doing and politely see if they know of any openings in their company. Some may ask for your resume and forward it along, others may not feel so inclined. Try and stay as happy and positive as you can. I repeat no one needs another Debbie Downer in their life.

Don’t Be a Debbie Downer with Unemployment!

 

http://cdn.business2community.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/debbie_downer.jpg
Don’t Be a Debbie Downer with Unemployment! http://cdn.business2community.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/debbie_downer.jpg

4) Too much unemployment is NOT a good thing. Despite what many people have yet to realize about job hunting is that the moment you become unemployed, your career clock is ticking. This clock determines the probability as to how quickly you will be hired again. The longer you allow this clock to tick, the more challenging the search will become ESPECIALLY if you wait a year or longer before you hop into the job market again.

Yes, I know that there are SOME people out there who get lucky and have the ability to pull some strings but most of us do not have such luck and when an employer sees a huge unemployment period they question a person’s motivation/drive and work ethic.  

Keep this in mind before your two-year hibernation.

5) Learn a New Hobby! Get yourself out there and try something new. Anything. Ballet, magic, architecture, travelling, bear wrestling. Yes, it is important to spend a large chunk of your time finding work and honing in on job opportunities but this gives you ample time to find yourself again and discover new things about yourself. Keep it light, keep it simple. As humans, once we stop learning, we stop living. As a Ghandi writes, ““Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

Seize the day! THIS.IS.UNEMPLOYMENT!

THIS IS JOB HUNTING!
THIS. IS. UNEMPLOYMENT!!! http://www.bwmag.in/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/This-is-Sparta.jpg

 

Most of all what I would like to reiterate in this post is to be consistent. Job hunting IS a full-time job and it requires consistency to really put a dent in finding what you want.

Regardless of your career level, the state of being unemployed is a tough position to be in but with the right attitude and motivation it can propel you forward in your career.

Have you ever been unemployed? How did you go about obtaining your next job? What did you succeed with in your job search? What were your struggles?  Feel free to share! There are MANY of us out there who are dying to know because, well, quite frankly we are very high in unemployment numbers right now.