OPINION

On TV, The Real Crisis Is Boredom

Crisis: Sundays at 10 Eastern on NBC

It’s always amazing to see what trends the networks are going to seize next. Last year, the networks were big on serial killers, spawning The Following, Hannibal, Cult, and Bates Motel. This year, apparently, one of the flavors of the week is hostage crises with the topic already rearing it’s head on CBS’s lackluster Hostages. NBC has also decided to go down this road (with a fairly straight up clone) with it’s newest Sunday night show Crisis.

Crisis, much like Hostages revolves around the core skeleton of a powerful Washington family ripped apart by a nefarious mastermind looking to use force in order to impose his will on the country. However, while Hostages was built entirely around the idea of a surgeon killing the president while under the knife, Crisis aims to be more ambiguous by adding political and diplomatic intrigue to the proceedings.

Everything about Crisis screams lazy. The show opens on some of the laziest green screening I’ve seen in recent memory (I’m inclined to think they felt it was meant to feel disorienting, but it feels bush league). Normally, when a show is lazy on it’s visuals it’s a one time thing, but even the image of a plane shutting down in mid-air and plummeting into a nearby industrial building (as shot from an adjacent diner) feels like a non factor. The whole point of visuals is to feel a visceral punch, but nothing this show tries to pull off registers from that standpoint.

Worse than the CG, the acting feels equally listless. Even with an all-star cast including Dermot Mulroney (who I thought was amazing when I saw his stint a couple years ago on New Girl) and Gillian Anderson (The X-Files), everything feels flat, wooden, and generally the sort of teleprompterese I only expect to see from politicians. There are however, a couple of bright spots in this pilot (made even more interesting by the fact that said actors were isolated from the cast for the rest of the show, making me truly appreciate the marvels of second unit directing maybe?) in Lance Gross and Joshua Erenberg, who play Agent Marcus Finley and Anton Roth respectively.

I wish I could blame just the acting and the visual effects, but the fact of the matter is Crisis is a triple threat of suck, as even the initial writing feels truly terrible. Our FBI alternates between complete omniscience and the absolute opposite, with the show going to ridiculous lengths to ensure our characters are lost (I may come from a middle class background, but even the most affluent people I know aren’t embedded with computer chips). Even the mid-show twist, which moves Mulroney’s Mr. Gibson from hero to villain seems completely out of the blue, showing a disturbing lack of a sense of pacing from the sort of twist that typically comes in the last segment of numerous prior pilots.

The Final Verdict: I spent some ink above mentioning all of the similarities between Crisis and Hostages, but I feel like I missed one of the most obvious connections in retrospect: I am completely uncompelled to watch either of them. It’s not very often that I watch a show where it feels like all parties involved thoroughly mailed it in, but Crisis fits the bill in this regard. Skip this, if you actually want to see a hostage situation turn into dramatic entertainment, write a skit or something, because quite frankly whatever you do it will probably be more entertaining than Crisis.

Theater Review: “Hand to God”

by Ryan Leeds

Margery (Geneva Carr) is on the brink of a breakdown. A recent divorcee, she’s feeling trapped by her responsibilities at her small town Texas fundamental Christian church. The yearly pageant is nearing and she must produce a sock puppet skit with her trio of uninspired children, one of whom is her son, Jason (Steven Boyer). Jason is a model mama’s boy, at least until Tyrone materializes. Tyrone is his hand puppet, who just happens to be the devil. Soon, Tyrone is hell bent on demonizing his fellow puppeteers by leading them all down the primrose path of dalliance. Yes. This is a comedy-and a wild, outrageously funny one at that.

MCC Theater’s Hand to God expounds upon the old adage “The devil made me do it”. From Tyrone’s opening monologue on the differences between good and evil , it is clear that mischief and mayhem will ensue. Yet as funny as it is, it gives us pause to think of our own human behavior and reflect upon the forces which guide us in our day to day living.

Director Moritz Von Stuelpnagel has assembled a magnificent cast here. Carr is wonderful as the volatile , desperate mother whose succumbs to carnal passion. Michael Oberholtzer is hilarious (and sexy) as Timothy, the dim bad boy who fulfills Margery’s needs. Sarah Stiles is terrifically on point as Jessica, the nerdy brainiac fed up with the nonsense around her. Marc Kudisch completes the cast as Pastor Greg, whose sympathetic ear for Margery is guided by alterior motives. While Robert Askin’s play boasts an accomplished cast, it is Steven Boyer’s immaculate performance that audiences will remember. The way he is able to switch between Jason and Tyrone is unbelievable, and his riff on Abbott and Costello’s classic “Who’s on first” sketch is priceless.

Hand to God is far from a trip to your local Sunday school class and is certainly not appropriate for children, but it is a fun, hilarious, and thought-provoking look at what makes us tick.

Hand to God is now playing through March 30th at the Lucille Lortel Theater, 121 Christopher Street. For tickets, visit https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/cal/32215.

Theater Review: “The Bridges of Madison County”

by Ryan Leeds

I’ll admit it. I watched the movie when it opened in theaters in 1995. I couldn’t wait for it to end. It was over two hours long and was chock full of schmaltz and bridges—and schmaltzy talk about romance and bridges. I was particularly unsettled by Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood naked in a bathtub. It isn’t that I am ageist and have an aversion to geriatric sex. I just don’t care to witness it, neither in fiction nor real life. So when I heard that Bridges of Madison County was receiving a musical treatment, I winced. Then I saw the creative team and star power behind it: Music and Lyrics by the genius behind Parade, Jason Robert Brown? Ok. My ears are perked! Book by Pulitzer and Tony award winning author The Secret Garden and The Color Purple, Marsha Norman? You bet! Starring the dashing leading man Steven Pasquale and the first rate Kelli O’Hara? Please! Can this get any better? All under the direction of Broadway hotshot, Bartlett Sher? Well, I was simply gob smacked with interest!

Did this creative team match the quality of their already impressive credits? Indeed. Based on Robert James Waller best-selling novel, Bridges is a morality tale which somehow, when paired with a stunningly gorgeous score by Brown, soars above all expectations. Francesca (O’Hara) beautifully paints a picture of the native Italy she left behind for… wait for it…IOWA?!!? Someone got a bum rap here, huh? Yet this was 1965 and her choices to be a homemaker beckoned her to the United States. Her beau turned out to be the “Aw Shucks” type, Bud (played with usual blue-collar esteem by Hunter Foster). Bud and his kids are headed to the county fair for a few days, leaving Francesca for some well-deserved quiet time. The children, Michael and Carolyn (Derek Klena and Caitlin Kinnunen), are a handful. Within 5 minutes of meeting them, I was convinced, had it been me, that I’d have thrown myself off one of the titular wooden overpasses as a permanent avoidance tactic to such insolence. Shortly after leaving for the fair, a handsome “hippie” photographer, Robert (Pasquale) pulls into the driveway, asking directions from Francesca and soon, their paths are both headed in the direction of lovers’ lane. It all makes sense, right: Iowa as a sacrifice for Italy? A redneck husband? Rambunctious children and an empty House? I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat. OOOOhhhhh! And you’ve solved that little puzzle.

For four days, the lonely lovers spark untapped wells of emotion and lust in one another, all the while realizing that this must remain a hidden passion. It doesn’t help that they need to dodge Marge and Charlie, (Cass Morgan and Michael X. Martin) Francesca’s nebbish neighbors. While the do gooders next door provide a few opportunities for comic relief, they read like cookie cutter caricatures. Without question, O’Hara’s radiant presence carries this show. Besides capturing the nuances of a conflicted, immigrant housewife, her voice is pure heaven. Pasquale generally carries his own here, too. Yet for all of his stage chemistry with O’Hara, his macho ruggedness and powerful baritone, the magnetism does not translate to the audience.

There is much to ponder in Bridges of Madison County, most significantly the choices and consequences of our actions- the “could nots”, “should nots”, and “might have beens” that morally conscious individuals are plagued with on a continual basis. It skillfully accomplishes its’ purpose without seeping into saccharine ground. With elegant scenic and lighting design by Michael Yeargan and Donald Holder, Bridges of Madison County creates a deeply profound tableau of love, longing, and life. While it eschews the typical Broadway extravaganza, its’ simplicity and beauty rests in the story. This will be a quality chapter in theatrical history books for those fortunate enough to have seen it.

The Bridges of Madison County is now playing on Broadway at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theater, 236 West 45th Street between Broadway and 8th. For tickets, call 212-239-6200, visit www.telecharge.com or go to the box office.

Theater Review: “London Wall”

by Ryan Leeds

Shady business is rearing its’ ugly head at the impeccably impressive law offices of Messers. Walker, Windemere, and Co. It turns out that their boy wonder, Mr. Brewer (Stephen Plunkett) , has taken a liking to the ladies-too much in fact. The object of his affection happens to be his sweet-tempered employee, Pat Milligan (Elise Kibler), who is hesitant to accept his advances, but ultimately feels trapped. Meanwhile, the tough talkin’ “I’ve been around the block and can see through this guy like cellophane” Miss Janus (Julia Coffey) is protective of her fellow secretarial colleague. Janus has a friend in mind for Milligan, Mr. Hammond (Christopher Sears). Hammond is much more age appropriate and not nearly as lecherous. But my oh my…is he ever shy. Will he work up the courage to court Miss Milligan?

Such issues were at stake in the 1930s in the Mint Theater’s charming revival of John Van Druten’s London Wall. While a Broadway production never materialized, this law firm did open its’ practice across the pond. It opened in the West End in May 1931, where it ran for 170 performances. Mint Theater is known for finding lesser known classic works and giving them a touch-up. Happily, they have done a marvelous job here with capturing the essence of the period.

The first act plays out much like a more formal version of 9 to 5, but it does not move at a terribly fast clip. Yet under Davis McCallum’s hand, the dialogue is as frothy and light as it can be. In act two, justice does prevail and the proverbial “dog has his day.” Along the way, there are some lighter subplots which all make for an enjoyable night at the theater.

London Wall plays through April 13 at the Mint Theater, 311 West 43rd Street between 8^th and 9^th avenues. For tickets, call: 1-866-811-4111 or visit www.minttheater.org.

South Park: The Stick of Truth Review

by Tim Morris

Copyright Viacom Source: South Park Studios — Copyright Viacom
Source: South Park Studios

Being the new kid never felt so good.

I was just ten years old when South Park made its debut on Comedy Central. It’s crazy to think about sitting in my fifth-grade class while all my friends talked about the show, and I couldn’t join in because I wasn’t allowed to watch it. After 17 brilliant seasons, a movie, and a myriad of merchandise, the one thing that always felt missing from the behemoth of a franchise was a truly good video game. After some ill-fated titles that came three generations ago, such as South Park Rally and Chef’s Luv Shack, demand for another game entry was understandably low. However, after creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker approached Obsidian Entertainment to develop a game for them, South Park: The Stick of Truth was born. The fact that this game even made it to release is nothing short of remarkable, what with nearly two years of delays and a publisher change that occurred when THQ went bankrupt. However, unlike many cases of a game being delayed, The Stick of Truth was very much worth the wait.

The simplest way to explain this game is that it’s Paper Mario with a South Park coat of paint and more bells and whistles. You start by creating your own character, including hairstyle, facial features, and clothes. The customization really has some depth to it, so it’s worth playing around for a while to capture the perfect look that you want. You also get to choose from one of four character classes: Fighter, Mage, Thief, and Jew. The classes have different special abilities that you can upgrade in multiple ways, but it seemed like any class could equip any weapon and armor, so you aren’t getting useless drops during gameplay. The combat is surprisingly deep, complete with quick time events to either improve your damage or lower that of your enemies. You can bring one of six “buddies” into combat with you: Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Butters, or Jimmy, and each are complete with their own abilities and weapons.

One of the things that you don’t truly realize just from watching the show is that the quiet mountain town of South Park isn’t really that small. There are many shops to visit that have all made appearances on the show, and in addition you can visit many of the kids’ houses and interact with their families too. Visiting all the places around town is imperative for building your quest log, and you’ll find that many of the citizens in-game need your help. Examples of quests include finding Jesus, recovering a lost iPad, and even placing ManBearPig sensors around town for Al Gore. While many of these are side quests and don’t progress the main story, the references and humor involved are more than reason enough to get them done. In addition, the game continues the tradition of the show by pushing the envelope as far as it can go. There are scenes depicting your character’s parents doing the nasty, large amounts of uncensored profanity, and even a battle with a gigantic Nazi zombie aborted fetus.

However, at its heart this game is an RPG and I shall judge it as such. To that end, South Park: The Stick of Truth has done very well for itself as a turn-based game in a world of real-time RPGs. It borrows elements from various games and yet still manages to create its own identity with the combination of the upgrade (through leveling) and perk (through gaining Facebook friends) systems. Menus are user-friendly and most situations where players get stumped are answered by your buddy if you wait long enough. I have only two complaints with the game, one major and one minor. The more serious gripe that I have is that the main storyline is far too short. I completed that part of the game in under nine hours. While there’s plenty to do on the side and postgame, I would’ve liked to see some more time invested in the overarching plot. The other, smallish complaint is that the game is very easy on the “Normal” difficulty setting. I was never really in danger of losing a fight from beginning to end.

Overall, South Park: The Stick of Truth is one of those games that you might not fully appreciate if you don’t love the source material, but if you do, prepare yourself for the most fun experience so far in 2014.

Final Grade: A-

Platform: Playstation 3, Xbox 360
Genre: RPG
Players: 1
Price: $59.99

Resurrection’s Inconsistency Could Prove Fatal

by Michael Tyminski

Resurrection: Sundays at 9 Eastern on ABC

One of the real downsides of the prevalence of procedural shows on the big four is that it tends to crowd out the remainder of the drama landscape. Even our shows with a more sci-fi and fantasy bent (Hannibal, Grimm, Almost Human) have been forced into this “case of the week” mold. As a result, we see very few high concept and family dramas (Parenthood being the only real family drama I can think of of late) on the network dial. ABC, as the network least likely to run procedurals on it’s schedule (most of their dramas tend to be more soapy) is bringing out a high concept take on this sub genre with its’ newest show: Resurrection.

Resurrection tells the tale of Arcadia, a small town in Missouri where an 8 year old boy mysteriously reappears after dying over 30 years ago. This sends the Langston family into upheaval, as Jacob’s parents must confront the surprise reappearance of their son. Their extended family is dealing with untold knowledge of the circumstances that led to the drowning accident that took both Jacob and his aunt. The government, meanwhile, is trying to figure out if Jacob is actually Jacob, and if so

Any show that builds around a core mystery needs to start asking more questions than one can easily can answer and Resurrection doesn’t hesitate when it comes to this task. In addition to the questions relating to the shows central conceit, the show makes it a priority to create as many new angles as possible, whether it’s a new mysterious figure whose only hinted at until the end of the episode, the bald man whom was at the river, or the new found shaking of the local pastor’s faith.

Resurrection’s acting feels hit or miss at points. While our premiere episode doesn’t help much in this matter by virtue by building around an overwhelming sense of confusion, the performances felt very inconsistent. For every moment that feels generally moving, one can find another moment that feels a little too muted out to register.

Visually, Resurrection hits enough of the right notes, whether it’s going to a brighter and more Polaroid like filter on flashbacks of happier days, while focusing on muted tones around the river. Even the show’s slower moments, like a moment where Jacob and Mrs. Langston walk into church in the middle of the pastor’s sermon is shot with a surprisingly high attention to detail.

The Final Verdict: Resurrection is a maddening show, in that you can see it’s potential, but at the same time know there’s a reasonable sized gap to realizing it. It’s tone and cinematography are excellent, but the writing and acting feel remarkably inconsistent. This is the sort of show I’d wait and see on: tonight’s episode was a serviceable beginning point, but you’re going to want to see signs of growth before you emotionally invest in it.

Sirens Is Alarmingly Funny

by Michael Tyminski

Sirens: Thursdays at 10 Eastern on USA

2013 was an odd year for USA. While the network had spent years building it’s brand of “characters welcome”, it had instead spent the year launching a handful of mediocre reality series (The Moment, Summer Camp) to flank it’s more established shows. Going into 2014, USA seems to be aiming for a more balanced mix of new scripted and new reality, and is trusting some proven hands in order to find the right hits to replace some of its’ aging lineup.

Sirens, from the minds of Denis Leary and Bob Fisher, is the story of three EMT’s in the Chicago area as they go on calls trying to save the lives of the people who call on them. Two of the EMT’s, Hank (Kevin Daniels) and Johnny (Michael Mosely), are long time friends, but they are also tasked with helping to show neophyte Brian (Kevin Bigley) the ropes. Further complicating matters is their constant interactions with Johnny’s ex-girlfriend Theresa (Jessica MacNamee), a hard nosed cop still holding some feelings for Johnny.

Sirens aims to be the medical equivalent of the buddy cop show, and succeeds at it perfectly. Johnny and Hank have a dynamic that’s reminiscent of Riggs and Murtaugh, with the loose cannon Johnny being tempered by the more reserved Hank. Where Sirens deviates is in the addition of Brian, who operates as a naive counterpoint to their cynicism and as the sort of hate sink that happens to keep Johnny and Hank from eating each other alive with their comedic barbs. In a lot of ways this puts Sirens in direct contrast with numerous other medical shows (including and most starkly, Scrubs), as the gravity that comes with death is a non-factor.

When it comes to it’s comedy side, Sirens is remarkably funny. Jokes are delivered with the same urgency one would expect from the more serious side of the medical profession, with the digs often coming at a machine gun clip. While the bulk of the humor tends to be thrown in the direction of new recruit Brian, the best gags are thrown at the worst patients that the crew are forced to endure, whether it’s a businessman who has a coke bottle trapped in an uncomfortable place and an indignant jerk whose spewing venom at Hank after being struck by lightning.

If there is one thing that feels extraneous, it’s a tepid romantic angle between Johnny and Theresa that’s tacked on. It feels forced because all of the plotting comes from the ridiculous maneuvers that the show takes to force the two exes into the contact. As a show that focuses entirely on it’s A plot (in the first two episodes, we see nothing that resembles a B plot), this drags the show to a screeching halt at points, clashing with the incredibly tight rapid-fire rhythms that make Sirens shine.

The Final Verdict: Sirens clicks in all of the right places, being wickedly funny while focusing on the mundane aspects of medical work. It also gets the most out of being fearlessly bawdy, while maintaining the sort of “in your face” persona that people have come to associate with Denis Leary’s brand of comedy. Check it out if you’re looking for something fun in the 10 o’clock hour (though it also faces stiff competition from Andrew Daly’s Review).

Top 10 – South Park Episodes

by Tim Morris

Getting you primed for The Stick of Truth.

This coming Tuesday marks the release of the long-awaited game, South Park: The Stick of Truth. The anticipated RPG promises deep gameplay with the wild humor that South Park brings on a weekly basis, and I feel it best to honor the series’ storied success with my personal Top 10 favorite episodes, in advance of the game’s release:

10. “Royal Pudding” – If tradition is more your speed, then saddle up for some wacky Canadian customs. Some examples, you ask? Well, how about ripping off your bride’s arm and then shoving it up your ass? Covering your arms in butterscotch pudding, then having the bride scrape it off and spread it on her face? There actually is a story to be had, too, and that is the rescue of the Canadian princess from the evil Tooth Decay by Ike.

9. “Crème Fraiche” – Ever wish for a sex hotline for foodies? This episodes brings such a desire to life. After becoming addicted to and seemingly sexually aroused by the Food Network, Randy pursues cooking while Sharon discovers the Shake Weight when she believes that she is no longer attractive to Randy. While she’s working out, he’s appearing on challenge shows after taking over the school cafeteria. Eventually, Sharon realizes the true purpose of the Shake Weight, which is what we’re all thinking every time one of the commercials airs: handjobs.

8. “Super Fun Time” – Go back to 1864 in this “super fun” episode where a class trip to Pioneer Village turns ugly real fast. A group of armed men who had just robbed a Burger King show up and take everyone hostage. Meanwhile, Butters and Cartman had ditched the trip (Cartman wanted out and Butters is his buddy for the field trip, so he’s forced to go along) to hit up Super Phun Tyme, a nearby arcade. Since the people of Pioneer Village can’t break character, the hostage situation only gets worse in the most hilarious ways possible. Eventually, Stan plays this to his advantage and saves the day.

7. “Fishsticks” – A rather benign joke from Jimmy turns into a crisis when Kanye West believes he’s been called a gay fish (sources say that this might actually be true) and as he’s done with most of his career, Carlos Mencia claims credit for the comedic sensation. Meanwhile, Cartman spends most of the episode convincing himself that he was the one who came up with the joke, and that Jimmy stole it from him. Finally, Kanye comes to terms with being a gay fish, and swims happily among his own kind.

6. “Cripple Fight” – Jimmy and Timmy throw down in what I consider to be the greatest fight in South Park history. Here is the iconic fight in all its glory for your viewing pleasure. I need not make a further case for this episode’s inclusion on the list.

5. “The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers” – What do you get when you cross Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and a misplaced video that happens to be the most vile and disgusting porno ever? A completely traumatic and golden episode that ranks with the series’ best. In this instant classic, the boys embark on a mission to return the porno to the local video store while Butters takes on the role of Gollum in search of the tape, predictably referred to as his “Precious”. After successfully returning the tape, battling both Butters and a bunch of 6th graders, the boys receive a lecture from their parents about some of the less traditional aspects of sex. Problem is, the only one who actually saw the tape was Token.

4. “Imaginationland” – I’m grouping all three parts as one episode here because they truly capture the essence of the show as a whole rather than separate parts. The saga begins with another argument/bet between Kyle and Cartman. Cartman believes that leprechauns are real, and naturally Kyle does not. If Cartman can prove they exist, Kyle would have to suck his balls. If not, Cartman owes Kyle $10 (kind of a lopsided bet, in my view). After stumbling upon one and later being transported to Imaginationland, the boys embark on a mission to save all the fabricated creatures from their evil counterparts in an attempt to cram as many awesome references as possible into three incredible episodes.

3. “The Losing Edge” – If you’ve ever heard someone yell out “I’M SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA” while impersonating Randy, this is the episode they’re referencing. The boys are stuck playing baseball, a sport they all hate, and continuously try to lose games to no avail. Randy takes the “being a crazy parent at their kid’s sporting event” archetype a bit too far when he constantly gets wasted and fights fans of the other team at every game. Eventually, he meets his match when he takes on Batdad, and when the fight spills onto the field he gets the South Park team disqualified to the delight of the boys.

2. “Good Times With Weapons” – What if South Park tried an anime episode? Take the kids to the fair and let them buy ninja weapons, and you have your answer. Cartman creates an omnipotent persona for himself as the boys fight evil and other ninjas with their very real weapons. After Butters (as the nefarious Professor Chaos, who I hope appears in The Stick of Truth) catches a shuriken to the eye from Kenny, instead of taking him to the hospital and admitting fault they dress him up as a dog and try to take him to the vet.

1. “Scott Tenorman Must Die” – If there’s one episode of South Park that will always appear in a top whatever list, it’s this one. If it doesn’t, tell the person who made it that they’re wrong. Kicking off the show’s fifth season, this episode features Cartman being bullied by 9th grader Scott Tenorman. Mostly centered around money and pubes, Cartman gets trolled by Scott at every turn. That is, until he hatches the most brilliantly evil plan I have ever seen in action. It’s so evil that I could never do it justice by trying to explain. Click here and enjoy the deliciousness.

The Short Form: The 86th Academy Awards

by Michael Tyminski

Best Actor winner Matthew McConaughey and Camilla Alves (Source: ABC)

Welcome to the Short Form. The Short Form gives you all the angles on last night’s awards show so you can watch The Walking Dead with your Sunday night instead. Tonight is the 86th Academy Awards, the Super Bowl of awards shows. Ellen DeGeneres took the hosting reigns this year from the controversial Seth McFarlane, which should guarantee a different tone on Hollywood’s biggest night.

Ellen’s Hosting Job: Ellen seemed a touch jittery during her opening monologue, but in spite of that, she delivered a sharp monologue that managed to throw a touch of farce with the usual celebrity zings (including a particularly pointed one directed at Liza Minelli in which she mistook Minelli for an impersonator (ending on the quip “nice job sir”). The monologue was a welcome reprieve from Seth McFarlane’s rambling set pieces last year, clocking in at a brief eight minutes.

Ellen also played traffic cop considerably more than what we’ve seen in other shows, often personally introducing most of the presenters and hanging out in the audience more than we’ve tended to see with recent awards shows. I definitely like the move towards shorter interstitial pieces, as it always feels off when we only see the host once or twice throughout the show. That being said, many of the audience segments were flat out weird, asking about ordering pizza or taking selfies.

Is this the Grammys, because the music is the best part of this show!: On a night where everything felt a little off tempo, we got some killer musical performances that were a real bright spot for the show. Whether it was the spectacle driven performance of Pharell’s “Happy” or the intimate performances by Karen O and U2, this year’s ceremony has stepped up it’s game in its’ musical segments. Idina Menzel also shined with her performance of Frozen’s “Let It Go”, receiving a standing ovation from the crowd (including best song competitor Bono). This strength extended outside of the best music nominees, with Pink stepping up her game in tribute to Judy Garland. The one exception of the rule came at the worst possible time: Bette Midler’s punchless performance of “Wind Beneath My Wings” after a particularly brutal memoriam segment that showed how death hit all aspects of the movie world whether you preferred Peter O’ Toole, Harold Ramis, Philip Seymour Hoffman or even Paul Walker.

The pacing felt weird, especially in hour one: In a night with numerous teleprompter issues, it often felt like Ellen in particular was rushed, while presenters and speeches were given more room to breathe (the orchestra was extremely passive this time out). Furthering this is the fact that most of the early awards were often presented in twos or threes at a time. There were also an alarmingly high number of video packages, which felt unnecessary due to lack of heavy stage changes throughout the show. The end result was a long show (the show went three and a half hours) that often felt too deliberate in some parts and incredibly rushed in others.

Big Winners and bigger snubs: Gravity, American Hustle, and 12 Years a Slave received most of the best picture hype, and the academy had two clear favorites. Gravity cleaned house with 7 awards (particularly on the technical side), picking up best cinematography, best director (somewhere NBC is incredibly glad they can use this in advertising for Believe) best film editing, both sound awards and the best visual effects. Frozen managed to bat 1.000, picking up a couple of awards for best animated feature and best original song (for “Let It Go”), while The Great Gatsby picked up a pair of stylistic awards courtesy of Baz Luhrmann’s decadent vision. Cate Blanchett was one of the few to defeat Gravity in a category tonight for her work in Blue Jasmine, while Dallas Buyer’s Club picked up not only expected wins for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor (Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto respectively). The big winner of the night was 12 Years A Slave, which not only picked up the big prize, but awards for best adapted screenplay and best supporting actress.

In terms of movies that were ultimately snubbed are the years two most similar films, as American Hustle and The Wolf of Wall Street both got blanked, as did Captain Philips and Nebraska.

The red carpet front: I’ve been seeing a lot of green out on the red carpet, ranging from jade greens to darker hunter greens (like Idina

Menzel’s Vera Wang dress). The biggest star rocking this look out there is best actress nominee Sandra Bullock. The most divisive dress had to be Liza Minelli’s cobalt blue dress, which love it or hate, is a suitably spotlight stealing look for a suitably spotlight stealing star. In a rare occasion where I’m looking at men’s fashion, Pharrell’s shorts/Capri tux came off like a complete eyesore. On the other hand, both Cate Blanchett’s and Amy Adams’ dresses were incredibly classy affairs, and Matthew McConaughey’s white smoking jacket is pretty swank.

The night in speeches: The night started out with Jared Leto’s incredibly pretentious awards ceremony speech in which he managed to sneak in a plug for his band, as well as mentioning the civil war like situations in Ukraine and Venezuela. This was followed by an equally bizarre set up by Jim Carrey for an animation montage that included a random shot at Bruce Dern, prop glasses, and an LSD reference. We got an equally bizarre presentation moment later in the night with Kim Novak and Matthew McConaughey, where it looked like McConaughey wanted to go full Groucho, making it seem like he was trying ad-lib off a teleprompter (a delivery McConaughey would then follow for his best actor acceptance speech). After a tepid couple of hours, we got a bizarre speech from the co-writers of “Let It Go”, that involved quoting the birthday song and a scream of “Brooklyn!”

In terms of speeches I enjoyed, both documentary award recipients had quick and heartfelt speeches, with Malcolm Clarke and Nicholas Reed discussing the subject of their film The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved my Life, while Darlene Love gave a rousing verse in the middle of the acceptance speech for 20 Feet to Stardom. Where Leto’s speech felt pretentious, Lupita Nyong’o’s best supporting actress speech was amazingly heartfelt and emotional (and the orchestra threw her a bone by playing her out with Willy Wonka).

Mixology Is Funny But Uses A Bad Formula

by Michael Tyminski

Mixology: Wednesdays at 9:30 Eastern on ABC

Life is full of mysteries, and TV is no exception. These head-scratchers range from the mundane, like for example how Dads got all 17 of it’s episodes to air to the the more complex, like how MTV ran kicking and screaming from music and why the networks that tend to pride themselves on their scripted programming are predominantly launching reality TV. However, amid all these mysteries, one boggles more than most: How on earth does ABC consistently fail to find a suitable show to pair with one of the best lead-in’s on TV: Modern Family. In the last calendar year we’ve found at least two other shows in that spot, and it’s newest show Mixology also seems like a questionable fit in ABC’s Wednesday family comedy block.

Mixology, from the writers of The Hangover (I gleaned this information because it is literally the only thing ABC tells you about the show), tells the story of ten individuals over one night in a high end bar in Manhattan’s meat-packing district. These young, trendy, individuals are all out on the hunt for love (whether for the long term or just for the night), and Mixology focuses hard on this romantic angle (as opposed to building around a night out with the friends). The structure furthers this by focusing on two or three characters on the bar at a time.

As with most comedies, the first question I tend to gravitate towards is: Is it funny? Mixology is pretty successful on this level even if most of the best jokes are in our narrator’s snarky voice overs. These voice overs exist to set up fairly long expository flashback sequences. The sequences themselves are pretty funny in their own right (even if they don’t really reveal more than the one relevant character trait) often taking advantage of a more slapstick style than the bar scenes themselves.

Unfortunately, Mixology fails on it’s concept. The romance angles feel fairly empty, and while the whole show is structured and marketed on the concept of “who’s leaving the bar with who”, that is by far the least interesting part of the show. No matter how hard this show wants me to care about potential relationships, it makes the fatal mistake of leaning so hard on it’s jumbled serialization that it is going to be difficult to truly root for ships until it’s way too late.

Many of these flaws are a function of the shows jumbled format, which takes a cue from season four of Arrested Development. The show takes a jumbled cast of 10 strangers, and pairs them off, isolating its’ episodes main characters for long stretches of time. While a format of this ilk may work well for a show like Development, it’s much harder to achieve such a goal when the characters are completely new and particularly well fleshed out.

The Final Verdict: In an ideal version of Mixology I see a pretty funny sitcom about three buddies in a bar trying to get laid. Unfortunately, this series is not structurally sound (as the compression format opts to skip it’s downbeats in favor of long, but not particularly expository flashbacks), and the soapy elements are not particularly interesting. The end result is another in a long line of series that seems like a horrendous fit for the post Modern Family slot, as ABC has capped off it’s most family-friendly comedy block with what is probably the most vulgar big four show this side of Seth McFarlane. Normally, this would put a show in wait-and-see territory, but the structural issues are going to sink the entire season (or at least the first half of it), making this an easy skip, even if Wednesdays at 9:30 are not a particularly strong time slot right now.

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